So.
We had an episode today.
It was interesting, to say the least.
As you may have guessed, it has to do with spiders. Yay.
While I don't automatically kill EVERY spider I see and generally wish them no ill when they are not crawling on me, I don't get all warm and fuzzy when they slink toward me with their eight prickly toes.
I used to be deathly afraid of them, but no longer. I have become one of the enlightened, realizing that I would MUCH rather share my home or other space with spiders than with any of the other creepy-crawlies out in the world. I mean, think about it, they EAT other bugs. I'm totally on board with that.
Anyway.
So this morning, we are all piled in the car at some unholy hour taking the Daddy to work. The Daddy is driving. I am drowsing in the front seat, longing for coffee. The girls are quiet in the backseat, quietly thinking little girl thoughts. It is a peaceful drive.
And then suddenly down into my vision slides something crawly. And it's not apparently attached to anything in the car. But it IS perilously close to attaching itself to my knee.Which I do *not* want.
So I calmly ask the Daddy if he will verify that it is, indeed, a spider making its swinging, careening way down a silken thread toward my knee.
He verifies. I require, rather than ask, that he (although he is driving, and YES, I KNOW this is completely and utterly ridiculous of me) dispose of the spider in any way that he deems desirable.
Now, let me just clarify here: THERE WAS NO HYSTERIA ON MY PART.
There was a bit of "Ewww, GROSS!" going on when he smacked it against the glove compartment and then proceeded to wipe the smashed spider guts on my pants. Seriously. Ewwww. Thanks, Daddy.
But as soon as the word, spider, came out of my mouth, KayKay was on high alert. It was like we'd darted her with adrenaline. Hysteria GALORE.
She immediately screeched, "Spider?!?!?! WHERE?!?!?!"
Followed by, "It's not BACK HERE, is it???? Are you SURE??? Where is it? Are you sure it didn't run back here and isn't going to suck out my brains through my ear canal in a second??? Where is the SPIDER??? WHAT HAPPENED TO IT??? I thought I saw it!! Is it still up front? Are you CERTAIN it's not coming back here to crawl up my butt and lay its freaky spider eggs???? Where did it GO???? Oh my goodness, there's a SPIDER!!! The world is coming to an end!!! Look, I saw something move!!! Are you SURE FOR CERTAIN AND POSITIVE it's absolutely DEAD???"
And on. And on. AND ON.
We *finally* managed to convince her that the spider was, indeed, dead, and that there would be no more spider episodes in the car for a good long time or forever, whichever was longer.
And I mean, FINALLY. It took the entire drive to convince her. (The spider had showed up in the first minute or two of our fifteen minute drive.)
Fast forward ten minutes.
The Daddy has been dropped off, and we've just entered the stream of traffic known as I-40. From the backseat I hear an ear-shattering scream worthy of ANY horror movie.
Fortunately, I learned to drive with my mother, and (most of the time) have nerves of steel when it comes to screaming in the car.
I think you know what's coming, right?
YEP.
Yet ANOTHER unfortunate spider came out of the woodwork and took the wrong route, right in KayKay's face.
The whole car was practically rocking with her hysterical flailing and flinging and screaming. She was certain it was in her coat, crawling up her leg and sliding down her butt-crack all at the same time.
All I could do was laugh. The screaming didn't do it, but the laughing... There I nearly had to pull over. Which is exactly what she wanted me to do so that she could jump out and do a spider dance, but I wouldn't.
My poor child. I'm more than likely going to have to pay for many years of therapy.
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