Huckabee, Huckabye, Huckleberry Finn

My Understanding of Winter

2012-02-12T22:24:00.001-06:00

So.

I've been thinking. (As usual.)

Been marinating in the idea of winter lately. For a good long while, actually.

Although it's been an exceptionally mild winter this year as compared to the last few, we are still in the midst of it - and the middle of an actual cold snap! - and I've been thinking about what winter truly means.

Winter is a season, of course. A space in which we live our lives differently than we do the rest of the year. A space for layering and bedding down and keeping the cold out and the warmth in. A space for times of great celebration and generosity and family gatherings... And all that those entail.

Winter is a time of death, waiting for its resurrection; of earth full of grief; of the laying down of life; of decay... As in the tale of Demeter and Persephone.

In my mind, winter has always been a time of waiting.

Waiting for the cold to end.

Waiting for the sun to come back.

Waiting for life to return to the rhythms we find through spring, summer and fall... Winter's rhythm has always found its place in waiting.

I know in some places - like my hometown of Miami - winter isn't much different than the rest of the year. Still sunny, still warm, the winter days are much like the summer ones, except it's slightly-less-than-hellishly-hot.

But here, things are different. There is a marked change of seasons that I love with every ounce of my soul. I love the marking of time through the seasons, and the movement of life. Such beautiful transitions.

But lately, I've discovered that my ideas are shifting of what winter really is.

We've spent some time outside recently, in the woods (Yes, there are woods in my urbanesque life!), and it was there that my thoughts really began to gel... Until then, I'd not really been able to put words to the feeling; it was just an odd sort of knowing that winter was MUCH MORE than I'd given it credit for.

I began noticing all the signs of life in the middle of these cold-barren trees, dead grass and sullen rains. In fact, the natural world was teeming with life. Not the vibrant, twittering, sunny glowing life of summer, no. No, this is a DIFFERENT sort of life. It holds the rich and earthy smell of moss and the color green.

Despite the snow (what little there has been) and leafless existence of the trees, now suddenly even the dirt looks alive to me... I hear the birds singing their winter songs and wonder, "Why has it always seemed so quiet before?" I watch the squirrels chase each other, flying through the trees, and think how happy they must be just to have another day. I uncover an earthworm quite by mistake and realize that its work is moving forward just as it had on those hot July days not so long ago.

So here I've thought all this time that winter was a time of dying before the act of truly living could begin... When instead, it's just been a different kind of living all along. One just as important, where we have to dig down deep into our roots to find the sustenance that we need to savor the moments before we burst into bloom.

I'm not in the space of the phoenix in death, waiting for its rebirth into the fiery glory of living, of spring, oh no. WINTER IS LIFE. Abundant, brilliant life.

A different kind of beautiful living, certainly. A different kind of life. But everywhere I look, I see it. I see life.

And that's the one I want to live. No matter what season I happen to be in.

So no more waiting. Time to jump in, eyes wide open.

It All Started With The Chicken Pox...

2012-02-05T19:07:00.000-06:00

...And then ended up with me not writing on here for like... EVER.

So much has happened since I last posted, I don't even know where to begin!

Okay, so rather than starting at the beginning like a normal person (Because, since when have I ever claimed to be normal anyway?), I'm going to bounce around and give the highlights. Yay for highlights!

Okay, so beginning at the beginning, and a little backstory:

First off, you should know that in 30-odd years of living on this planet, I have never had chicken pox. I've been exposed to it FOUR TIMES. Never had it. Until the end of last April. *Sigh*

I got a cold. Mangy cold. Felt mangy for a week. Ugh. I hate colds.

Then, like four days into it, I start feeling better. Yay! Feeling better rocks!

Then two days after that... Life sucks. Sick again. But now, with rash. So now I have this weird (BUT NOT ITCHY) rash all over - but mainly on my face and torso. Crap. What gives?

Google.

Holy $%$#!!!

Doctor.

Seriously, I have CHICKEN POX? Who gets chicken pox as an adult???? Apparently, it's SO FREAKING RARE that I have to have like 3 doctors look at me to confirm. Rawr. The pox sucks.

*Sigh* Okay, whatever. I'm resigned. But now the HAZMAT suits have come out at home... See, the Daddy has never had the pox, either. And neither have the girls.

So, of course, the Daddy goes on Mommy strike. He wouldn't come near me in any fashion and I was relegated to the couch for almost a week. The children were quarantined and not to be touched by either of us, too (the Daddy wouldn't touch THEM because they had touched ME before we knew it was the plague).

The children decided to formulate their own version of the strike, namely by making signs:

Their sign reads: "Do No Touch!! (Chicken Pock layed on it.)"

Note the fact that the exclamation points all have skulls and crossbones on them. I am now affectionately referred to as "Chicken Pock," among our family and friends, although fortunately the name seems to have started to fade. I'm sure righting about it will spark a revival, but whatever. I'm cool.

The pox, however, is NOT cool.

It was, though, overall, a very mild case of chicken pox, especially given the fact that I'd heard my whole life about how awful it is to have it as an adult. There was little fever or anything else, and mostly it was just the misery of being itchy and covered in blisters. Benedryl was my friend, let me tell you!

But in the midst of dealing with chicken pox, I was completely stressed out because the girls and I were leaving for Florida in just a couple of weeks and I wasn't sure if I'd be well enough to travel AND the fact that the girls had never had the pox, either and I was worried they'd get it... AND BESIDES all of that - I was going to a once-a-year conference that I had been committed to assisting with for months.

Whoa. Stress city.

But as it turned out, it was fine (well, mostly).

We left on a plane for Miami about two-and-a-half weeks after I first got sick, and I still had a few spots on my face (thank goodness for makeup!), but had been cleared by my doctor of being infectious. Yay!

So off we go, only allowed carry-on bags, for the first leg of what I like to call, Our Whirlwind Tour of the U.S. And it seriously was.

We were in Miami for a week before the conference, then the week of the conference - the girls were in a local summer camp program while I went to help out, and supposed to be there another week after the conference before heading off to the West Coast.

But then... Dum-dum-DUM... The last day of the conference, KayKay woke up with the pox. SERIOUSLY?!?!? According to everything I'd read and my doctor, there's only a 21-day incubation period, and that had been WELL over before the conference even started! But oh-no. She got it too, poor kid. So our last days in Miami were spent with a miserable kid and me apologizing a hundred times to everybody (Especially the summer camp with the 150-bajillion other kids that were exposed to her!!) because I honestly thought we were in the clear. Ugh.

But away we flew anyway, there was a wedding waiting and 30 hours in San Francisco wedged in there, too.

So, now back to highlights:

May, June and July were spent on the Whirlwind Tour with three-ish weeks in Miami, 30-ish hours in San Francisco, a week on the central Oregon coast, and five weeks along the California-Oregon coast. And two cases of chicken pox thrown in for good measure. Yes, the Ladybug got chicken pox, too. *Sigh*

Then back home for three weeks of August, just to head out again, this time to our lovely in-laws in central Florida and then back down to Miami again for the rest of September.

Whew! Are you exhausted yet?

Yeah. I was, too. It was great, but exhausting! We had a busy, busy, busy, BUSY year.

Fortunately, the chicken pox which started it all was pretty mild for all three of us, and the Daddy didn't get it at all (How unfair is that?!?!), and at least now we don't have to worry about getting it again.

But now I'm back! Let's get the party started back up! So much to tell... So little typing time.

The One Where I Write About Japan

2011-04-21T12:27:00.001-05:00

So Monday happened... And there was no Reading. Well... There was reading, but I didn't share any of it. This week has been kind of odd. And I think maybe it had something to do with the fact that Passover started Monday night? Life this last week or so has just felt... In limbo. Like I was waiting for something big to happen. And it did. And now I can move forward, with remembrance.

Anyway. This post is not about yesterday or this week or Passover (as much as I would like it to be).

It's about Japan.

Finally.

I know.

I'll be honest: I've been avoiding the whole subject.

I haven't looked at many photos. I haven't read much about it. I haven't talked about it, even among my friends who I see a lot. In fact, I've wholly forgotten about it a couple of times.

And I haven't given anywhere... Yet.

Am I a callused, selfish, ignorant fool?

Maybe.

Sometimes, it's just easier to bury your head in the sand. Sometimes, I like being that cartoon ostrich. Sometimes, it hurts too much to look Death and Pain and Carnage and Sorrow full in the face and not flinch.

Sometimes, I just don't want my heart to break. Lately has been one of those sometimes. I feel fragile. Or overwhelmed. Or both, maybe? I don't know.

Even as I'm writing this, my heart aches. For what I haven't seen, but I know must surely be. For the pain, the loss, the chaos, the heartache.

I guess maybe that's because I have to marinate on things - on big, scary, awful, important THINGS - for a while. I have to think about them and let them sit quietly in my heart.

Or else I'll get overwhelmed. And I'm useless when I'm overwhelmed.

And because there is so much else crowding my mind, my thoughts, and my actions. The day-to-day of life and small children and breathing and my own small world.

I think sometimes, during a life crisis or a breakdown or whatever it is that SOMEONE ELSE is going through, I can appear aloof, untouched and untouchable. In fact, I've had several family members tell me "You just don't care!" when I am presented with their hurricanes of life stuff.

And that's patently untrue. I DO CARE.

I care too much.

I care so much that I have to turn off my emotions. Otherwise I am engulfed by them, overtaken and the waves of my heart become tsunamis that threaten to destroy me, to overwhelm me. And I'm useless when I'm overwhelmed.

So I turn my emotions off (as best I can), and I become cool, logical Kristen. The female counterpart to Mr. Spock.

And only in the private moments of quiet do I allow them to come back and let the tears come. And believe me, they come. A lot more than I'd like to admit.

Perhaps this is a wrong way of dealing with the really heavy, hard, ultra-sad stuff... Perhaps. I don't know. But this is how I am able to cope.

So here we are.

Awful things have happened.

Japan has happened.

And I've sat quietly with it.

And the tears have come.

And I've turned them off.

And NOW is the time to talk about it.

So why am I posting about this now? A full month, a full SIX WEEKS after the first quake?

Because NOW, it's *not* breaking news anymore. It's old. It's stale. We already know all about that. It's after-the-fact. It's almost time to forget. Japan is the setting sun on the horizon of our collective memories. So what! Japan had yet ANOTHER major earthquake... We don't care, we've already heard about it.

That's why NOW Japan is so incredibly important.

When the rest of America has moved on, this is when *I* am ready to think about it, talk about it, and ACT on what has happened.

I've talked about it with KayKay (and a little with the Ladybug), and we've talked about what it means to be homeless and WITHOUT. Her emotions come more easily than mine, and she is strongly moved.

So as a family, we are donating to Shelterbox. I offered the choice up to KayKay and she felt the most connected to their work. I invite you to donate to them or the Red Cross or Doctors Without Borders.

We are also contacting friends in Japan to discuss whether we can send them things directly that THEY PERSONALLY can distribute.

Please join us in continuing to pray for the people of Japan.

I know this is late... But it feels timely. It feels just right.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Do share, friends.

Monday Reading, The I Started Early Edition

2011-04-11T23:41:00.001-05:00

I am AWESOME.

I'm actually starting this post a FULL twenty-four hours before I intend to post it.

It's like some kind of miracle!

Or maybe it's spring fever.

Or maybe I just have that little to do.

Nah. Definitely not that last one. I always have WAY too much to do (even when I try to scrape things off the calendar, they keep holding on like that one dried-on piece of food that just WON'T COME OFF the otherwise clean plate you're scrubbing... Or something...).

Speaking of busy, this weekend has been busy, man.

But the weather has been AH-MAZINGLY GORGEOUS, so we were going and doing and frolicking in the sun all weekend. *Happy sigh* Love.

I even have a little bit of a sunburn to prove it, too. Although that doesn't really mean much, because ten minutes in the sun and I'm crisped up like a lobster. My father used to call me a vampire (actually, he still does) because I hibernate when the sun comes out (i.e., it's HOT) and I'm pasty white. But the comparison is no longer apt, because - as awesome as it would be - I don't glitter in the sunlight (DARN IT. Why don't I glitter?!?!?!). Then again, Twilight isn't even a blip on his radar (stay true, untainted and totally awesome, Dad!), so you know...

And yes, there is definitely shame in admitting that I've actually *read* the Twilight series. *Sigh* But the fact that I love this helps. Seriously, read it. It's hysterical. THANK YOU, Olivia!

But anyway. We had a great weekend.

We went to the farmer's market, picnicked in the park (TWICE), played frisbee and Molkky (I actually won! It *IS* a miracle!), ate at the Cheesecake Factory (it's just a WEEKEND of miracles!), ran errands, and worked in the garden. Oh, and picked violets for jelly (more on that to come).

____________________________________________________________________________________

Okay. So. I ACTUALLY started this post LAST WEEK right before the power went out.

And fittingly, we've had another major storm here. (It is Monday after all, why not?) And have had flaky internet all day (ARGH!).

So, in keeping with this seemingly new tradition, I figured I'd post this now. That and the fact that we had yet another incredibly awesome and insane weekend, complete with more feats of Molkky (I won! AGAIN!!!) and a night so late I'm almost ashamed to write it (I was up until after 2:00 AM... But it was worth it!) and another beautiful couple of sunshiny days.

But... This Reading post is going to be a relatively short one, for three reasons:

A) I have internet, I need to type and save while I can.

B) I'm trapped in the middle of Eat, Pray, Love. Well, actually, I'm not, but that's another story. Suffice it to say, I haven't branched out as much as I would have liked this week.

C) It's late, and I'm tired.

Answer C is actually the most pressing at this point, but whatever.

So on to the reading you say? Okay! Let's go!

Books

So like I said earlier, this week has rather revolved around Eat, Pray, Love. I didn't really intend for that to happen - it just kind of did. After finishing The Book Thief a bit ago, I determined to finish Eat, Pray, Love before I moved on to anything else. So that I might take at least ONE item OFF of my nightstand and place it on a bookshelf where it belongs. I mean, seriously, my nightstand looks like a bookstore went out of business all over it.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I've managed to get down to the last fifty-or-so pages in the last five or six days... Just not in time for this post! Ack.

So I don't really have much to say on that front except that I can FINALLY do my breakdown of The Book Thief. Yay!

About The Book Thief... To give a quick overview, the book is about a young girl, Liesel Meminger who is taken to live with a foster family at the start of World War II. The story centers on Liesel, but there are many very strong characters throughout. It is narrated by Death, who meets Liesel for the first time when her brother dies on the way to the foster family's home. And then he becomes interested in her story. And it is Death's telling of Liesel, her family, her friends, Germany, Hitler, and the Jews.

Oh, my.

I'll start with the cons, like always.

Cons: First and foremost, it takes a little bit to get into the story. This book is not one that immediately envelopes you into its fictional life. It's more of a slow-moving stream than white water rapids. And like I said earlier, the sort-of news-bulletin things in it were very distracting for me at first. I didn't know how to place them and what significance to give them. Just know that they are, actually, important and have a place.

Also, there is some language in this book. There is some common name-calling (NOT nice name-calling - basically the German equivalent to calling someone an S-O-B) throughout the book, but what's interesting to me about it is that the name-calling almost always is in relation to someone the characters' have affection for. I'm not sure how I feel about that at all. As an adult, it didn't bother me in the least, but for a younger high-school student... I'm not sure.

Lastly, this is a dark book. It is not an easy story to read, the subject matter is quite obviously very heavy, and although it ends well, it is a dark and weighted read. Don't pick it up if you're feeling hormonal. There were several scenes (read: half the book) where I bawled like a baby.

Pros: It was incredibly thoughtful and thought-provoking. The writing was solid and poetic at the same time. I read several criticisms of this book that said the writing was pretentious and forced, but I didn't feel that at all. There was only once or twice where I felt that the author, Marcus Zusak, may have tried a little too hard, but overall, I feel that his writing in the book is excellent. It is very emotive and focuses a lot around color - it's use and portrayal is very important to the way the book plays out, and it is used in some really unusual ways.

The characters are VERY well-developed. I felt that I really got to know these people as PEOPLE, as a part of my life, and their emotions and experiences impacted me. I feel that a sign of a fantastically well-written book is one which finds me wondering about the characters' lives when I am *not* reading it. This book definitely has that quality. In fact, if Zusak had not pulled off the character development as well as he had, this book would have been a complete waste of paper, because it is ALL about the characters and how they interact.

It was also refreshing to see a book about Germans who weren't Nazis. Who actually hated the Nazis and Hitler just as much as the Jews did, and who defied them in small ways and suffered in small ways at the hands of the Nazis. I know that this is a truth for many Germans of that generation, but it is very underrepresented among Holocaust literature.

Conclusion: Oh my goodness. I SO loved this book. Like I said, it was a bit slow-going in the beginning, but I am so very glad that I pushed through those first couple of chapters because it is such a worthy read. This book is a must-read for any young person over the age of sixteen or adult, in my opinion. It is heart-breakingly good. Devastatingly good. Sweetly, beautifully GOOD.

Now. Go read it.

Links

Okay, so here we are at links!

Up first...

A Spring Apron: Storybook Woods. Isn't this delightful? I just love it! And I wouldn't mind looking that good in it, either.

Bent Leather, Part One: Sage Parnassus. As I am learning more about homeschooling and Charlotte Mason, I am drawn to this post in particular, because it looks like what I want for my girls. What are your thoughts on this?

Making Healthy Changes When Your Husband Isn't On Board: Keeper of the Home. Ho boy. This one is a good one. And something I have struggled to find the balance with for years!

Inspired: Mom-Nom.Com. Perfect. Lovely. Inspiring. I love how she describes how she's feeling, too, don't you? And so many awesome links!

How To Bring Peace To The Witching Hour: SimpleMom. I thought I'd already posted this, but apparently I didn't... Anyway, I nearly cried tears of relief when I read this and realized that I was NOT ALONE. We have struggled with this "witching hour" for years. So good!

Cutting Down On Sugar, 21 Ways To Eat Less Sugar: Keeper of the Home. Another one from Stephanie, and this is just a great article to read... We already follow many of the suggestions she has here, but there are some I hadn't thought of!

Alright, friends... I'm off. Happy Monday, and do stop in again! And let me know your thoughts!

Monday Reading: Postponed

2011-04-05T16:12:00.003-05:00

So, Monday Reading kind of lost its power. Actually, there was no "kind of" about it. We really did lose power.

Well. I guess I should explain a little.

Early yesterday afternoon we got hit by a major storm and the electricity went out all over the city. It was restored by late afternoon to many people, but we were not among those lucky ones.

Instead, we got to stay up half the night listening to the two-hundred-and-fifty men from the electric company yell at each other over the ear-shattering roar of their God-awful-loud truck while they fixed the power RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR WINDOW. I honestly think they parked it next to the glass. But maybe I'm being hyper-sensitive.

I shouldn't complain - I mean, I know people who STILL don't have power. And I should be grateful... More than I am, certainly. But some part of me wishes I could have slept.

Anyway.

I actually started a Monday Reading post last week, but after all the power shenanigans yesterday, I'm just not feeling it.

So. Monday Reading is postponed until next week. I'm sure I'll have a lot more to tell about then anyway.

Instead, I'll share something pretty. It is Tuesday after all, and Monday's well in the past already.

Doesn't this just make your heart happy? It does mine. I love spring, despite the crazy weather.

And daffodils are like sunshine and happiness all wrapped up into one blazingly glorious moment. Daffodils are the bow on Winter's gift of Spring. To me, daffodils sing joy and renewal, calling in the next new thing.

Happy springtime, friends.

Nature Connection: Literally.

2011-04-02T23:28:00.001-05:00

So.

My fabulous friend, Sherry, of Living And Learning fame and more fabulousness, always hosts this totally fantabulous link-up called Nature Connections at the end of every month.
(Click the button at the bottom to check it out!)

And I always forget to link up. Or I just don't feel like we've actually CONNECTED to nature in a post-worthy way.

Fast-forward to this afternoon.

Sherry sends out a reminder that the post will be closing soon. Which gets me to thinking.

"We're going to the park this afternoon. I should bring the camera."

And oh, boy, am I ever glad I did!

The Ladybug had a nature connection of the literal kind. Or perhaps, I should call it a nature epiphany.

My kids are both like Dug: "SQUIRREL!

It started with a squirrel. A somewhat blurry squirrel, but still. Damn squirrel, stop twitching!

Anyway.

I call it Squirrel Nutkin. Awww, isn't he cute?

I'm still feeling all Beatrix Potter-ish (Can you tell??). And since we just listened to an audiobook of her stories, I keep hearing it pronounced, "Squir-REL" in my mind.

But anyway.

So it started with a curious fat little Squirrel Nutkin.

And a curious little girl with some actual nuts.

The squirrel and the girl were BOTH curious.

They got closer...

And CLOSER...

To each other.

And then it happened...

The point of contact:

Ack! Squirrel Nutkin grabbed her finger by mistake!

Oh yes, there was a connection all right.

But apparently the Ladybug wasn't too upset because she started back up again almost immediately. And I think Squirrel Nutkin was sorry for his mistake because he immediately came back, too, and very gently took the nut from her hand (not that you can tell from these next photos, but it's true!).

But she was MUCH more cautious after that (even though he didn't really hurt her).

I think this photo is nearly my favorite because of her expression. I'm just so sad that it's blurry!

Sheer terror! Ha!

Of course, KayKay had to get in on the squirrel action... But with STYLE.


Yes, she IS actually holding a nut up against the tree while striking a pose.

And that was that. Squirrel Nutkin went on to bury a few of his nuts just to dig them up and eat them two minutes later.

All's well that ends well.

Oh, have I mentioned that up until now, it has been *both* my girls' greatest aspiration (among many, but this one ranks high) to catch and "tame" a squirrel?

Yes. I kid you not. They chase them. They call them. They talk to them. They stalk them. They've made (very elaborate and creative) traps for them all over our miniscule front yard. I have found drawings of plans made for squirrel catching and taming.

I know. It's kinda weird.

But I guess there are a lot worse things they could be planning, right?

And after today, perhaps the obsession will fade into the twilight of childhood memory... I HOPE.

Sacred Sustenance

2011-03-31T12:25:00.003-05:00

So. This post has been rattling around in my head for ages now. A good long while. Months, I tell you!

My sweet friend, the ever-fabulous, ever-chic Miss Heather of Gathering Spriggs wrote a post with the same title (you didn't think I came up with that one on my own now, did you?) last year about cooking and eating that was a joy to read. It rocked my world. And I got to thinking.

My cooking philosophy is quite well reflected in what she said, actually. I TOTALLY IDENTIFY. I'm the creative, free-spirited type. I don't do well with rigid schedules and expectations.

Ritual and tradition are often hard for my free-spirited self. But more and more, I see the value in them the older I get, and am working hard to establish some rituals in our household revolving around the way we eat.

I love food. I love to be in the kitchen making and baking and experimenting. I love exploring blogs and magazines about cooking and trying new recipes. I love to break bread with those who mean the most to me. I love (a little too much, I'm sure) to eat.

So, in case you haven't noticed, I like to eat. (Maybe you haven't. If you know me, though, you KNOW.)

I talk about food a lot. I think about food more than I should. I definitely EAT more food than is *really* necessary. You might say I'm obsessed.

And you'd be (mostly) right. But I like to think about it as more of a love affair. There is something blessed and almost holy in the rite of preparing and partaking in a meal.

Our lives center around the act of eating. Everything else is ancillary. Except for breathing, nothing else (physical) is absolutely necessary. Food is life-giving. Life-sustaining. But the meal should not be consumed simply for survival. Life is about MORE than survival, right? It's about the act of living, of thriving, of being and becoming.

Food is meant to be enjoyed. I mean, what's the point of eating if it's not enjoyable? I honestly believe that life here on earth is too short to not enjoy the things that we have been given. To not savor them. It is NOURISHMENT. Think of the word: to nourish. It means,

1. To sustain with food or nutriment; supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth.

2. To cherish, foster, keep alive, etc.: He had long nourished the dream of living abroad.

3. To strengthen, build up, or promote: to nourish the arts in one's community.

Notice how that one word is so much MORE than simply the act of consuming?

And where one's food comes from, how it is processed (or not) is, I think, almost as important as the act of eating itself.

To be clear, I am *not* talking about situations where people are starving and there's literally not enough to go around. I am talking about this subject in relation to what I know.

And as a diabetic, even more of my life revolves around food, in very powerful and mostly negative ways, sadly.

Remember when I talked about guilt in this post? Yeah.

Food and guilt go hand-in-hand when you're diabetic. More so when you're overweight and diabetic.

More about that later (because seriously, who wants to talk about the fact that they are fat?).

And so the act of eating becomes even more complicated (aside from the guilt) when you add-in something like diabetes. Because there's carb-counting, and insulin-to-carb ratios and deciding if you need ALL the insulin now, or if it should be spread out over the next hour-and-a-half. And this usually all has to happen before you can take the first bite of whatever it is you want to eat.

Diabetes involves a lot of complicated maths. Yay. I loves me some complicated maths. Fortunately, my pump does a lot of it for me, but still, there's a lot it doesn't do. And I've been doing it so long now, that it comes almost automatically. Although whenever I sit down to actually THINK it out, it takes me forty-forevers, and I'm half-wrong most of the time.

But I am so sick of the guilt, the shouldnts, the cants. Life is too damn short to not eat a doughnut once every six months, I'm sorry. People, ALL people, but especially people like me, should be able to ENJOY our food. We are constantly told how most things are bad for us - and YES, so much of what is out there, prepackaged, precooked, preheated, preprocessed using God-only-knows what - is SO VERY bad for us, but NO... NOT ALL FOOD IS BAD. And indulging (using common sense and with moderation) is good for the soul.

Anyway.

But as much as I love to cook and eat, I realized when I read Heather's post that I was not nearly as intentional about the meals I make and partake in as I had THOUGHT I was. Despite the love affair, I haven't made mealtime a sacred space. And that, I think, is an area in which *I* personally need to grow. And that's continued to swirl around the back of my mind for these last months.

There is a saying in the Talmud, When the Holy Temple was in existence, the Altar atoned for Israel; today, a person's table atones for him.

-Talmud, Berachot 55a

Whoa.

While I don't totally adhere to this belief, I think there is SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT to be taken here.

If we are seeking to be holy, seeking for that kedushah (holiness) of spirit, then what does our table say of that? What does the way that we prepare our meals and then take in nourishment speak of our journey toward holiness, toward becoming our best selves?

I am caught and condemned, because up until recently - today perhaps - though I had read Heather's post and have been ruminating on it, I had not thought of our food - our sustenance - as a part of becoming holy.

It has not been sacred. It has very often been rushed and pushed and inhaled and wolfed and digested and annihilated. But it has not been contemplated, delighted in, relished, rejoiced in, enjoyed, and appreciated at all OFTEN ENOUGH.

And a lot of all this, just like everything else in life (more so with diabetes), comes down to discipline. It is a discipline to breathe the aromas and quiet the soul before partaking. To savor every bite. To practice self-control and not snarf down a whole box of Nutty Bars because the Daddy brought them home and now they're just sitting there, mocking you, begging to be eaten. To prayerfully consider snarfing down the whole box and ask God to somehow make them healthy, even if it's only for the afternoon.

I am sadly lacking in discipline in many areas of my life. But I am working hard toward learning more of it. In ALL things moderation. Something our society has lost sight of. Something I am still learning.

So what are YOUR thoughts on this subject, friends? I would love to hear them and invite a discussion. Do share!

Monday Reading, The Weird Weather Edition

2011-03-28T23:40:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't noticed, most of the titles of Monday Readings have little or nothing to do with what I actually post. Just FYI.

However, they do tend to have something to do with what's going on or my particular feeling at the moment I start writing.

Anyway.

Good Monday, friends! I hope it's been a lovely one so far.

On Facebook earlier, I wrote that I love Mondays, and it's true.

I love the feeling of getting back into the rhythm of days after the chaos of the weekends. Don't get me wrong, I love the weekends, too, because then the Daddy is home and we have DAYTIME family time, YAY!

But I love Mondays. I love the clean slate upon which we write the story of our week to come. I love getting everything that got left scattered actually DONE. I love restarting the routine (such that it is in our household), and setting upon the new thing, whatever that may be.

Perhaps I would feel differently were I in a different place and tromping off to work each Monday, but for now, Mondays are simply lovely. So, a happy Monday it is for us. And you as well, dear friends, I hope!

Let me tell you, the weather lately has been wild and crazy. We were plunged back into the depths of winter over the weekend, and have been left frazzled and cold and bewildered. It was eighty-degrees and humid last week!

So here we are, and the sun is out again (YAY for sunshine!), but it's barely fifty. But I am ever-so grateful for the sunshine and happy little birds.

Anyway. Off to reading!

Books

This week has been entirely dedicated to the reading of The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. So, I am going to say a few words about it, and then move on to a couple of books KayKay has been reading. I will not do a comprehensive review of anything this week, though. Just my thoughts for now.

First of all - I am really liking The Book Thief. More than I expected, actually, given my hesitancy at the beginning. I am more than halfway through it, and I am fascinated by the way the story is unfolding. I am really involved in the characters' lives and the layout, which gave me pause to begin with, has really grown on me.

It is not pretentious and is very gritty. Very real. I would not recommend this book for anyone under the age of sixteen, simply because the subject matter (Nazi Germany and the Holocaust) and some of the language is geared toward a more mature audience (read: there are some wordy-dirds. Which should NOT dissuade you from picking this book up, though.).

So far, I am really liking this book. Unless it really falls apart from here, I'm likely going to be giving it two thumbs up.

Oh, and I just realized something else: it's a New York Times Bestseller.

OF COURSE.

I haven't read one in years (if ever), and then I write on here that I don't read them... And look! Two in very nearly two weeks! *Sigh* Such is life, I suppose.

So now, on to KayKay's reading of late:

As I mentioned last week, she's really into ancient Egypt right now, so I picked up (on super-sale) The Egyptology Handbook by Emily Sands. Apparently, it's supposed to go with this book, but I didn't realize that when I bought it, and it seems to be comprehensive enough without the other one. KayKay LOVES it, and I must say, there is a lot of information packed into this little book. The layout is very appealing as well, which never hurts. I may decide to list it on E-Bay or Amazon after she gets done with it,because I'm not sure of keeping it as a permanent addition to our library, but overall, we both like it (as does the Ladybug, who seems to love looking at all the pictures, even if she can't read much of it!).

At the library recently, KayKay also picked up this book, Let It Shine: Stories of Black Women Freedom Fighters by Andrea Davis Pinkney. KayKay is very interested in women's rights and equality, so it did not surprise me when she wanted to borrow it. She really likes it and has been reading a story or two each day for school. I like the layout and the women the author chose to highlight. This is definitely a win for both of us.

So now that it's far too late and far past my bedtime, I am finally finishing up this post. So let's just move right into links, shall we?

Links

Lots and lots and lots and lots of reading going on. ALWAYS.

*Whispering* Dare I say it... That perhaps! I have a little bit of a problem? Too many fascinating things. Not enough time. *Sigh* God and I need to have a conversation about this in heaven, because there are simply not enough hours in the day to do ALL THE READING that needs doing AND get anything else done.

Anyway.

So here are a few of the highlights from this week's reading list.

Condemned To Joy: City Journal. This is a really interesting read about the nature of personal happiness and what it means.

Day 55, Discovering And Accepting Defined Personality Traits: Gluten-Free Strawberry. This is my friend Carrie's personal blog, and I just loved this post. I love what she says at the end. It is SO important.

To Change Your Name Or Not To Change Your Name, Options For Married Scientists: Women In Planetary Science. So I found this blog through the usual convoluted process, but it is a most unusual blog (and I love that!) simply because of the subject matter. And then there's this post. Wow. I had never even considered this as potentially problematic for women scientists, but I guess it is. And apparently (at least according to the comments), there's a rather heated debate about it, too. What would you do?

Meet The Ten-Year-Old CEO of a $500,000 Family Business: AOL Small Business. For those of you with budding entrepreneurs, this is a great article. Although you may *not* want to let them read it, because, well... You know how it is with kids. Next thing you know they'll want to know how many lemons they'll need to buy to make $500,000 of lemonade.

The Girl Who Is Gone: Sand In The Gears. Oh, my. This one is a tearjerker. But oh. So good.

Possibility: Sand In The Gears. And another one by him. And man, it's a good one about parenting. But it was these lines that hooked me, "I’m an analytical hypochondriacal pessimist, flavored with a dash of unreasonable hopefulness. Give me any situation, and I can tell you ten ways it’s bound to go south, and at least five of those ways involve me personally getting cancer in the process." AHAHAHA! I know someone like that (that isn't me... I promise! At least, most of the time!).

Spinach Bacon Fritatta: Cooking With Chopin, Living With Elmo. Okay, so first of all, how could you NOT click on the link with a blog name like THAT? Seriously awesome. Second... I have one word: Bacon. I think I'm going to make this now. That is all.

Bookmaking With Children, Nature Journal With Twig Binding: The Magnifying Glass. How fantastically fun is this project? We have started (but not finished) these - I know, I know, they're super easy... But we've gotten distracted and off-course - BUT they are awesome! We are probably going to finish them tomorrow, and the girls have loved picking out the pieces to make them with (we're decorating the covers a little more elaborately than in the photo here). Totally fun!

Sarah Mast And A Nature Classroom: The Magnifying Glass. Another by her - and tell me this isn't one of the neatest things you've ever laid eyes on? Seriously, where was this stuff when I was a kid?!?! I totally want to build one for my girlie-q's!

Art Lesson, Observational Drawing: Camp Creek Blog. Interestingly, I have recently started assigning observational drawing to KayKay as part of her schoolwork. And then I found this. Fantastic!

And last, but certainly NOT least, my friend Sherry's most recent blog post:

Fifty Outdoor Activities Your Children Will Love: Living And Learning. This is a fantastic and utterly inspiring post about being out, in nature, with your children.

On History

2011-03-26T20:48:00.001-05:00

So here it is, a rainy Saturday night, after a grey Saturday day, and I'm thinking. (Surprise!)

Thinking about lots of things, but this last week, something has kind of been floating around my head and won't let go.

You see, I made a connection the other day, and for me, it was kind of an epiphany.

It's this idea of history.

So. What is history?

You know that, right? It's the long and distant past. That place that lives in the back, forgotten corners of our mind, filled with useless facts about Napoleon and Tolstoy and Cleopatra and the Civil War. It's the collective memory our nation, our people, the world.

But is it more personal than that? Of course. It's the dusty boxes filled with the things we did before moving that last time, marriage, kids, the dog. It's the closed up spaces of our personal lives, where our mistakes (and often guilt) reside.

But then I am thinking... What is history, if it is not in relation to this idea of the collective past, but it is also not the history that is our own personal story?

And I hear you thinking, "Well, Kristen, that doesn't leave you with much. You've covered THE WORLD and you've covered YOUR SELF. What else is there? And where the heck are you going with this?!?!?!"

Bear with me here.

And let me tell you the back story.

I've been batting around some thoughts pertaining to my parents' marriage (and later, lack thereof), and my grandparents' marriages and relational issues. I've been thinking about what I have learned about marriage, the roles of husband and wife in marriage, the roles of men and women in general, from my parents and grandparents and even from what I know of my great-grandparents.

Then the Daddy and I had a conversation about our parents' and our parents' marriages, and I asked him, "What do you think you learned about marriage from your parents?"

Well, he didn't much know what to do with that question, but after some deliberation, he decided that there were no major lessons which came to mind, so "Nothing."

In my mind, I ask, how is that possible? How is it possible to live with two other people for the entirety of your formative years and not come away with ANYTHING?

It's not. As a child, even if you're not paying attention, those relational dynamics are speaking to you in ways you cannot understand or imagine. And for better or worse, they will influence much of how you view the opposite sex and significant relationships in later life.

I simply think that I threw the Daddy for a loop with my question, and at some point he'll come back to me with, hopefully, some thoughts.

But anyway.

That conversation got me to thinking more. Let's bring out the psychologist wig here for a minute, because Kristen wants to wear her Freudian hair.

To what degree does our view of marriage come from the marriages we are most intimately connected to? What effect does the relationships of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents have on OUR relationship today, if any?

What connections can be made between our past and the course that our present is taking?

And this is where the "Aha!" moment came - the oft-quoted saying by George Santayana:

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

It flitted through my mind, and the lightbulb came on.

Wait... What?

This is not the far distant collective past we are talking about here. This is OUR history. The history of the generations who walked before us and bore our grandparents and our parents, who brought them up and lived out their lives before us. It is THEIR mistakes that are often repeated in our own lives.

It's not that I didn't already know this.

I did.

But I didn't UNDERSTAND it in the way that I understand it now.

Those: Me.

Who DO NOT LEARN: Take in knowledge of what's needed and put it into action to make positive change.

From History: The history just outside my own that directly impacts me - my parents', grandparents' and great-grandparents' lives.

Are DOOMED: There is no hope for any other outcome.

To Repeat It: Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, to the third and fourth generations.

Whoa.

To say it another way: If I do not take what I know from my family's lives and then choose to use understanding and knowledge to make practical changes in my *own* life, then I am set up to fail in every area of my life that THEY struggled with in theirs. In marriage. In parenting. In friendships. In working relationships. In character. In faith.

And this is outside of my own issues and areas that I would struggle with anyways. And it applies to *everything*.

Double whoa.

And yikes.

This is on the one hand, a very, very scary prospect.

And on the other... A beautiful opportunity.

Because I don't adhere to the whole, "Can't teach an old dog new tricks." philosophy. That's a bunch of bulls&%t, if you ask me. It might be HARDER to teach an old dog new tricks, but they can learn them! And this dog ain't old enough that she can't learn and learn and learn and keep on learning.

Because I am determined that unless God reaches down from heaven to stop me, my life WILL be different. For the better, hopefully.

I am determined to not live out unhealthy relational dynamics, but instead live in healthy ones. Ones where truth and life and hope flourish. Ones where excellence is the standard. Ones where love - good, hard, aching, growing, giving love - reigns. Ones where we work out the kinks and move on instead of stewing. Ones where our children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren are not STUCK, the way we were. Because we learned.

And so, here I am. Looking to start (Or continue, push forward, keep going... Whatever. You know what I mean.) this journey into learning and change even more than I have ever been. And move out of the cycles of anger, and impatience, and divorce, and fickleness, and fear, and hopelessness, and impossible expectations that have driven so many of the relationships in my life and my marriage.

Yes. It is time.

Have you ever thought about it this way? Am I just covering stuff that's old hat here or what? What do you hope to learn so you can move into change? I'd love to hear!

Monday Reading, A La Tuesday Afternoon

2011-03-22T12:23:00.003-05:00

Good Monday, happy friends! Oh, and happy Purim! It's the perfect day for such a delightful celebration!

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Okay, well, now it's Tuesday, and um... This didn't get posted. Life sometimes gets in the way, you know? But anyway, here is the post that I wrote most of yesterday. Take your time, enjoy it, you deserve it!

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Spring is in full blossom here, and I am so happy for it. There is nothing that quite compares to sunshine and daffodils and the gentle warmth that laces the air in early spring after a cold, cold winter.

There are so many things blooming here. My heart, not the least of them. And... Ideas. Change. Happiness. Reading. The original title of this post was Reading In Full-Bloom... But then it suddenly became Tuesday, and the title needed changing.

Anyway... I really like that original title, because it's so evocative, because it feels cheerful, and because that's really the way it is around here right now!

Lots of growing things going on everywhere.

My last post, the one about living with diabetes, was definitely an example of personal growth. I have rarely, if ever, shared much of what I wrote. And now, it seems like that's all I want to do. I've started and stopped and thought about at least forty-seven different posts about diabetes in the last few days. So there will definitely be more of that coming in the future! I feel as though I'm putting down roots in ways I never have before with regard to living more openly as a diabetic. So... We'll see how it goes.

In unrelated news, things on the home front have smoothed and settled and ruffled and floundered in the last week. Sounds fun, yes? Eh... Yes. For the most part.

But anyway.

KayKay is majorly into ancient Egypt right now, so we've been doing and talking and reading and eating and breathing (I kid you not, and oh! I have a story to tell about the eating part) ancient Egypt. We've watched all the documentaries (thank you, Netflix streaming!). We got and made this mummy-in-a-box thing (which is pretty cool, but doesn't come with quite enough "linen" - read: cotton gauze - so if you get it, be aware) for a VERY GOOD DEAL (at least, compared with the Amazon price!). We've read books and books and MORE books on ancient Egypt. We've gone to dozens of websites - there's a lot of really awesome stuff out there - and we've learned how to write in heiroglyphics. I say "we" here, but it's really mostly KayKay-led learning with the Ladybug and I tagging along for the ride. And I couldn't be more thrilled. This is the first subject that we've done that she's really devoured. I nearly can't keep up with her. *Happy sigh* My heart is happy in this. Yay!

I think I will do a post on what we've done later in the week. There are too many good resources not to share!

The Ladybug is also growing her vocabulary every day. She's at nearly fifty words and counting! We spent the day yesterday making simple vocabulary cards and then putting together interesting sentences. It is a game to her, and we both love it. It feels much more interactive (important for one who is constantly on the go like her) than the chalkboard we have been using. As this goes on, I'll likely write about it on here, if anyone else is interested in what we've been doing and how.

They have both been spending a lot of time outdoors, which makes this mama's heart VERY happy. Although we don't have a yard, we do have a bit of greenery and our neighbors (most of them, at least) are very obliging about sharing their spaces with us, too. I can drink my coffee (or sometimes, as this morning, tea) in peace and listen to them chatter away at everything from the shrubs to the roly-poly bugs they find. Listening to their conversations and the games they come up with is always an eye-openingly hilarious experience, too. Right now they're grunting and making caveman noises at each other, mixed together with a healthy dose of giggling. They've been doing that for the last five minutes, and it's showing no signs of stopping.

I find it fascinating that they find so little to fight about outside, but INSIDE they argue over everything. And I mean E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Dust bunnies and old receipts are *not* exempt from this. And you think I'm kidding... I wish I were.

Anyway. Here is the post that was meant for yesterday. Enjoy, friends!

Books

Okay, so my reading hasn't... Stalled... But I haven't finished *anything* I've been working on. Sad, I know. But this week, it's more been a little ADD. Kind of jumping around to a dozen different things. I think part of that is due to the fact that I recently placed a rather large Amazon book order and, um... I don't know where to start! So I kind of started several of them. Oh, boy.

So here's what we have:

Mathematicians Are People, Too: Stories from the Lives of Great Mathematicians, by Luetta and Wilbert Reimer... I ordered this one for KayKay in the hopes to garner more interest in mathematics. She hasn't read it yet, but I did (at least, most of it). This is a FANTASTIC book. Here is my professional assessment (aren't I smart??) -

Pros: Very nearly everything. The stories are presented clearly, and yet illustrate mathematical principals in very interesting ways. The stories themselves are entertaining and often humorous. The selection of mathematicians is wide and varied. I am very pleased with this purchase.

Cons: The only downside I can see is that in a couple of the stories the principals that are presented are either not fully explained or too complicated for a young reader to fully understand. This is not so important to me because I more want to garner interest in the subject and not necessarily teach those principals that are in the book. However, I can see that there will likely be questions about the different theorems, and I am woefully unprepared, so I think a bit of brushing up on my algebra and geometry are in order. Hopefully I'll be able to work that out so it is agreeable to all involved. Also, this book is not appropriate for a child under the age of seven or eight, or who is not at least reading chapter books. I would say it's written at about a fourth-or-fifth grade level.

Conclusion: I would absolutely recommend this book to any parent or child who might be interested (or even NOT interested, as in our case). I think that it is most appropriate for children ages eight-to-twelve, and that it's worth buying or checking out from the library for the historical lessons as well as the mathematical. There may be more to say about it once KayKay has read it, but in the meantime, I think it's great!

The Book Thief, by Marcus Zusak. I have put down Eat, Pray, Love for a little bit in favor of this fictional account of a young German girl in Nazi Germany. I was thoroughly intrigued by the idea of this book, which is told from the perspective of Death.

Pros: The writing is descriptive and evocative. The story is laid out in an unusual manner, and the characters are colorful and interesting. There is a good sprinkling of German throughout, which I like, often without translation, which I also like. So far, so good.

Cons: The story is laid out in an unusual manner and I'm not certain how I feel about it. The storyline is frequently interrupted, albeit with relevant information, but still it feels disjointed at times. Also, the way in which it is interrupted - sort of newspaper headline-ish, or maybe like telegraphs, I don't know - is somewhat disconcerting.

I haven't come to a conclusion yet. I'll let you know when I'm finished with it, though!

Then there is James Herriot's Treasure For Children: Warm And Joyful Tales For Children. I read All Creatures Great And Small last year (and LOVED IT - review to come!) and was thrilled to find this version for young children on Amazon. So of course I snatched it up.

We will be reading this together soon, methinks. We are still reading Just So Stories, and I, of course, am still in the midst of Eat, Pray, Love AND Beatrix Potter: A Life In Nature (my *own* copy this time, I bought it, YAY!) AND the one I just mentioned (The Book Thief) AND a couple of others that I'm not going to go into (yet!). Whew. That's overwhelming just looking at. But I'm loving it.

So. That's that. Hopefully I'll get DONE with one or two (or twelve) of them this week and can actually write a better review next week. But don't hold your breath.

Links

This is a whole lotta links this week. And not even the half that I wanted to post! I've been going a little book/blog crazy lately, can you tell?

Tiny Poppy Seed 'Tashen: Smitten Kitchen. Well. Since I was supposed to publish this YESTERDAY, it kinda went along with the whole "Happy Purim!" theme (and springtime. Because springtime is for cookies, right?)... But then, this didn't get posted. Argh. But still. These are awesome. Seriously. Uber-tasty. Not that I've ever actually made any, but I sure have EATEN a whole bunch. Yum!

And while we're on recipes, here's another from her:

Whole Wheat Goldfish Crackers: Smitten Kitchen. These are so awesome! And look like they (might) be a fun thing to make with kiddos. Or at least, to EAT with kiddos. Take some time to look around the site while you're over there, because it's fantastic. Smitten indeed.

What Would You Do With A Pot of Gold: Hands For Hope. This small, short, little story really struck me hard. Harder still because I simply *love* what this organization does, and how it allows children and youth to impact those in need. This has been on my heart to do for some time now, and so I was excited to see that others are actually DOING it.

The Ultimate Artist PSA: Create As Folk. I love the truth in this. I love the words: activate, initiate, persist, in relation to creativity.

Keep On Keeping On: Chookooloonks. This is EXACTLY where I stand on what's going on in the world right now. I had a post I was writing about it, and then I read this and thought, "I couldn't say it any better." I may still finish that post, but in the meantime, if you want to know, here you go. (Oh, and this blog is pretty awesome, too.)

In Place of Words: Pastor's Girl's Ponderings. The part where photos take the place of words? Yeah. That's the lesson I need to learn. I am drawn to this post and this blog... Perhaps there is more to learn from here? I don't know, I haven't explored it yet!

Create The Habit: Inspired To Action. Oh, Kat, you've got me again. I was so encouraged by this post, and at the same time, totally recognized my failings in trying to do TOO MUCH when changing and creating habits. Good read!

Why Anne Rice Has Never Been More of A Christian: Huffington Post. This article is searing, real and true. I was blown away by its honesty and really admire Anne Rice for what she said.

Festivus Celebration of Spiritual Art - Potter Mimi Stadler: Motherhood Is Not For Wimps. This is a fantastic look into the life of an artist and into Orthodox Judaism. I love how she brings her art into her life. I love how she sees her work in her studio as an extension of the community she lives in, and what community looks like (like, really love this). Love how ancient symbols become new through her art. And I love how she discusses what it means to be an Orthodox Jew and the importance of the seder and Passover.

Celebrate Festivus: Motherhood Is Not For Wimps. And, in case you're wondering about the title of the above post, this author is doing a whole thing on Festivus (it's kind of a FAQ, but it's pretty hilarious). TOTALLY AWESOME IDEA.

33 Unusual Tips To Being A Better Writer: The Altucher Confidential. This article is hilariously awesome. And I completely agree with (most of) it. There are a couple of little quibbles, but over all, in writing, much of what he says is oh-so-very true. I'm thinking of trying that whole "Take out the first and last paragraph of everything you write." Except here on my blog, there's usually not so much "first and last," am I right? What do you think of these ideas? And on writing in general?

Advice I Want To Tell My Daughters: The Altucher Confidential. I love this post. That is all.

This next site goes hand-in-hand (kind of) with what James Altucher was talking about above (the writing post):

Arts & Letters Daily. This site is really cool. I've already read some great stuff off of here, and I thought I'd share!

Epic Bacon Mac & Cheese Pie: Yummly. A friend of mine posted this on Facebook, and all I can say is, "YES." Oh, bacon. You get me every time.

Homeschooling For Free Or Nearly Free: Heart Of The Matter. This is a fantastic article about what homeschooling can look like outside of a full-curriculum and on a tight budget. And I will completely vouch for the thrift store suggestion, because I've (already) accumulated BAGS of books from the local thrift stores for super cheap. And what makes that even more awesome is that when we're done with them (*if* they are still in decent condition), I can turn around and sell them on Amazon and make a few bucks. WHOOOO.

Adventure Boxes: Heart Of The Matter. What a great idea! I am going to see about coming up with something along these lines for the girls... I'm thinking it could have endless usage, though, aside from simply during summertime. In my mind, this is such a great way to prepare for and do unit studies!

Rainbow Dreams: Gathering Spriggs. Because we all need a dose of beautiful at least once a day.

And lastly, because it's me, go here and try this fun little thing. Brilliant!

Ooooooh, I gotta run, my tea's burning! Later!

The Big D

2011-03-16T21:25:00.001-05:00

Today's post is a loooooong read. Also, be aware that sometimes I write a bit, ehm, tongue-in-cheek, with relation to diabetes. If I don't seem to take it seriously enough, I'm very sorry, but you'll need to find another blog to read for that. Okay, so go read this already and tell me what you think!

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So, like I said I would, I am actually writing a post related to this post from last week. I KNOW. It's kind of like a miracle, right?

Anyway.

So I thought I might as well tackle these in the order that I mentioned them... Or something.

Anyway.

Today's post is not really all that fun for me to write. It's honestly a bit daunting. And not a little intimidating. And scary.

But as I have never been one to let intimidation or scariness get in my way (nor am I easily intimidated, let me tell you), here goes.

I have diabetes. But you already knew that.

What you probably didn't know are the things I'm about to share.

First, some facts:

1. Insulin and blood sugar go hand-in-hand. Insulin is the hormone that your body produces (from your pancreas) to process the foods you eat, turning them into usable substances. Before that can happen, though, your body has to turn those foods into glucose. Insulin is what allows the body's cells to break down and actually USE that glucose.

In a normal person, that glucose is used by the cells in your body through the insulin your body provides before it can get to an unsafe range. In a diabetic, there is little or no insulin for your body to break down the glucose with, so the sugar basically floats around in your blood stream while your cells starve to death. Too much of that glucose in your system also allows for it to turn into alcohol (not good).

Blood sugar (or glucose levels) is the amount of glucose in your system at any given time. Everything you put into your body produces glucose. Except water. And air.

And, for even more fun, your body stores glucose and can sometimes choose to dump it into your system just because. Average blood sugar numbers are between 70-140. But one thing to note about blood sugar - after eating, though, a normal blood sugar reading is basically anything under 200.

Hypoglycemia, or "low" blood sugar is anything under 70. Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) basically means that there is too much insulin in your system and not enough glucose to go around. The effects of low blood sugar can mimic drunkenness. For me, my mind gets fuzzy, I typically have a hard time finding the right words to say what I'm thinking (but that happens a lot anyway! Mommy brain! Ha!), I feel lightheaded or dizzy, and sometimes my fingertips and lips go numb.

Hyperglycemia, or "high" blood sugar is anything above 140, and it is simply the opposite of low blood sugar, in that there is not enough insulin in your system and too much glucose. The effects of high blood sugar are similar to low blood sugar for many people, but for me, they're not at all the same. I usually feel very tired, headachey, nauseated, and am extremely sensitive to everything (and therefore generally tend to turn into witchy-poo until it normalizes).

2. There are TWO kinds of diabetes. The first type is what I have, aptly named, Type 1. It is also called Juvenile Diabetes. It happens for some unknown reason. It does not run in the family. It is highly unlikely that my children will ever develop diabetes. Type 1 has been linked to everything from overloading on sugar at a young age to reactions to immunization. It is a failure of the pancreas. Period. I have my own theories about why I am diabetic, but now is not the time for that. Type 1 cannot be controlled with diet and exercise, although that stuff really does help, and despite one's best efforts, there are times when waking up with unexplained and seriously high blood sugar just happens. My pancreas is useless. It doesn't produce anything. The type of diabetes that I have is this: it is a disease that basically takes a functioning part of your body and turns it into useless extra weight. So you have to take meds. Insulin. All. The. Time. Or you die.

The second type of diabetes, appropriately called, Type 2, tends to run in the family. It typically happens in adults age thirty-five and up, and in those who have an (seriously) unhealthy lifestyle and eating habits. Type 2 tends to occur in those who are overweight and eat a lot of sweets aside from the fact that it generally runs in the family. It often can be controlled by diet and exercise and after that doesn't require medication. That is because in Type 2 diabetics, the pancreas is still functioning somewhat and just needs a kick in the pants. In my personal opinion, Type 2 often happens because the pancreas simply can't constantly produce enough insulin to keep up with the amount of sugar and/or other unhealthy things that are being processed by said person's body, but once they get that under control, the pancreas (usually, but not always) gets all happy again and can keep up.

3. Diabetes is an auto-immune disease. It is related to thyroid disease, among other things. It is also related (hence the name) to the immune system. Which means - YAY - that as a diabetic, my immune system is seriously compromised. I.e., everything my children drag home gets drug out all over my immune system and I spend a lot of time doing fun things like coughing, sneezing and throwing up. Double yay!

4. There is no "real bad" diabetes. It ALL sucks. There are complications. Diabetes is a chronic disease. People throw around the term chronic illness a lot. Like you've been having one cold right after another for the past year, but eventually your immune system will figure it out and everything will be okay. For Type 1 diabetics, it is NOT like that. Diabetes is an ongoing battle, every single minute of every single day. Sadly, it CAN be like that for many Type 2's, but it seems that they often refuse to make the necessary changes for their bodies to naturally deal with insulin resistance.

5. (And what I think may be the most important point here:) Diabetes cannot be separated from my life. No, it doesn't necessarily define me, but it certainly does define a lot of what I do and who I have become. As Kerri's blog, Six Until Me, explains, "Diabetes doesn't define me, but it does help explain me."

In *everything* I do, I have to take into account the fact that I am diabetic. Everything reminds me of the fact that I wear this disease like an item of clothing that I can neither remove nor mend to make it presentable.

Diabetes is the dirty and tattered rags of an imperfect body that I wear. And every day, in almost every THING I do, I am reminded that I wear them.

I am reminded by my coffee in the morning.

I am reminded with every single bite of food that goes in my mouth.

When I snap at the kids because my blood sugar is high, I am reminded.

I am reminded every time I leave the house and everywhere I go because I have to bring all my "paraphenalia" along.

I am reminded by the fact that I don't wear certain types of clothing because it's simply too difficult to wear them.

Each year, when I am sick more often and for longer than most people I know, I am reminded.

Packing my suitcases around all the supplies I have to bring when I travel, I am reminded.

Untangling the tubes of my insulin pump from wherever they've wrapped themselves around me at least three times each night, and I am reminded.

When I have to change my pump site, prick my fingers, pick up my insulin in an unending line at Walgreens, go to the doctor every other week to make sure everything is "okay," or take forty minutes sitting on the floor of a grocery store recovering from a low blood sugar, I am everlastingly reminded.

There is no activity that I do that doesn't serve in some way to remind me that I bear this disease the way some women bear children... Except that there is no relief. There is no birth, no joy of new beginnings. It is just the being swollen and full-to-bursting and uncomfortable and hormonal in a constant and unending cycle of wake-check-inject-sleep.

And yes, since I know you're probably wondering, even sex doesn't escape unscathed. Sex is an even more interesting feat when a bleeping pump and forty-two feet of plastic tubing and, of course - let's not forget it - low blood sugar is involved. Or maybe you weren't wondering. And now you are simply to traumatized by the idea to even continue reading. But you know, I figured it would come up eventually, and I should share in the interests of full-disclosure and everything.

So ANYWAY, as they say, "The show must go on!"

And OH! The guilt. The guilt of it all. The try-and-fail of every day with this disease.

The responsibility, the heaps-upon-heaps of "Do this, do that, do these other forty things and maybe you'll live until you're 50."

The weight of it, the judgment, the looks, overbearing doctors and pitying nurses and the surprised and shocked looks - "YOU have diabetes????" And most of the time, my heart answers like this: "Why yes. Yes, I do. It is *forever*, and you know NOTHING about what it is like. So go away and leave me alone to eat my chocolate in peace and STOP JUDGING ME."

But the nice me doesn't do much but nod my head and move on.

The scare tactics, the pity, the "Oh, I know someone who was diabetic and they died." (Note: This link is how I found Kerri's blog. I cried when I read it. This has happened and continues to happen ALL. THE. TIME. And until I read this, I just thought it was something about me that caused people to say the things they did.)

The aloneness. Did you know that until three months ago, I did not know another single person with diabetes? Let alone, Type 1. The ONE person I now know is six years old. And I can do nothing but encourage him. I have no friends with diabetes. I've met a few in passing, but there is no one to talk to who "has been there." in this particular area of my life. Type 1 Diabetes is a lonely disease.

There are support groups, yes, but honestly, I wouldn't even know how to get plugged into them, and I don't even know if I would *want* to.

So there you have it, all messy and out in the open. Just the way I like it.

But I won't deny it: this was a scary post to write. And not without emotion. I have never spoken most of these words to anyone. And now they are out in the great, wide internet for God and everybody to read.

And sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy?

Just look at this post.

Monday Reading, The I'm Ready For Spring Edition

2011-03-14T22:51:00.001-05:00

Good Monday, friends.

Today was grey and gloomy, but air smells earthy and green, and the trees are dressing themselves in their pale and delicate ball gowns - resplendent in bloom - and suddenly, I know... I'm really ready for spring time. Are you?

But anyway, right now what I really want to know is this: WHY is it that Mondays seem to sneak up on me each week? It's not like I don't know it's coming. Seriously.

And worse, all week I'm keeping my eyes and ears open for things to put in this post!

So here it is, Monday evening, and I haven't written a word... But all that's about to change.

Ahem.

So anyway.

This last week has been interesting. I've done a lot of reading (and you're thinking, "So what else is new?" but it really is quite a lot!), then sort of found a new groove (in my own life - the Daddy thinks I've been replaced by a Stepford wife or something because the house is actually mostly clean MOST of the time), been plugged back in to the local farmer's markets after being rather out-of-the-loop for the last couple of months, met some amazing new friends, and wrote this post which has started me down a path of posts that I'm excited about writing. Yay!

In other news, I'm currently listening to the Daddy play a game with the girls and there's much giggling and screeching - it's a glow-in-the-dark game for kids about vampires and garlic (it's also hilarious and FYI, I am *completely* horrible at it). I'm betting on the Ladybug winning, she's got skills.

We are not going to be taking a "spring break" so-to-speak in our household, I'm thinking. All the "breaking" to be had was in January, and you know, I'm honestly considering the benefits of (mostly) year-round schooling, at least while we're homeschooling. Thoughts, anyone? I'd love to hear if anyone else does this - I know of one person who does this, and it seems to work well for them, but we've not actually talked about it.

That having been said, today was completely and utterly useless for anything even remotely resembling traditional schooling. However, time outside and ~~slave-driver-Mommy-makes-the-children-clean~~ the domestic arts were highly favored.

As well as informal drama. Hours of informal drama. Actually, I kind of live in an informal drama class most of the time. I wonder if I could count all the hours spent amidst screaming and wailing and gnashing of teeth and apply them toward an "extracurricular activity"? I mean, seriously, that's gotta be worth at least two full weeks' worth of school time so far! And think of all the practice she's getting! How will she know how to be utterly dejected and completely miserable without all the PRACTICE???

Not that I have any idea where she might get a flair for the dramatic or anything.

And, just for a fun mention, we had another spider episode today. This time both of them came screaming and dancing and bawling and careening down the stairs, although the Ladybug didn't even know WHY she was screaming and running, just that sister had done it, so it MUST be important and scary.

KayKay was convinced that it was a "giant mutant black widow" grown big enough to "suck my brains out." Can we say, ACTIVE IMAGINATION? Mix that up with her current (and reigning) title of Drama Queen, and if the child doesn't have a career in Hollywood awaiting her, I'll be mightily surprised.

And even better... This time, the spider was already dead. Seriously. I hit it with a shoe for good measure, while they both stared at me from up high and far away ('cause you know, it might suddenly sprout wings and try to fly at them to suck their brains out) and threw it in the toilet. Which completely grossed the Ladybug out for some bizarre reason.

RIP, little spider friend. I'm sure you probably died of fright from the screeching. Unless it was the dancing. Oh, well. Enjoy spider heaven with all your other relatives.

And speaking of spider heaven - in actual, REAL heaven, I really hope there are not spiders. Otherwise me and God are going to need to have a conversation. Because that I *really* won't understand.

Anyway.

We also went to see Tangled today at the local dollar theater. I wasn't so sure about this Disney movie after seeing the original trailer for it, but OH! it was SO GOOD. And so funny!! I am so glad we went to see it! I am totally Rapunzel in so many ways. I haven't ever so closely identified (besides absolutely wanting to BE one of them, HELLO!) with any of the Disney princesses before now. I don't really know what that says about me, but whatever. She's pretty and funny and has spunk and a great personality and big dreams. If that's me, then I'm happy, whatever my other flaws may be (although I'm sure to work on them!). Here's a clip:

So anyway. That was totally fun.

Now. On to reading. Yay!

Books

Okay, so here's the deal: I've got several books going right now, so I can't give a total rundown of any of them (except one, and I wasn't really even going to mention it on here), but there are several that I've read in the last year that I've been desperate to share with anyone who'll listen (I LOOOOOOVE to talk about books I've read or am reading!), so today I'm going to share one of those - in addition to general stuff about the other books I'm currently reading.

So first: I picked up Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert at a thrift store a couple of weeks ago. I'm not generally a New York Times Bestseller kinda girl, because really, it kinda feels cliched to me... I wouldn't mind WRITING a New York Times Bestseller, but I don't really read them. In fact, the last one I read was well-on a decade ago. Discovering that this is an OLD bestseller makes me feel some better about it, though. But ANYWAY.

I started it. And I totally admit, I love it. It's a little new-agey for my tastes (I don't adhere to the whole "God is in everything, God is everything, the Universe is God." yada-yada. God is God. But whatever, this is not a post about my theology.), but her writing style is totally my speed and she's got an excellent sense of describing places and people and scenarios in exciting and interesting ways. And I simply *adore* the way she talks about food (I'm in the Italy section right now). It's an utterly perfect account of an altogether imperfect woman who asks all the hard questions of herself and doesn't always like (or understand) the answers. And it's messy and REAL. Love it.

Now, I haven't gotten to India or Indonesia yet, and so, I may change my mind by the time I finish with the book, but at this point, I am enchanted. For the first part, I give it two thumbs up. Best ninety-nine cents I've spent in a good long while. We'll see how the rest goes.

I also sped my way through a young-adult fiction book called Loving Will Shakespeare, by Carolyn Meyer. So...

Cons: The whole "Shakespeare" aspect that kinda left it wanting. I had much higher hopes for it. The story was an entirely fictionalized account of the life of William Shakespeare's (older-than-he) estranged wife, Anne... But the Will Shakespeare wasn't much of a character in this book - there wasn't much Will to love, if that makes sense. The story didn't gel until the last thirty-or-so pages, and there needed to be more of it in order to make the read worth it, in my opinion. It was also a little adult for young-adult fiction, whether the word "adult" is in there or not... Not that it was all that racy, but there are several scenes where physical intimacy is either discussed or alluded to or happens outright (no details are given, though, thank goodness!).

Pros: As historical fiction goes, it is obvious that Ms. Meyer did her research thoroughly. There was a very good sense of the place and time period. The mood and feel for the period is impeccably written. The characters are pretty well-developed, and Anne's story is pretty engrossing. If it were not entangled with the name Shakespeare, it would have been much more satisfying of a read, and if you can put that part aside, it is a good book.

Conclusion: It was kinda... Meh. Don't get me wrong, as a book, it wasn't bad. It simply didn't live up to my expectations. I'd give it two-and-a-half or three stars.

Then there's Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories. You may be horrified to learn that I had never even heard of this book until my equally horrified (and utterly delightful) friend Collette found out and bought it for me on the spot.

I have since been reading it to myself (at night) and aloud to the girls (during the day). All three of us are utterly and completely captivated. When I finish it, I will give a complete analysis, but for now let me just say that it will have a happy and well-loved home on our bookshelf for the remainder of our days.

Okay, so now the book I mentioned in the beginning - the one I finished a while back. This one is one I had wanted to read for some time now, and finally ordered it off of Amazon because I KNEW that it was going to become a part of my permanent library... And it is:

In My Hands, by Irene Gut Opdyke. This is an unbelievable book. It is the story of a Holocaust rescuer in her own words. Irene was a beautiful young Polish woman when the Nazis came into Poland, and she risked her life to help those that she could help, rather than standing by and watching it all happen. It is a beautiful, powerful story that needs to be known. I am not going to spend an over-long time discussing it, but here is the breakdown:

Cons: Very few, to be honest. My one word of caution: this is not a book to be used for younger readers just learning about the Holocaust. It is a *fantastic* story, but an edited version of her story should be communicated to younger middle-school and high-school children. There are some very adult themes that are addressed in the book, in particular about her sexual relationship with a Nazi officer, and while there are not very many details given, it is not something that needs to be shared with younger ones, nor is it something all parents will want even their older children reading about. There may be a for-school version out there that I haven't seen, so you might look to see if you really want your child to read about her.

That having been said...

Pros: Oh, my, where to begin? The writing is excellent and the story is beyond compelling. In my opinion, it simply doesn't get much better than that. In the literature about the Holocaust, this is one of those few, shining books that tells a story of hope. It is easy to get lost in the horror of the Holocaust, and also easy to want to see only the "good" things that happened, but this book is a balance - Irene Gut Opdyke bravely does great good in her life, but at a personal cost. And although it is, so-to-speak, an outsider's view (because she is not a survivor), she tells quite plainly of what she saw being done to the Jews of Poland during World War II.

Conclusion: This is a MUST-READ for anyone serious about learning more about the Holocaust, or anyone who wants to teach about the Holocaust. Her story is one that must be told, and helps put into perspective that not all Poles were anti-Semites (it can seem so at times because, unfortunately, a great many were and still are). It also is a fantastic moral story about hard choices, as well as what it means to actively choose right and righteousness in the face of great and pervasive evil.

So that's my book list (and oh, there are more, but I'm trying to keep it short!) for this week. On to links!

Links

This has been a fun week for links. Lots of people, like me, who are *ready* for spring to be here!

We're Going On A Colour Hunt: The Imagination Tree. While I think this post is for littler ones than what I have, I think it's a fantastic idea - and might be fun with bigger ones, too! I love the rainbow!

Rainbow Play-Dough: Tinker Lab. Again with the rainbows! So fun. I have never yet made homemade play-dough, and I think it may finally be time. The girls would love it, I know!

Cinnamon Roll French Toast: Clutzy Cooking. While this is COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY *NOT* on my list of foods I should EVER eat... I'm suddenly greatly desiring to make this. NOT HEALTHY. *Sigh* Although of course, I would like to actually make my own homemade cinnamon rolls to make the French toast out of. So maybe I could *try* to make it somewhat more healthy? Hmmmm. And total yum! My mouth is watering at the thought.

Tax Breaks Vs. Budget Cuts Infographic: AmericanProgress.org. To break with the theme: not springy at all. And definitely thought-provoking. And while I am not going to go into my own personal politics here, I will say, this infographic (shared by a friend via Facebook, the ultimate source of all knowledge necessary to the world-at-large) was hugely disturbing to me. Ugh. I really despise a lot of what happens in D.C.

Ten Ways To Get Rid of Cabin Fever: Momtastic. I wish I had read this earlier in the day. We had some of that going on. Great ideas!

Separating The Makers From The Followers: Scoutie Girl. I think someone I know posted this, but I'm not certain. However, what I *am* certain of is that this is a FANTASTIC read. Totally worth the time!

Skipping Meals Can Make You Healthier: Wellness Mama. This is a really interesting post and sheds some light on how skipping a meal or doing a short fast can really help your body.

Is There A Fairy In The House? A Kid's Garden Fairy House: Pink And Green Mama. Oh, MY. Do I love this. Do I totally daydream about having one of these for myself (the girls would have to have their own!). We may have to try our hands at making one. It is too delightful!

Brenna's Book Fabric Page: Design Sponge. And speaking of making, this would be an awesome project to do with kids because it's easy and versatile. This is one that *I* personally can really get into. (You know me, the easier, the better!) So I actually think I'm going to go to Goodwill simply to buy a couple of books that we can tear up!

Credit Card Art: Housing A Forest. Oh yes. And THIS one, too. So totally easy. SO TOTALLY FUN. (And no, I'd never heard of this, either!)

And just to keep you off-balance and keep it interesting, I have to throw in a couple of DIY decorating projects like these:

Pottery Barn Distressed Clock Knock-Off: Creative Juices Decor. This is SO AWESOME. I need this woman to make me one, because A) I don't have the time, B) I don't have that kind of mad painting skills, and C) I don't have all the awesome spray paint and supplies to even TRY to have the skills. But seriously, SIX BUCKS??? Wow.

Yes, Please, I'll Take This Chandelier: A Little Bit of Sanity And A Lot of Chaos. Again with the total awesomeness. And again with the, "I totally need you to make me one of these." But I'm definitely feeling inspired!

And last, something beautiful. Because I love beauty. And love to share. And love Etsy.

So that's that. G'night, friends. Happy reading. Happy Monday!

Close Encounters of the Arachnid Kind

2011-03-11T20:02:00.001-06:00

So.

We had an episode today.

It was interesting, to say the least.

As you may have guessed, it has to do with spiders. Yay.

While I don't automatically kill EVERY spider I see and generally wish them no ill when they are not crawling on me, I don't get all warm and fuzzy when they slink toward me with their eight prickly toes.

I used to be deathly afraid of them, but no longer. I have become one of the enlightened, realizing that I would MUCH rather share my home or other space with spiders than with any of the other creepy-crawlies out in the world. I mean, think about it, they EAT other bugs. I'm totally on board with that.

Anyway.

So this morning, we are all piled in the car at some unholy hour taking the Daddy to work. The Daddy is driving. I am drowsing in the front seat, longing for coffee. The girls are quiet in the backseat, quietly thinking little girl thoughts. It is a peaceful drive.

And then suddenly down into my vision slides something crawly. And it's not apparently attached to anything in the car. But it IS perilously close to attaching itself to my knee.Which I do *not* want.

So I calmly ask the Daddy if he will verify that it is, indeed, a spider making its swinging, careening way down a silken thread toward my knee.

He verifies. I require, rather than ask, that he (although he is driving, and YES, I KNOW this is completely and utterly ridiculous of me) dispose of the spider in any way that he deems desirable.

Now, let me just clarify here: THERE WAS NO HYSTERIA ON MY PART.

There was a bit of "Ewww, GROSS!" going on when he smacked it against the glove compartment and then proceeded to wipe the smashed spider guts on my pants. Seriously. Ewwww. Thanks, Daddy.

But as soon as the word, spider, came out of my mouth, KayKay was on high alert. It was like we'd darted her with adrenaline. Hysteria GALORE.

She immediately screeched, "Spider?!?!?! WHERE?!?!?!"

Followed by, "It's not BACK HERE, is it???? Are you SURE??? Where is it? Are you sure it didn't run back here and isn't going to suck out my brains through my ear canal in a second??? Where is the SPIDER??? WHAT HAPPENED TO IT??? I thought I saw it!! Is it still up front? Are you CERTAIN it's not coming back here to crawl up my butt and lay its freaky spider eggs???? Where did it GO???? Oh my goodness, there's a SPIDER!!! The world is coming to an end!!! Look, I saw something move!!! Are you SURE FOR CERTAIN AND POSITIVE it's absolutely DEAD???"

And on. And on. AND ON.

We *finally* managed to convince her that the spider was, indeed, dead, and that there would be no more spider episodes in the car for a good long time or forever, whichever was longer.

And I mean, FINALLY. It took the entire drive to convince her. (The spider had showed up in the first minute or two of our fifteen minute drive.)

Fast forward ten minutes.

The Daddy has been dropped off, and we've just entered the stream of traffic known as I-40. From the backseat I hear an ear-shattering scream worthy of ANY horror movie.

Fortunately, I learned to drive with my mother, and (most of the time) have nerves of steel when it comes to screaming in the car.

I think you know what's coming, right?

YEP.

Yet ANOTHER unfortunate spider came out of the woodwork and took the wrong route, right in KayKay's face.

The whole car was practically rocking with her hysterical flailing and flinging and screaming. She was certain it was in her coat, crawling up her leg and sliding down her butt-crack all at the same time.

All I could do was laugh. The screaming didn't do it, but the laughing... There I nearly had to pull over. Which is exactly what she wanted me to do so that she could jump out and do a spider dance, but I wouldn't.

My poor child. I'm more than likely going to have to pay for many years of therapy.

The Big Three

2011-03-10T21:40:00.002-06:00

So, I've been thinking (I do that a lot).

And I've come to realize that in two years of being in the blogging world (but really only one of actual BLOGGING), I've never really set out to explain who I am, why I want to blog, and what I am passionate about on here.

I think part of that is due to the fact that most of you, my few, wonderful, and oh-so-very dear readers, know the "real" me, so there's no need to explain. You already KNOW.

But after thinking about it, I think that it's important that I share some of these things on here, whether you know them or not.

The who I am part can wait. I haven't even figured that one out yet. I'll let you know when (more like IF!) I do.

The why I want to blog part is pretty straightforward: I'm a writer at heart, I have TONS of stories to tell (because I have loads of wacky things happen all around me every day. Just ask the Daddy, he says I attract bizarreness.), and I love my kids and want to record some of what they do in a format that will actually allow me to remember in my older, more senile, years.

So, that leaves the passions.

Yikes. That's a doozy.

I'm kinda-sorta-maybe super-passionate about EV-ER-Y-THING, or just kinda "Meh." about it all.

It's like this - when the Daddy and I first started dating, he asked me what my favorite color was, and I responded: "Oh, periwinkle! And, um, sea green. Oh! And that wonderful cantaloupe orange-y color. And violet, which is like periwinkle, but more purple. And aqua. I LOOOOOOOOOOVE aqua!"

To which the Daddy, being the Daddy, responded, "You do know what the meaning of the word favorite is, right?"

I *love* color. Almost ALL the colors. There are very few that I don't like. But, that being said, the few that are truly near and dear to my heart surround me every day in our home. They're my favorite FAVORITES.

And so it is with many part of my life. I have a lot of "favorites." But the really stand-out ones... There are not quite so many of those.

There are really three. Three things of nearly equal importance in my life.

In no particular order:

The first is being diabetic. Not the diabetes part, though. The part where I have learned about nutrition, health, insurance companies, eating habits, whole foods, regulating my intake, and how who I am is often dictated by what I eat because I AM A DIABETIC AND DIABETES AFFECTS E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

I'm not passionate about diabetes. I pretty much loathe this disease. But I cannot deny that I have learned some major lessons about life through it, and by the grace of God, have lived to tell the tale. And that makes me passionate about knowing (and hopefully, one day, actually implementing ALL the knowledge I have) as much as possible about all the things I just listed... Foods, eating, nutrition, health, the medical industry, insurance, supplements, etc.

So yeah. That's one.

Then there's Holocaust and Jewish studies. Not your typical, run-of-the-mill subject matter, I know. But it's my THING. Seriously.

There are a lot of really interesting and convoluted reasons for this love of all things Judaic, and particularly Holocaust studies, but I won't get into them now. Suffice it to say, I am this close to converting.

Sad as it may sound, it's kind of the bacon that's holding me back. I almost wish I'd never eaten pig before, because GOODNESS... Pigs are so tasty! I mean, honestly, how could God create an animal that is SO CLEARLY meant to be chopped up and consumed in any number of delightfully delicious ways... And then decree that it is unclean and must not be eaten???? *Sigh* That one, I really don't understand.

But Jews, Jewishness, Jewish identity, the Holocaust, Holocaust education, Holocaust Survivors... Oh, WOW. I could talk about these things for hours. HOURS. Days, even. (And you think I kid... But no, it's true. I'd talk to a tree if it told me it was Jewish.)

So there's that. (And it's kind of a big that, as many of you already know.)

And then there's my family. The Daddy, the girlies. The stuff of my heart. I told a friend recently that relationships are what the foundations of the world are made up of. Nothing else matters as much as the state of our relationships - with God, with our families, with our friends, with ourselves, with the world at large... NOTHING.

Which is why I started blogging to begin with. To kind of chart these relationships in a concrete way.

So there's the big three. In three words: health, Holocaust, relationships.

And then there are the ancillary favorites, the sideline passions that still get me excited... Photography. Writing. Cooking and baking (my business included, though it has been feeling neglected lately, but that is another story for another time). Reading. Educating - myself, my children, and anyone else who might be around. GAMES (oh, just wait 'till I get to this one!). Jewelry. Interior design. Ideas.

I started blogging because I wanted a place to throw down my thoughts and ideas. To tell my stories (although I have so many, I can't seem to keep up with writing them!). To share who I am. At least, the parts that I've kinda sorta figured out. And to take the journey of discovering more through this unique medium.

And I've done a little of that, but not enough. So over the next couple of weeks (for realz!), I'm going to start blogging some of my stories about The Big Three, and why I think they are important - not only for me, but for everybody. And no, you'll never love my kids as much as I do, but maybe what I tell you about them might make you think. Or laugh. Or both.

And that's kind of the point, isn't it?

So. Your turn. What're your Big Three?

Monday Reading, The I'm Feeling Slightly Overwhelmed Edition

2011-03-07T21:47:00.000-06:00

Anyone else know that feeling?

Yeah, me, too. Welcome to the club my friends.

It's not that I have so much to do, it's more that the day's already more than half gone, and I haven't yet finished half of what I'm SUPPOSED to do today. Including this post.

So, yeah. Overwhelmed a bit.

In other news, I'm thinking about writing a book entitled, "How to Bring Peace to Your Home By Hanging Your Children Upside-Down By Their Toenails for Fifteen Minutes a Day." I think it could be a national bestseller, right???

Seriously, if it was that easy, we'd ALL be hanging upside-down by our toenails for at least fifteen minutes a day.

But anyway.

It's already MARCH. Yikes. Seems as though the days and weeks and months are flying faster than ever.

KayKay is steadily progressing in her work, and despite fairly frequent meltdowns, we seem to be settling into a groove. And even better, she's really learning. A LOT. I can see forward movement, and it is simply awesome. That could the hormone-induced, total-drug-trip-type euphoria from the last fifteen minutes of sweet, blessed silence speaking, though.

In other words: don't hold me to it. Tomorrow I may want to run screaming from the house.

But anyway.

I don't think I've mentioned this, but the Ladybug is READING. I know! I KNOW!! It's hard to believe. And, she basically started it on her own, and after just a couple of weeks, she's learned about thirty or forty words. She can read simple sentences, and is starting to put together her own. Best of all, she *loves* it, and thinks that learning to read is great fun. Totally counting that blessing!

So. Now that it's like seven hours later and the childrens are finally in bed and I'm ready to go curl up next to them, I'll finish this thing. On to reading!

Books

So, last week I wrote about The Scarlet Stockings, and I must revise my original statement about mature younger readers being able to handle this one... I finished the last twenty-or-so pages, and in them are some further mature themes about Daphne's biological mother, rejection and self-hatred. Included are a few colorful (although not what I consider awful or blasphemous) phrases scattered through some intensely emotional moments.

Conclusion: I WOULD NOT recommend this book for a child under the age of 14. Also, the ending is a bit rushed and leaves some questions unanswered, besides being utterly unrealistic. I will also be editing last week's Reading to include this information.

This week, I've read a bit more in the short-story collection of How to Fit a Car Seat on a Camel, and it is, in a word, simply awesome. At some point, I will actually share one of the stories on here, I think (or at least, part of one), but if you have the opportunity, and you are a mommy of any kind, I can't recommend it highly enough. Sometimes, it's just good to giggle at someone else's mishaps with the knowledge that at least it's not you.

I also devoured a delightful little children's book called The Adventures of Nanny Piggins, by R. A. Spratt. Now, this is not your typical children's book. To begin with, Nanny Piggins is indeed, a pig. And she is not only a nanny, but she is a former circus pig of great fame and renown.

Reading Nanny Piggins is an adventure in and of itself. It is the story of a pig and three children. The children are those of a skinflint lawyer, a Mr. Green, who would like nothing more than to be rid of them, but because that might cast an unfavorable light upon his character, he suffers through their presence. Their mother has died, and their father the lawyer, being everlastingly cheap, ends up hiring a pig in the form of Nanny Piggins to be their nanny. And oh! What happens after that is utter hilarity.

But I'll start with the cons: Nanny Piggins is NOT a role model. She basically allows the children to do anything and everything imaginable. The author pokes great fun at this in her witty, but be aware.

The children are allowed to read trashy novels (although there is no explanation given as to what a "trashy" novel is), watch horror movies to ensure that they don't sleep (thus also ensuring that they stay up all night playing games), and eat candy or cakes or whatever else is sweet for breakfast, lunch, and dinner each and every day. Nanny Piggins is also rather imprudent with money, and inexperienced in the world at large. And she is an habitual liar. However. In my opinion, the author does a good job reinforcing the fact that these are *not* traits that children should emulate.

There is also the fact of the dear (note the sarcasm) Mr. Green's atrocious behaviour toward his children. And a couple of scenes involving arson (although this is addressed directly in the footnotes, of which this book has quite a few).

Lastly, the childrens' characters are not quite as fully-developed as I would have liked to see in the book. The book is truly about Nanny Piggins, and in thinking about it, the children are there mostly to reinforce the strength of her character.

Now for the pros: The writing is fantastic, firstly. The author is Australian, which, in her writing, creates a pleasing blend of British and American phrases and humour. The use of language and descriptive words in the book is a joy, too.

Second, the sheer ridiculousness of Nanny Piggins' and the childrens' adventures should delight most children, even young readers (or listeners) as young as four or five. The story moves briskly and never takes itself (or anything else) too seriously.

As I mentioned earlier, R. A. Spratt, does seem to take pains to highlight the fact that Nanny Piggins does a great many things that are not right or quite good for children (and adults), and I definitely appreciate that.

The children are, just that, children, and don't try to be anything more (which I appreciate in this instance). And they all seem to be fairly level-headed and have a good dose of common sense, despite Nanny Piggins' complete lack of it.

And then we get to Nanny Piggins herself. Nanny Piggins' character is unexpectedly refreshing, not to mention completely hilarious. I love her utter audacity, her brilliance, her unequivocal love of all things unhealthy, her shrewd and calculating ability to size up any situation and make it work for her, her generous spirit. She actually greatly reminds me of someone I know and love dearly (and a little bit myself, too), which made me laugh all the harder at some of the craziness that takes place in the books. It was almost as though I'd lived some of it.

Conclusion: This is a book that simply BEGS to be read aloud. The storyline is perfect for it, and in reading it to your children there will be plenty of fantastic opportunities to have teaching moments about all sorts of important subjects like eating habits, lying, keeping your word, treating others with kindness even when you really don't like them, thinking things through, etc. Despite the fact that Nanny Piggins does everything to the contrary of what I and most parents in the world might do, I highly recommend this book. At the very least, check it out from the library and read it yourself. It is too fun to miss!

I am actually doing some reading in other books, but I am not going to include them this week. So sorry. I'll get to them next week!

And on to links... Yay!

Links

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not Catholic.

And yet.

Tomorrow is Shrove Tuesday, and then it's Ash Wednesday, and now I'm thinking about Lent.

Not like, "Oh, Lent is here, whoo, it'll be Easter soon." But instead, "Oh. Lent is here. Maybe I should do something."

Uh-oh. Remember that post that I wrote about making change and truth - real truth - revealing itself? Yeah. I think this might be part of it.

Now, I have NO IDEA what I might *do* for Lent (YET! I still have time!!), but... I have been doing some reading. I think, somehow, I am drawn to the idea of sacrificing some portion of my life as a way of honoring God.

It's so easy to be comfortable all the time. Change is slow in coming, for me, at least. And I am lulled by complacency and comfort. But to willingly choose to sacrifice complacency and comfort for Adonai, ah! My character certainly could use the refining, even in small things.

Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam, boreh p'ri ha'gafen. Omaine.

So all that to say that several of the links this week are centered around Lent.

So, on we go.

Giving Up Narcissism For Lent: Eat From Your Pantry. Wow, this is a good one. And I love how she ties it in to prayer for her son.

Make-It-Yourself-Monday, Cream Cheese: Eat From Your Pantry. Another one from her, and WOW, I had no idea that cream cheese was so easy to make!!! I'm *totally* going to try this! I completely admit that my tree-hugger-hippy-commune roots are showing here, but still. Love it. (And just do a quick google search on the uses for the leftover whey. WHOA. Awesome. Totally tree-hugger-hippy-commune.)

Lent 2010: The Chicken Coop. I love what she says here about the mother and her sacrifice of sleep. Whew. That one stopped me in my tracks... I'm actually considering it.

I Said NO! And It's Okay!: The Unplugged Mom. This is a loooong read, but oh-so-very good!!

Rock On!: Chicken Nugget Lemon Tooty. I LOVE THIS POST. And I now must watch Exit Through The Gift Shop and completely emulate this poster and his family. SUCH A COOL IDEA. That is all.

The Futility of Comparison, Homeschooling Style: Harmony Art Mom. This is a great article about being who you are as a family. Love.

Trouble Sleeping? Detoxing? Try Epsom Salts!: Health, Home & Happiness. This is a very interesting (and short) little article about the potential benefits of epsom salts (which I am already a fan of). Further cemented my position, for sure.

Parenting Your Polar Opposite: Steady Mom. Now, while I don't consider either of my children my polar opposite, I can completely relate to what the author wrote in this post. So good.

Encouraging Children To Embrace Lifestyle Change: SimpleMom. Ooooh, this is a *really* good one. And so timely, because neither of my children likes change. And neither do I all that much, for that matter!

Parenting Difficult Emotions; Improving Myself For My Son: Fabulous Mama Chronicles. Although this author's baby is still that - a baby - she throws out some REALLY VALID POINTS about changing ourselves for the betterment of our children. Heavy, deep, and awesome. I really appreciate her openness and I can really identify with a lot of what she says. Good!

Okay, it's been fun and all, but it's bedtime. G'night! Enjoy your reading!

The Ladybug Makes A Confession

2011-03-06T21:46:00.000-06:00

So.

The other night I'm on Facebook, doing Facebook things, and I come across a friend whose profile pic had just been changed. Normal, right?

Right. Happens all the time. No big.

It's a photo of this friend's baby and a man whom I assume is a mutual friend.

So I went on to comment because it's a particularly awesome photo, taken by a particularly awesome photographer, whom I greatly admire.

And that's where the fun starts.

While I was commenting, the Ladybug wanders over to see what I'm doing.

Actually, let me rephrase that.

While I was commenting, the Ladybug spied the photo from ACROSS THE ROOM and came BOUNDING over to the couch bubbling over with excitement and the giggles. "Who's that???" She immediately demands. I tell her I have no idea, because honestly, I do not know. Well, I know the baby, but only peripherally.

But before I can even finish saying, "I don't know." she's already moved on to, "Do you think HE'S MARRIED?"

Well, then.

I glance over at her from the corner of my eye and kind of laugh. She immediately turned bright red and clapped her hands over her mouth.

So I ask, "The baby? Do you want to know if the baby is married?"

"NO, Mommy! The man." She pointed at him on the screen.

ALRIGHTY THEN.

And A MAN is definitely what he is. A big, burly, muscular MAN. And my five-year-old is half in love with him. She wouldn't let me move the screen from this photo for a good five minutes. She even held my hands down so I couldn't move. And sat there staring and giggling and blushing like he was making big, burly, man-ish googoo eyes right back at her.

Photo by Zack Arias.

Ummmm. She's FIVE. Up until now, her only crush was the cow at the local Chic-fil-A. Oh, and my mother's male goat.

She's apparently upgraded.

I'm definitely not ready for this. God help me.

Monday Reading, The Squirrel Has Left The Building Edition...

2011-02-28T21:16:00.001-06:00

So.

It's been A DAY.

And by that, I mean that I feel as though I have been hit by a Mack truck which then backed up a good ways and hit me again. And again. And again.

Why is it on the nights that I am guaranteed only six hours of sleep at most, that those are the nights when my children MUST have nightmares and/or ten thousand pee breaks... ALL NIGHT LONG??

In case you're wondering, last night was one of those nights.

Then I got to drive through pouring rain the likes of which I've rarely seen (and that's saying something for this Florida girl, because it rains cats and dogs down there ALL THE TIME) to be a half an hour late to my FOUR HOUR LONG DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT. I love the allergist's office. Yay.

They poked me with red-hot metal pokers for a good long while, roasted me over a spit, pronounced me done, and let me go with a swollen and inflamed arm or two and the happy news that I'm only allergic to pretty much everything in the outside world.

The good news is that I'll get my own custom bubble delivered here pretty soon.

And I'm not allowed to vacuum anymore. I even have a doctor's note that literally says, "Do not vacuum. Have someone else vacuum for you." It's awesome. There's always a silver lining, right?

So after all that fun and excitement I went to grab some food and shove it down like a starving baby chick sucking down regurgitated worms (seriously, I hardly even remember how it tasted)... After which I headed back to my car to discover... A parking ticket! Double yay.

Wait... What??? The last time I parked in that lot (maybe a month ago?) it wasn't a pay-to-park lot. What the heck?!?!?

Then, the icing on the cake.

On the way to pick up the girls (again, in the everlasting RAIN)... The long-awaited day has come. I hit a squirrel.

I've been waiting for it to happen ever since I was in Oregon some time ago and wrote this post.

As soon as I saw him, beady little eyes and fuzzy little tail, I knew it was too late. I think he knew it too. And you know that stomach-jarring lurch that cars make when they hit potholes? Yeah... The back tires did that lurch-y thing. And my stomach with it. Especially my stomach.

And to make matters worse, he was still... *Whisper* Alive. Commence with the squeaking and squealing and crying and all sorts of guilt-ridden whimpering. OH, THE GUILT.

I would've gone all Dr. Kavorkian on him, but I simply couldn't bear the thought of it.

Fortunately for me, my dear friend, the irrepressible mistress of all things Mother Earth (at least mostly), Olivia had this piece of encouraging advice for me: "Oh, don't worry, Kristen, something will come along to eat him soon enough and he'll be put out of his misery."

Um, love you O, but that's not quite as cheering as you might imagine.

When she saw my look, she changed it to, "Oh, don't worry Kristen, you severed his spinal cord and he DIDN'T FEEL A THING."

Um, yeah. Still not all that cheery, but better.

So... Yeah.

It's been A DAY.

Fortunately, it has been saved by a couple of things:

a) I managed to convince the parking ticket manager that after today's experiences I REALLY DON'T NEED A PARKING TICKET AFTER ALL. Maybe he'll take a flattened squirrel as payment? Although I personally think the mental trauma should be enough.

b) Olivia and I had a very entertaining conversation about old people in thongs after the squirrel conversation. It still has me chuckling. Remind me to share the story of my first-ever experience on South Beach sometime.

c) I got to eat a whole meal by myself while reading A BOOK. That's gotta belong in some sort of world record book or something.

d) I managed to get dinner going in the crockpot BEFORE leaving the house at oh-dark-thirty this morning, so there was little to do other than watch the Daddy rock the gravy and make some rice. Score!

Anyway, this post isn't supposed to be a chronicle of my very-nearly-epically-woebegone day. It's SUPPOSED to be about all the reading I want to share. So here you go!

Books

Last week's adventures rather derailed my book reading, to say the least, so I am nearly in the same place that I was Monday prior, however, I will do an update. Also, I think beginning in the next week or two I am going to start reviewing books that I am *not* currently reading, but have read in the past. There have been a lot of awesome (and some not-so-awesome) reads in the last couple of years that are TOTALLY worth sharing.

I am still working my way through Beatrix Potter: A Life In Nature. Still enjoying it. Still making connections to Charlotte Mason. And still finding it chuckle-worthy often enough to keep me coming back for more.

Something I haven't mentioned before is that this is, without a doubt, the longest non-fiction book I have attempted to read to date, and I will feel it will be quite the accomplishment when I finish it. I am also considering simply purchasing it rather than hijacking it from the library any longer. I like it enough to feel that it would be a good addition to hour home library.

I also picked up another young adult fiction book to preview with KayKay in mind, The Scarlet Stockings by Charlotte Kandel.

The book is about a young orphan girl who is given a mysterious riddle and a pair of magical scarlet stockings. Set around the turn of the Twentieth Century, Daphne's greatest desire is to be a ballet dancer, and through several fortuitous events and a little magic, she is able to become one. However, there are also dark forces at work in the stockings, and Daphne allows herself to make some very unhealthy choices in order to get what she wants. In the process, though, she hurts her adopted family, her closest friends, her fellow dancers, and perhaps worst of all, herself.

The cons first: The writing is a bit under grade-level for the age range I would recommend this book for; there are a couple of scenes where name-calling is found (understandable, given the circumstances, but rather unnecessary); there are some serious backstabbing/envy/jealousy issues in not only Daphne's life, but particularly in another major character's life; there is the whole "magic" thing - although that aspect is almost a neutral for me; and then there is a scene where Daphne goes behind her adoptive parents' backs to do something that she knows she's not supposed to do... And then manages to get things to work out in her favor after getting caught. Ehhhh, THAT really bothers me, but in the author's defense, she does highlight the fact that Daphne is lying and knows that it's wrong.

The pros: It's well-written for the most part; the story flows; the characters are well-developed for such a small book; when wrong-doing occurs it is emphasized as WRONG; the riddle piece is very nicely woven into the story without it feeling forced, or worse, too difficult to decipher; Daphne's adoptive family show her support, love and caring throughout, even when she disappoints them; Daphne learns her lesson, albeit the hard way.

The verdict: Again, I like this book. A lot. And again, I don't know that I will have KayKay read it, at least, certainly NOT YET. There is no doubt that it is firmly entrenched in the "YA" category - I originally had the impression it would be for a younger crowd because of the simplicity of the writing, but the themes are far too mature for KayKay to handle at this point. I would recommend this book for ages 12-14, because of the themes, but the writing is suitable for an eight-year-old, certainly. In fact, the writing style might be a turn-off to some older kids (especially if they are advanced readers), but for an older girl who perhaps loves dancing and is at typical reading level or a struggling reader, this may be a good choice. So if you have a very mature younger child or an older child who would appreciate the subject matter, and don't find any of the above-mentioned cons worrisome, it's a good read.

That's it for this week's books. Hopefully next week will have a bit more substance (and much less drama!). On to links...

Links

In Search Of: SouleMama. Loving SouleMama's post today. Love the inspiration that comes with all her lovely photos!

Treating Motherhood As A Job: To Love, Honor, And Vacuum. I don't read Sheila's blog all the time, and I don't always agree with what she writes, but man, in this post, she totally took me down for the count. She's COMPLETELY RIGHT, and as stupid (or simply naive and uncreative) as this may sound, I've never thought of motherhood in *quite* this way before. And yikes, I'm completely convicted about my total goof-off behaviour.

Thank You, Google, You Rock: Chalk In My Pocket. I discovered this link through The Artful Parent, whose posts I like, but tend to be more geared toward toddlers and babies, and I'm kinda been-there-done-that-have-older-kids... But anyway, this post is truly AWESOME. It's basically an outline of Google's Art Project, which takes viewers into museums around the world and gives them virtual tours. How cool is that?!?!? Think of the art-inspired homeschool possibilities... AHHHHH!!! Creativity overload!

Attack Of The 50-Foot Woman: Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder. Love this post about Whole Foods. It's hilarious. And a bit snarky. And yeah. Just go read it.

Four Common Obstacles To Completing Chores: Unclutterer. I can actually sum this up in one word:
P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N, but whatever. It's still a good read.

The Art of Embracing You: Gathering Spriggs. Oh, Heather, I love this post. It spoke to me, particularly after this last week. Beautiful!

Bookshelf: Planted By Streams. I really like the format of this post. Much like mine, except more picture-y. And less link-y (NOT to be confused with the blog-speak term "linky"). Hmmmm. *Note To Self* Perhaps more pictures are more betterer?

Orthodox Homeschooling Series: Evlogia. See, I knew I liked Katherine! Yet another Charlotte Mason devotee - with six kids to boot - this is a good read! And inspiring for those like me, who are STILL struggling.

Homeschooling Carnival, The NaNoWriMo Edition: Janice Campbell. I haven't had a chance to look at many of these links, but this looks fantastic. And also, who doesn't love the title of this post, seriously?!?!

What You Need From Your Local Yard Sales: TeachMama. While a lot of things on this list are geared toward kids younger than mine, this is a great post for ideas! She lists lots of things I wouldn't normally think of purchasing (or looking for, for that matter!) at a yard sale.

About 1775: Angry Chicken. Oh, I am somewhat-rather-almost-very envious of her mad sewing skills. And how she uses them to tie-in to homeschooling stuff. Utterly inspiring.

And speaking of inspiring... A post with that selfsame word in the title!

Inspired By The Blossoms: Centsational Girl. If you've never seen this site, it's a mecca for do-it-yourselfers. She does some amazing refinishing work... And has tons of easy tips for projects. So fun! And this post is an easy and fun little project that would be fun to do with or without children involved.

Resources For Raising A Challenging Child: Living Power. I have TWO amazing, wonderful, challenging children. Sometimes one more than the other. But anyway. I know that there are lots of other mommies out there just like me in this. This list is not extensive, but it does have some fantastic books on it. Enjoy.

Is God Safe? : Inspired To Action. This post hit me hard, in light of everything that surrounded the Ladybug's surgery last week. I am still challenged by that. This is a good post to do so.

And last, but definitely NOT least...

Kids Uncensored: Single Dad Laughing. This post is hysterical. I was giggling the whole time I read it. Please, go here, read it, laugh and be happy. Kids are awesome. Especially when they say unexpected (and often inappropriate or just plain silly) things!

Right Now

2011-02-26T12:07:00.001-06:00

As an update to yesterday's post:

The Ladybug is doing GREAT. Her surgery was shorter than average (they told me an hour, it was only forty-five minutes!), her time in recovery was MUCH shorter than it was supposed to be - she was doing so well that they discharged her less than an hour after the procedure, and today she is bouncing around like nothing happened.

The doctor doesn't even want to do a follow-up visit, and she hasn't complained about her arm hurting even ONCE.

God showed up. Over and over and over.

So today, I am going to do something a little different.

____________________________________________________________________________________

As I mentioned on Monday, I have officially decided that I am going to do my own version of Amanda Soule's posts on SouleMama.

So... Here goes!

Right now, I am...

Reminiscing ... About my Grandmother's life and who she was before Alzheimer's. My babies when they actually WERE babies.

Feeling ... Contented. So very thankful. I am blessed.

Reading ... Still working my way through Beatrix Potter: A Life In Nature, The Scarlet Stockings, and loving this post on BeeMusing.

Marveling ... At what perspective a new day can bring!

Finishing ... My coffee... And the last bits of getting ready for a birthday party today!

Wondering ... Why it's so hard sometimes to appreciate moments until after they're gone.

Dreaming ... Of sunshine and playrooms and gardens and chickens and a homeschool room. Of the day when little girls can run and play outside to their hearts content in OUR OWN outdoor space.

Listening ... To little girl conversation. And Honey I Shrunk The Kids. Which is an interesting combination, to say the least.

Hoping ... Just hoping. Always hoping.

Thinking ... About my lovely breakfast with dearest girlfriends this morning. Feeling loved! Girl time is awesome.

Praying ... Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven...

Desiring ... More joy, more peace, more life!

Learning ... About homeschooling, my girls - the young women they are becoming, the Daddy and who he really is, love, sacrifice, faith... So many, many things.

Breathing ... The softness of little girl hair, my new body spray (YUM, Brown Sugar & Fig... Delightful! Thank you, Miss Gretchen Ann.), the joy of life complete.

What To Do When The Momma Is Scared: Pray. Cry. Let Go. Laugh.

2011-02-25T17:13:00.001-06:00

We've had a week, let me tell you.

Three majorly long doctor's appointments and an unexpected surgery. Ack.

So I guess I should tell the whole story.

About four months ago, the Ladybug got this little bump on her arm that looked like a bug bite. But it didn't go away. We messed with it a little, and realized that no, it wasn't a bug bite, but instead was "some kind of wart." Left it, figuring it would go away.

It didn't.

In fact, it grew.

Put some wart stuff on it... Nothing.

Grew some more.

Finally, when the Daddy declared that it was emerging as a sentient being from her arm a la Total Recall, I decided it was time to take her to the doctor and have them freeze the darn thing off. Yay.

So after spending the day at doctor's offices ALL DAY on Monday, guess what we did on Tuesday? Yep, you guessed it... We went to the pediatric dermatologist to see about the Ladybug's wart.

The nurse came in, looked at it, and said, "Um, I don't think this is a wart. I'm not sure what it is. I'm going to go get the doctor." She wasn't all that worried, though, so I didn't think much of it.

Cue waiting around for A G E S. Like an hour, seriously. I had to go beg some teddy grahams (can you say, NASTY??) and juice off the nurse because we'd managed to miss lunch during that time.

Doctor finally comes in and says, "Nope, it's not a wart. And the good news is, it has be surgically removed." Oh, joy.

It's nothing big, from what I understand, just a benign growth that will keep growing unless it's removed. Looks like this:

Note: This is not my child's arm. It's a google search photo.

No big deal, right? They give her a local, cut it off, and voila! She's fine.

Except that's not what happened. Before I could blink, we'd seen the surgeon, who agreed with the assessment, and had scheduled the surgery for yesterday morning at 8:30... Which also happened to be my birthday. Happy birthday to me. Yay!

And then they tell me, "Oh, she has to be under general anesthesia. It's routine."

Except that anesthesia is not a happy medium in my world. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome to go to sleep and not feel anything. What's not awesome is having a bad reaction to it when you wake up, or waking up during the middle of the procedure with full feeling. Which has happened to me and several immediate family members. Half the time we're great with anesthesia, the other half... Ugh.

Add that in to the horrible, awful recurrent nightmares I've had since before the Ladybug was born about something happening to her (or her sister, or both of them), season it with the fact that she has never had more than a cold, then mix it all up with the knowledge that it is infinitely easier to overdose a child on anesthesia than it is an adult, and you have a nervous-to-borderline-hysterical Momma with seriously irrational fears.

Terrified is a good word. I was completely and utterly terror-stricken.

The rational, logical part of my brain completely understands that this is a very minor procedure. She is exceptionally healthy. There was and is nothing to indicate that it is anything more than a quick, easy, and relatively painless thing.

And I was fine with it, at first.

But Wednesday morning came, and BAM! Everything I'd ever feared about my children was staring me right in the face. I had absolutely no control over this situation. I had to place my faith elsewhere, because there was *nothing* I could do.

There is a part of parenting that lives in fear. Hear me out here - it is not that, as parents, we live our lives controlled by fear for our children (although there are some - dare I say, many - who do live that way), but that as a parent, we are constantly and unrelentingly barraged by ALL THE POSSIBILITIES. Most of which are not happy or fun. Constantly presented by our vividly creative minds with all the fearful, freak-accident fears. It is a daily battle of the mind to CHOOSE to move outside of those fears and in faith, in trust, in some semblance of normalcy, in God... In His infinitely more creative love for our children's health and well-being.

And most of the time, I do pretty good in this battle.

But sometimes, especially after a nightmare (the effects of which sometimes linger for weeks), I don't do so well. Guess who had a nightmare two weeks ago? Yep.

So my brain's all like, WHOA. Rational, logical thought goes right out the window.

I was nearly ready for a drug-induced coma come Wednesday night.

This was a battle, all right. And not one I thought I was prepared for.

Then to top it all off, Wednesday night, after a day of hidden tears and fervent prayers and FINALLY starting to feel better... Yeah. Both the Ladybug AND KayKay had nightmares all night.

And by nightmares, I'm talking about the kind where you're woken up by blood-curdling screams that don't quiet right away.

Even if you don't believe spiritual forces, you have to admit that SOMETHING was going on. I don't think they were picking anything up from me, either, because I am able to hide how I feel pretty well. And they had both had a happy Wednesday for all intents and purposes.

By the time Thursday morning dawned, I was a wreck. I felt like I'd had about five minutes of sleep, although it was closer to three hours.

But I had come to a firm decision in all the tossing and turning and praying and screaming: this fear did not control me, it was not of God, and I was going to TRUST that He loves my baby more than I do.

I had to surrender. I HAD to let her go.

So I did.

It wasn't fun.

Thursday morning finally dawned after a *most* miserable night, and I bundled my baby up, and we all went to the car, and she and I got dropped at the hospital while the Daddy took KayKay to get some breakfast (no kids allowed in the prep area, so it was just easier that way).

By the time we got checked in, I was at peace. Not perfectly so, but FAR better than even an hour before.

And God was faithful. He showed up.

Instead of one anesthesiologist, the Ladybug had THREE. Two residents AND the chief anesthesiologist was in the room with her. It was like God said, "Hey! You! Weak, fearful woman! I love your little girl WAAAAAAAAAAY more than you even thought you could. See?!?!"

And then, right before the surgery, they gave the Ladybug some anti-anxiety meds so she wouldn't feel anxious when they took her to the back.

I had no idea that when they said "Anti-anxiety" what they REALLY meant was "Total out-of-your-mind drug trip."

I've never witnessed anything like it.

About five minutes into it, she hunched over, and started humming (or groaning, depending on your perspective) to her stuffed hippo. When I asked her what she was doing, she looked up at me, flopped backward onto her pillow, and started giggling. Totally vacant. The lights were on, but nobody was home. Except a serious case of the giggles.

She just laid there for at least five minutes doing nothing but giggling. Eyes closed, just laying back, happy as a clam.

Happier, actually.

Then she opened her eyes and drunkenly waved her hand in front of her face and said, "Just SNAP! out of it! Just snap out of it!" Over and over. Giggling the whole time. She knew something was going on, but she couldn't stop laughing long enough to try to figure it out.

And all I could do was watch her and laugh. We spent the last half an hour before she went into surgery laughing and giggling and smiling together. Happy.

For as long as I live, I'll never forget her half-baked giggling in that hospital room. It was awesome. And one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed.

God showed up.

He snapped His fingers, and said, "Just SNAP! out of it!"

And I did.

Monday Reading, The Oh, Look, It's Monday! Edition

2011-02-21T22:07:00.000-06:00

As I posted on Facebook earlier, I COMPLETELY FORGOT that it was Monday today. It's been a bit of a hectic crazy day (and YAY, the rest of the week looks like it's going to follow suit), and it simply didn't occur to me that I had something else to do today until about 4:00 this afternoon.

Whoops.

So this is the "Monday Reading, WHOOPS." version. Which basically means, you get a bunch of info and little of my entertaining dialogue in-between. You're thrilled, aren't you? It's okay, you can admit it. I promise I won't cry or get my feelings hurt... Much.

I do have a quick couple of things to share though, before moving on to the "reading" portion of today's post.

First things first - in big news for us, I took the Ladybug Saturday to get her ears pierced. Five years old was when her sister decided she wanted her ears pierced, so I told the Ladybug that if she wanted to have earrings, that she would have to wait until she was five. And then I put it off for as long as possible. Which wasn't as long as I had wanted. *Sigh*

But while we were in Florida, we went to the Jewelry Exchange (which, as an aside, I must say - if you are ever in South Florida, and you love jewelry, you simply MUST go. It is mind-bogglingly amazing. On one of our more recent trips, I tried on a diamond-encrusted bangle bracelet that listed for a cool one-hundred-and-twenty-five thousand dollars. It was awesome. Totally gaudy and I never would have worn it, but fun to try on for sure! But anyway...) and I specifically took the Ladybug there to pick out her first "real" earrings.

We have friends who have a booth there, and after looking AT LEAST a hundred-and-fifty pairs of earrings, she finally picked a pair of white sapphires in yellow gold that look like diamond flowers. She loves them, however, she was bitterly disappointed that I wouldn't get her the half-carat-each diamond studs in the case, (literally) sobbing that she needed "BIG EAWWINGS." Good taste she has, at least in jewelry (clothes... are another matter entirely).

But so sorry, kiddo. When you can't even pronounce the word earring right, you sure ain't gonna get a pair of huge honkin' diamond studs. And we won't even go into the fact that Mommy doesn't have a pair of those either.

But I digress. So we went and got her real earrings in anticipation of the upcoming piercing. And then I managed to put it off for about a month because... Well, to be perfectly honest, *I* wasn't ready. But we went on Saturday.

I asked her, "Are you SURE?" and always it was a resounding, "YES!!!" So off to Claire's we went. The girls there were very nice, and the Ladybug was perfectly still for the entire process. She picked her "beginner" earrings (she can't wear the special ones from the Jeweler's Exchange until these have been in for several weeks), and did great. I could tell she was very excited.

Since it is very important to me to tell my girls the truth about pain, so I told her explicitly that it would hurt, although not as bad as some other things she's already been through, but I still think she wasn't quite prepared. When the guns went off, her eyes got as big as dinner plates and immediately welled with a thousand tears. But they only lasted for about a minute-and-a-half, because as soon as she saw her newly sparkling earrings in the mirror, she was happy as a clam and ready for Phase II of her earring experience, which was - as titled by Mommy - "Do And Buy Lots of Fun Things For Being Brave". (I have her sister to thank for this because KayKay had the princess ear-piercing experience including a toy, ice cream AND a trip on the Santa train. And has since talked it up EVERY SINGLE TIME ANYONE BRINGS UP THE TOPIC OF EARRINGS. So yeah.)

She picked out two headbands, a Hello Kitty whistle, and a stuffed pug. She decided to forgo the ice cream in favor of the stuffed pug dog. Which basically meant that she really, REALLY wanted the pug dog. And that she figured we'd get ice cream again soon (which may or may not happen). Then she promptly named the pug dog Mosey, "Or Moses. I like the name Moses. But she's a girl," and made me put hairbows on her. Well then.

But... *Sob* My baby's not a baby any more. She's officially transitioned, earrings, pull-ups, lisp and all, into little-girl-hood. And my heart breaks.

I miss four-years-old already, and she's only been five a month. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving five. Five was great with KayKay, too. It's such a fun age. It really, truly is. But when KayKay was five, I had a baby, so I had the best of both - little-girl-hood and babyhood. Now... I often feel as though I've already hit the drama of "pre-teen," complete with angst, and there is no more babyhood - or even toddlerhood - to reach back into.

Now, it's just all little girls. I love little girls.

So that's that. Now on to reading.

Books

So, since last weeks post, I've blazed through a couple of kids books. I enjoyed them, however they're not all appropriate for KayKay. So I'll dive right into the how's and why's of all that.

I finished Museum of Thieves by Lian Tanner pretty early in the week last week. Love this book. It just... Flowed. I love the moral of the story - that you can be more than you think you are, if ONLY you try. And that failure is not something to be afraid of (but that one could just be my interpretation).

There are a few knit-picky little things that I don't care for, but overall, it's a resounding YES. One of the things is that *most* (but not all) of the adults in the book show such little common sense, even when their lives are in danger. The other is that there is no deep - or rather, reasonable - explanation for how the museum came to be. But that's about all I found truly objectionable. There are two scenes of particular violence toward the end of the book, which may not sit well with some parents or readers, but I did not find them to be any more disturbing than a couple of the movies we've watched. The bad guy in the book is REALLY BAD, though - not that he does so many bad things, just the WAY in which he acts.

But yes, it is great. It is interesting, the characters work well with one another, the main character is creative and thoughtful, and in fact, moves the opposite of young adult books, in that: she, unlike many characters in children's books is taught and learns to slow down and think before acting. I love, love, LOVE that. Rather than jumping into foolhardy behavior and then not having to deal with the consequences of her actions, the opposite is true. In fact, I think I may let KayKay read this one sooner rather than later... But definitely not before she turns nine. I think she will love it.

I also blazed through Edison's Gold, by Geoff Watson. I liked this book. A lot. But I won't be letting KayKay read it. It read like a movie script in many ways - which I totally don't like - and although it was fast-paced and had a lot of puzzles (which I very much liked), there were way too many pop-culture references for my taste (which will completely date this book in ten or twenty years), and little to the puzzles was left to the reader - it was all set up and sort of waiting for the reader to catch up. I also REALLY didn't like how the kids - often - went behind their parents' backs in order to solve the mystery. So no. It was a fun little read, and maybe when she's fifteen and completely outgrown it will I decide to recommend it, but not right now.

Then I've picked back up where I left off in Beatrix Potter, A Life in Nature. Still thoroughly enjoying it. And loving taking it out with me so that it makes me look smart. Ha! I discovered an interesting parallel in reading it, as well, which has made me appreciate it even more, and not for simply the pleasure of reading it, but for what it can teach. That parallel is this - although I make no claims to be a student of the Charlotte Mason philosophy for homeschooling, I will say that I am at least somewhat familiar with her methods, one of which is about placing a child in the natural environment... And this book about Beatrix Potter espouses and reaffirms those methods in (to me!) surprising and interesting ways. And has given me ideas about how to go about fostering a love of the outdoors in my own children.

More on that to come... But now, it's off to links, and then off to bed for me!

Links

Playdates, Trampoline: The Well Spring. Oh my goodness, do I love this. So poetic. So beautiful. Such an invitation to be with God.

How To Find the Holy Grail of Joy: The Huffington Post. A guest-post by the ever-amazing Ann Voskamp. What a rich, powerful read. Enjoy and be blessed by its truth!

Rebooting Home(Schooling): Living, Learning and Loving Simply. This is a fantastic post that I found through my friend Sherry about how to move past the doldrums of homeschooling. Definitely a necessary read.

Why You're Not Married: The Huffington Post. This was very funny, and very insightful, even for me, happily married Mommy. Made me think about some of my (current!!) behaviors that perhaps make the Daddy feel less than loving toward me. Hmmmm.

Introducing Project Simplify: SimpleMom. Ooooooh, I may have to take the challenge! Can I do it, collect-o-holic that I am???? I'm both terrified and enthusiastic.

When Good Enough Is Good Enough: Productivity Your Way. Great post for all the perfectionists out there. Like me.

For Better And For Worse: Half-Pint House. Love this post. Love her perspective. We're living Pink Panther for sure. Or perhaps, we're living Swiss Family Robinson, and I'd more envisioned The Sound of Music. But whatever. You get it, right?

Okay, that's all for now. I have more, but it's bedtime. G'night, friends!

Some Days

2011-02-16T13:34:00.001-06:00

Some days (like today) I feel like a failure.

Some days, I wonder why I even bother.

This is not an "in general" feeling. In fact, it's pretty specific.

As a parent of an emotional, high-energy, dare-I-say gifted child, I am challenged. Daily, at the very least. Generally hourly.

Today, it has been minute-by-minute. For three hours. That's one-hundred-and-eighty minutes for all you mathy people.

I want to do EXACTLY what she does, and throw myself on the floor sobbing.

And I feel like a failure.

I question: Where did I go wrong? Why am I the only one that is allowed to see this side of her? Why did I bother thinking that I *could* not only parent her, but school her, teach her, as well?

The Daddy has asked why we can never seem to make it outside until late in the day, if at all - and generally I'm too exhausted to explain. Three hours of screaming, kicking, throwing things, tearing things will do that to you.

And it happens at least once a week. Sometimes every day for weeks. Except when the Daddy is home. Of course.

Homeschooling wasn't the beginning, believe me. It has been years of this. Homeschooling has simply brought it into a much sharper focus because now I don't get a break - there is no preschool, kindergarten, anything, to send her off to.

I'm exhausted. I want to run away, give my children to someone else, and say, "HERE, they're yours, because I can't do it anymore and SURELY SOMEONE ELSE can do a better job than I can."

And so I must wrestle. I must fight. This is as much about me as it is her. I can't give in simply because it's easier. God Himself has entrusted me with this child, and I must honor His will, His gift, by giving her the very best of me.

Even when it has been one-hundred-and-eighty minutes. Because when I snap, on minute one-hundred-and-eighty-one - which I have, OH SO MANY TIMES - then I am not honoring any of us, let alone Him, He Who is the Creator of the Universe. And we have to start all over.

Because my rough places are just as rough as hers. Because I have just as much to learn.

So I question: Who am I, that You, oh God, would entrust me with such a job? What do You have for me that only my child, my precious girl, can teach me? What would You desire of me that I should emulate and teach both my girls? About life? About holiness? About YOU?

So I plead: Help me, oh Lord. Teach me, oh Lord. Grant me patience. Let Your love shine through.

And then, just as suddenly as it started, the storm is over.

The sun is still shining outside. It never stopped. I just stopped looking for a little while, because the tears threatened to overwhelm me.

There is peace. I am ready for whatever the next minute holds. And we may make it outside after all.

Monday Reading, The LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Edition

2011-02-14T21:55:00.001-06:00

Good Monday.

And happy Valentine's Day. Whoooooo. Here, let me shove some hearts, confetti, more hearts, lame cardboard valentines with Scooby Doo - or, even better, Disney Princesses - on them, and more hearts at you. Blah, blah, blah. Do you feel all fluttery inside now?

I know, I know, I'm so romantic.

Actually, I am *very* romantic. You should see my house. The Daddy teases me that it looks like a Victoria Magazine threw up all over it... He teases, but he's nearly right. It's very girlie. And romantic.

I'm one of those who grew up daydreaming about castles and princesses and knights and being served breakfast in bed every day and, of course, bouquets of fresh roses adorning every corner. Of moonlit walks on the beach and weekends whisked away to exotically named places. Of candles and champagne EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.

And then I married the Daddy. Who is also *very* romantic, but tends much more toward the practical and thoughtful than I ever have. He has redefined my idea of romance. Of what love means. Of what it means to celebrate our love. And I love him the more for it.

So I'm rather over Valentine's Day as a holiday. The Daddy and I haven't really celebrated the day, such that it is, in years... But I would say that it is mostly because my birthday is just around the corner, and it's MUCH easier to do something awesome then, a week - or twelve - later, than to overpay for roses, candles, champagne and food because American society dictates, "It must be so and verily on this, the 14th day of February."

This year, my Valentine's Day present was to go to the Antiques & Garden Show. ALONE. Like an adult. One that does adult things. Nary a cartoon character, singing mouse product, or whining child in sight. *Sigh* Having the Daddy watch the girls for a full five hours while I got to roam and linger, and ooh and ahhh to my heart's content was seriously romantic in my book. *Swoon*

And oh, boy, did I EVER have fun.

But that's not what this post is about. And besides, what's the use in me talking about all the fabulous things I saw when I didn't get any good photos of them?

I did, however, bring home an exquisite antique linen-and-lace tablecloth. *Swoon* Love. How romantic. Utterly and COMPLETELY. Photos to follow... Sometime.

So anyway, on to reading. The loooooooooooooove edition.

Books

I finally finished Scarlet, and very much enjoyed it. Of course, it totally leaves you hanging, so I'm off to the library tomorrow to get Tuck. Fortunately, I have appeased the local library powers-that-be, paying my dues (*Sigh* Don't ask.) and thankfully, averting any crises that might require a limb or my firstborn.

I hope that Tuck ends the trilogy satisfactorily - I have been caught in several trilogies that have been GREAT all the way to the last book, and then, suddenly, the storyline or something just stops working. However, I have great hopes for it, and the second book really puts some different things into perspective and some new characters into play, while continuing to develop the characters from the first book. I also really like the historical background - it is obvious that the subject matter was pretty thoroughly researched, and I always appreciate that. The author, Stephen R. Lawhead, even includes a Welsh pronunciation guide in the back of the books so that you know that you are pronouncing the names of certain characters and places correctly. In my opinion, VERY nice!

I am about fifty pages into another book - this one non-fiction - entitled, The New Concise History of the Crusades, by Thomas Madden. The Daddy asked me to pick it up for him last month (there is a long, convoluted reason behind this, but I'll not go into that right now) and thoroughly enjoyed it, so he recommended I read it. I am enjoying it - its insights into the Crusades (a period about which I know very little) and connections to the modern jihadist movement is fascinating - but I am easily distracted, so I find myself putting it down and picking up other things and then coming back to it again. I'll finish it eventually, I'm sure, and I'm equally certain that it is a worthy, well-written read.

In the midst of this, we watched Kingdom of Heaven with Liam Neeson, Orlando Bloom and Jeremy Irons, which I had never seen. I can't believe I haven't watched it before now, as I LOVE Liam Neeson AND Jeremy Irons. Both are fantastic actors whom I greatly admire. Orlando Bloom... Meh.

Anyway, it's a good movie, and fits the theme nicely... It also has encouraged me to finish the book, because I'm fascinated by certain aspects of the storyline and want to see how the movie fits with the actual history. One of my favorite characters was this awesome knight/priest/monk guy who was a Hospitaller (from which our modern term, "Hospital" is derived) - whoever wrote his part did a great job, because he had some really thought-provoking lines about God and life and death and destiny... Written from a Hollywood perspective, of course, but still good, and enough to make one pause and consider what's been said. It's a bit gory and bloody, but fortunately, I can generally tell when things are about to get ugly and hide my face in the Daddy's shoulder. And in comparison to the reality of the Crusades, I'm sure it seems like a walk in the park...

I'm also two-thirds of the way through Museum of Thieves, by Lian Tanner. I've looked at this book and read reviews of it on Amazon at least a dozen times, but haven't gotten it because I wasn't quite sure if it would be appropriate for KayKay or not. So last library trip, I happened upon it while looking for another book and grabbed it. *I* am really enjoying it. Whether it's appropriate for my eight-year-old, I'm still not quite certain. While what the character does is not necessarily questionable, I don't know if KayKay's maturity level is there yet or not. We shall see.

However, I am quite pleased with a scene in the middle of the book where one of the characters quite plainly illustrates that while STEALING is not a good thing, but that the snatching of power from the tyrant is quite acceptable (among other things) - and I most completely agree. It is a poignant and profound moment, so much so that I read it aloud to the Daddy the other night, subjecting him to my God-awful, sensory-assaulting reading aloud. Whether the moment made it across the bedsheets to his brain (without it bleeding) has yet to be seen, but it's a good one, I tell you!

KayKay did just finish up with The Hundred Dresses, by Eleanor Estes. This short, powerful little book is perfect for her age, and teaches a fantastic lesson in kindness to boot. I haven't had much of a chance to discuss it with her yet, but I am excited to hear her thoughts, as it is the type of book that I am CERTAIN she will have thought about. Definitely recommend it, and I will share more once I hear from her.

Anyway. Moving on to some of the online reading I've been doing...

Links

Oh, SO VERY MANY links to love today!

First, for my husband, my love, the Daddy:

The Love of a Practical Man: Baby Rabies. Oh, she's so right. I laughed when I read this, but more out of recognition than anything else. I love you, sweetie!

And then... Lots more reading. Enjoy!

Little Angels of Today: Oh Charm of Nothingness So Madly Decked! Wow. Just look at the title of this blog, and tell me it doesn't make you melt a little bit? So perfectly poetic, just like the author. I think I've found a little slice of heaven in this post... It certainly seems that she did.

Paper City: Made By Joel. Love, love, love. I'll be printing these for little hands to play with straightaway. Followed by this. And these. Definitely those. Oh, and let's not forget the whole reason why I went on his site to begin with - THESE - the Indoor Ring Toss. Awesome! Thank you, SimpleMom for sharing!

Red, Green, Or Black?: Lille-Ursus. Totally fun blog, totally FUN post. Check out the SHOES. The *Swoon and awed-whisper* aqua shoes. Oh, do I love them!

Right Now: Soule Mama. I think I shall take a page from the queen of homemaking, Soule Mama Amanda, and do a "right now" post sometime this week. It's too good a post not to. And I completely agree with her assessment of February.

How to Quit Your Job and Go to Italy: Small Notebook. Ah, Italy. *More swooning* Oh, Rachel, I am so envious! But in a happy-for-you sort of way. One day, it WILL BE ME. In the meantime, I can live vicariously and enjoy the gorgeousness through her photos.

The Sweetest Hour: Minky (Moo). Oh, goodness. I'd forgotten those moments, those snuggles with tiny toddlers and swelling baby belly. I'm so glad to be reminded.

Five Reasons Public School Socialization is Undesirable: Opting Out. This is a great read about, well, socialization and public schools.

Forest for the Trees: Sage Parnassus. What an interesting post about language and it's use, and how a fully-engaged child can make connections.

What the French Revolution Can Teach Us About Parenting: Laura Grace Weldon. Wow. Just... WOW. This is a truly powerful post. I think I may need to print it out and read it about a dozen or so times. It is so true.

Kinda Like 1995: Scary Mommy. I discovered this post earlier today, and at first I thought this was a serious post and was pretty horrified that ANY self-respecting mother would find herself in such a situation... And then I realized that it was about her children and I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my chair. I think it makes it funnier because I actually THOUGHT she was serious at first. None of it is anything I would have done, even in 1995, but it sure was fun to read about! Ha!

Capitalizing on Crunchy: Hormonal Imbalances. I had to click on this link, if for no other reason than the title of the blog. And actually, this post is fantastic. It's so totally true, and a fine line that I have begun to walk myself. Finding the balance between as-healthy-as-possible without living in a bubble. Or spending five thousand dollars a month on food/other green-crunchy things.

Getting Kids To Write - Write Around The Room: TeachMama. Ooooooh, great idea! I'm going to try this with the Ladybug pronto. Should be fun, because she ADORES notebooks and pens so long as I'm not actually trying to dictate anything to her.

One last post - We Heart Nature: Living and Learning. A post by my friend Sherry, on her lovely homeschooling blog. Love the heart-shaped rocks!

Well, that's all the love for today, folks. Catch you later, my lovies. (Have you had enough LOVE yet?!?! Yes, I know, I'm cheesy. That's why you love me.)

Monday Reading Didn't Happen. Oops.

2011-02-08T22:19:00.001-06:00

So.

It's not really an oops. It's actually an "Oh, Dear GOD HELP ME!"

I was SICK, SICK, SICK yesterday. Ugh. Let's just say it was a 24-hour bug, and it wasn't pretty.

So yeah.

Needless to say, Monday Reading didn't happen. I don't know if it will today, either, as things on the homefront have been a bit rocky. *Sigh*

So there may not be a Monday Reading this week at all. Argh! SO FRUSTRATING. Why does it seem like everything has to happen on Mondays lately?!?!?

However, I will share a couple of quick links to appease the crowd. 'Cause three's a crowd, right? Ha!

So, here you go.

How To Love Exercise, Washing Dishes, and Folding Laundry: Inspired to Action. Oh, I love Kat. I may have mentioned this once or twice. She doesn't know it. I'm sort of an internet stalker in that way (KIDDING... Maybe.). But anyway. She pushes me. She truly inspires me. And here, she makes a great point. I haven't moved into the world of audiobooks yet, but I'm getting there... Maybe just one more push and I'll make the jump.

The Unbearable Arrogance of Insurance Companies: Best of the Blogs. If you know me, you know that I have hefty dose of utter and complete LOATHING for most (let's just say ALL) health insurance companies. This author explains a lot of the why's, very aptly, in this well-written and pointed article. In a nutshell: Insurance companies are about profits first, health care second. And for the millions of somebody's out there just like me, we get put on the losing end of that deal every single time. It's a good read. A really good read, actually. Well-worth the time and its length.

The Ruinous Fiscal Impact of Big Banks: The Baseline Scenario. Another long, good read. Typically, I don't read stuff like this, but then, once in a while, I'll get on a kick and get all hyper-educated (for the moment) about politics and high-finance and all that muckety-muck. And then I go back to being me. But yeah. Good read. Sobering, but good.

A Small Gesture... A Big Effect: Treppenwitz. I just discovered this blog, and I love it. What he writes here is so, so true. It is such a blessed thing to notice, and be noticed, even in the small, seemingly insignificant things. Oh, and go read the post about the spider. It's hilarious!

One Way To A More Effective Day: Small Notebook. Ah, Rachel. So real! So true. And in this case, SO ME. I completely identify with everything she wrote in this post. *Sigh* I don't know if that's a good thing because it means I'm normal, or if I need *more* therapy.

Is It A Good Buy, Or Just A Bargain: Small Notebook. And then, she totally rips my chest open and lays ALL MY SECRETS out there in this post. Ack! I am TOTALLY that bargain-hunter. Definitely *not* normal. *Double Sigh* Must. Stop. Shopping. Even at the thrift stores. *Rending clothes* Ugh! Perish the thought! It's so sad. And yet, SO true.

Herbs For Kids. On a completely different note, KayKay has started a science unit on plants, botany, and mainly, herbs. This site has some fantastic links on it to resources for kids to learn more about herbs. We also got her this book for the holidays, which she and I BOTH love. AH-MAZ-ING. I will do a further review of it soon, promise! It's just great!

KnowPlants. This is another database that is chock full of resources for botany, gardening, and you-name-it. While much of it isn't geared toward little ones, I have found that I can point KayKay to certain sections of some of the "older" sites, and then let her loose on other stuff. She hasn't played any of the games yet, but I think we'll be doing that later this week, too. I'll let you know!

Then there's this. Whether you've seen it or not, it's utterly compelling, in my opinion! What a great teaching tool for children. The girls and I haven't explored this fully (we just looked at a couple of the pictures together, but didn't really talk about them), but I plan on turning this into a lesson at some point.

Giant Sidewalk Chalk In Se7en Steps: Se7en. This is an AWESOME project. We're totally going to do this! When it's warmer, that is. The girls will love it. And it'll be a great way for me to let go of some of my OCD tendencies regarding their cleanliness. Therapy, in chalk form. Maybe I won't need to pay for any more after all!

Okay, that's all for now! Hopefully, this makes up for yesterday's nausea and we'll all be right as rain this coming Monday for a real "Reading" post!

I Love My Family (Or, Outtakes From Our Florida Adventure)

2011-02-05T22:18:00.004-06:00

My family is crazy. CRAZY with a capital "C". My children included. Crazy wonderful, crazy insane, crazy good, crazy bad, crazy in-all-the-ways-you've-never-even-heard of, they've got it all (But hopefully my children won't inherit ALL that, though. :O). They make ME crazy (more than normal).

But I love them.

I am a product of my family, no doubt about it. They are pretty much wholly responsible for my bizarre and off-beat sense of humor, my incredibly weird habits, and my (relative) lack of inhibition. Among other things.

But I love them.

SO. In honor of my awesome crazy family, I thought I'd share some fun photos from our recent visit. Can you tell my children are total hams?!?!

Enjoy!

This one will probably get me in trouble. I love you, Dad!

If I survive, I'll be posting on Monday. Otherwise, you'll know what happened to me, and you might want to contact the authorities.

So, now I wanna hear all about YOUR crazy families. Because I *know* you've got them!

Au revoir, mes amis! I'm out.

Monday Reading, The MIA Edition

2011-01-31T23:15:00.000-06:00

Home again, home again, jiggity jog.

So I've been rather MIA lately - it isn't called being on vacation for no reason, right?

Two - no make that THREE - Monday's missed, ack! And I have so much reading to share. But there are plenty more Mondays, and I may just share some links for fun later this week. I haven't done as much reading as I would have liked, but then again, we've been ultra busy.

The last two weeks have felt kind of like boot camp - everyone screaming "GO, GO, GO!!" We've done so much, I can hardly believe it! :O)

We're back from Florida and had a fantastic time. Truly one of the best trips I've enjoyed in a long time. But once we returned, it was necessary to take two full days to recover. Yikes.

We airboating on the Everglades, went to the AMAZING circus, we went geocaching for the very first time (WOW, was THAT ever fun, too!), we played with baby farm animals, saw (almost) all the family, visited with good friends, had two cookouts, we ate so much stone crab that I and everyone else nearly made myself ill (Although the Ladybug, who was all over eating crab until it was *actually* time to do it said she didn't like the "funky red stuff" on the crab meat. Ha! Crazy kid.), we celebrated a birthday or two, went shopping, and I even got in a trip to my favorite thrift store.

Whew. I'm exhausted just reading all that. And that doesn't even include all the movie-watching and game-playing there was. No wonder we needed two days of sleep.

Anyway, we've been home for a few days now and are finally starting to settle back into the "at home" routine.

As an aside, traveling while homeschooling is awesome. NO, we DID NOT do school every day, however, we did do QUITE a bit. We took several books with us, and KayKay finished one, got most of the way through another, and in general did very well. It was great, too, because my Dad got to help her with some of her math work.

That was a BIG DEAL because, A) My Dad is a *great* teacher/explainer. He is very patient and takes all the time necessary to make sure that everything is understood, and B) For certain things, KayKay simply learns better from others. Fractions is one of those things. We went to Florida with KayKay having meltdowns over fractions and left with her having a pretty darn good understanding of what fractions are, and how they behave (except in mixed numbers and some division stuff). I'd say that's success!

So on to reading - this post has taken FAR TOO LONG already for me to throw together, so you're just going to have to wait on the fun "look what we did" posts. Photos will be forthcoming, though!

Books

So I still haven't finished Rooms - it's not that I don't like it, it's just that it was the wrong reading material for me to have on our trip. So I've shelved it for a bit, although I'll probably finish it in the next week or so. On that front, then, there's not much to update.

But because the library is threatening to rescind my card if I don't return Scarlet (the second bookof the Stephen Lawhead King Raven trilogy) soon, I'm blazing through that one. And by blazing, I mean, like 200 pages in three days. I need to finish or else they'll come repossess it AND my firstborn. Ack!

I really like Scarlet. It's written in a completely different manner than Hood was, and at first, I wasn't too thrilled with the change. In this book, it's written mostly in Will Scarlet's voice, continuing the story of Rhi Bran y Hud (King Raven) in a much more earthy, first-person telling. I'm officially liking Will Scarlet a whole lot. He's interesting and has a great sense of right-and-wrong, and an oddly similar sense of humor (although there's not much of that in the book) to mine.

I'm nearly half done with it, and hope to have it back to the library by the end of the week so that there's no shedding of blood, which is generally a good thing. I'll give a further review of it when I finish, but so far so good. I'll definitely be picking up the third book, Tuck, in the very near future. Just as soon as I can convince the librarians that I PROMISE TO NEVER, EVER HOLD ONE OF THEIR BOOKS HOSTAGE AGAIN.

As for children's reading, KayKay just wrapped up Mistress Masham's Repose, by T. H. White. She loved it, and I'm inclined to agree with her. And absolutely worthy and just plain GOOD read. I was not familiar with the story until a friend of mine, who has a similar affinity for delightful children's stories, insisted that I bring it home with me and read it immediately.

I did, and I loved it. So much so, that as soon as I gave it back, I immediately ordered a copy from Amazon (the selfsame copy that I have linked to, actually).

The story is about a "poor little rich girl" in essence, who lives in a dilapidated old mansion whilst being cared for (if you can call it that) by the WORST possible caregivers. She has no friends but a rather doddering old professor who advises her. And then, one day, magic happens. She discovers Lilliputians. A whole city of them. Right on the grounds of her estate! The rest you can discover if you read it.

The story is lovely - just enough humor, seriousness and peril to keep it interesting, and wrapped up in it all, there is a great moral. Perfect for a young reader like KayKay, but certainly enough to keep me interested, so it would likely be a fun read-aloud, too.

So now on to the other reading...

Links

Theory of Loose Parts: Let the Children Play. This is an interesting idea - it's more than an idea to me, actually - that's practically how I ALWAYS played as a child. But for a mom like me, who - at least in the arena of her children's cleanliness and what I consider "junk" - is rather Type A (I can't claim such in really ANY other area of my life, though!), this can be hard for me at times. But reading this post did help!

20 Indoor Activities for Kids Besides TV: Simple Mom. We don't watch a whole lot of TV in our house. We don't even have cable. But we do have Netflix streaming. So I'm always looking for ideas to move away from the television. Although most of these are common sense, and I've done at least half of them, sometimes, it's just good to read (and be affirmed in) them.

What's Healthy for Kids is Healthy for Adults: Simple Mom. Love SimpleMom, what can I say? And this is a GREAT article. And, as the old saying goes, "What's good for the gander is good for the goose." Right?

Marriage Advice from the Big Horn Sheep: Well-Grounded Life. Wow. This is a good one. Just what I needed to read.

Bugs, Birds & Beasts: Se7en. This post is a great chronicle of outdoor science experiments for homeschooled (or not!) kids. Most of them are super-easy, and if you're like me, EASY IS GOOD. I definitely think we'll be trying some of them in the spring, maybe even sooner!

You Know You're A Homeschooler When: Art's Chili Pepper. Although I'm not long in the homeschooling world, I still found this a fun and light-hearted read.

Collecting Thoughts, Holding on to Dreams: Gathering Spriggs. Love, love, LOVE this post by my friend, Heather. Such good food for thought - us creative types need to be challenged in such ways!

Hidden and Quiet: Evlogia. Oh, wow. Just... Wow. In the frequent chaos of my life, this was so convicting... And so right to read.

Okay. It's now totally past my bedtime and I've absconded with the Daddy's laptop. I'd better stop and just post the darn thing, or else it'll be another week, and the reading list will have tripled at least. (I KNOW I'm leaving out at least THREE GOOD LINKS, but I can't remember them right now. Maybe later in the week?!?!)

Monday Reading, On Wednesday

2011-01-12T22:55:00.000-06:00

Well, this was started MUCH earlier in the day, and then got set aside as other things came up. It was supposed to be an afternoon post. Oh, well. Enjoy!

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Hello, friends. It's cool today here in Miami. Nice.

The Daddy told me a few minutes ago that the high for the day back home is twenty-one. Twenty-one degrees. Maybe I'm a weenie, but that seems pretty darn cold to me!

It's not sunny - rather, it's overcast and grey - but there no rain, so that's good. The wind is strong today, pushing and tugging at the lychee, palm and mango trees in the backyard. It's a jungle out there, the backyard of my childhood - not just palms, but also coconut, key lime, gardenias, and hibiscuits (as KayKay used to call the hibiscus); lizards, chameleons, chickens, dogs, and certainly (although we generally don't see them) snakes.

The girls love it. And when it's like this, I do, too.

Sometimes, when I come back, I feel like I've been transported to an alternate universe, complete with alternate versions of me. Because when I'm down here, for good or for bad, "Miami Kristen" comes out. But that's a post for another time.

But right now, I am watching the Ladybug push a motley circus of plastic animals across the floor - there's a monkey, an elephant, a plastic princess, a toucan, and a frog. Oh, and a butterfly. Let's not forget the butterfly.

They are, at this moment, all drinking pretend tea from a communal teacup.

KayKay is dutifully doing her schoolwork. So far, no complaints. Hopefully it'll stay that way. We're set up, even with a perfect little desk in my old bedroom for her to do her work.

I recently bought KayKay the Yellow Book and the Purple Book of the Miquon Math curriculum. We're about 15 pages into the Yellow Book, and she hates it. *Sigh* It came SOOO highly recommended. I was so excited about getting the books and starting them. I think it's interesting and unique. She's fought me tooth and nail every step of the way.

She doesn't like that it doesn't have enough words. Sound familiar? Not that anyone else in the family likes a WHOLE lot of words or anything.

But still. One of the basic principles of Miquon is that you simply don't need lots of words to be able to do math. And it's true.

For math before, we were working through a basic third-grade workbook and doing handmade worksheets. And when the workbook came to an end, I figured I couldn't go wrong with Miquon. Argh! I don't know what to do here - mathematics were never my strong suit, and my aversion started at right about the same age as KayKay is now. I DO NOT want this to be a repeat performance of my experience. Both my Dad and the Daddy are both brilliant at advanced mathematics. And I mean, BRILLIANT. It stands to reason that my children would be good at math, too. Right? The "math brain" has to come out sometime. And so far, KayKay has been quite advanced. I mean, she learned the basics of numbers squared and cubed at age 6. Any kid who can do that can conquer Miquon.

But now she says she HATES math. With emphasis. H-A-T-E-S it. *Sigh* And I'm afraid it might be all my fault.

At this point, I am pretty good at basic things - percentages, fractions, multiplication, division, etc. I use those things every day mentally, in estimating discounts and price comparisons. I even like it, most of the time. But, in this, I freely admit, I have no idea how to foster a love for numbers, for fractions and percentages, for number formulas.

I could use some ideas! We can't afford to fumble around with 37 different curricula trying to find the perfect one. That was one of the (MANY) reasons why I was drawn to Miquon. SO CHEAP!

I am fairly well certain that KayKay is an auditory learner, so verbalizing things definitely helps (As long as she's FOCUSED. Otherwise, it's in one ear and out the other.). Truly, most of our battles through the year so far have been about mathematics and certain principles. She doesn't deal with change and new ideas very well, and at this stage, pretty much everything is new and different. But I honestly think there's gotta be an approach I can take that will ease this issue.

So if you have any ideas, please, please, PLEASE pass them along! This needs to be fun and effective... For BOTH of us.

Anyway.

I'll leave the homeschool drama for now. It's reading time.

The list will be light this week - I have several links on my computer at home that I'm excited to share, but those will have to wait, because I'm very obviously not home. So this post would do better with the title, "Holding Pattern Monday Reading".

Books

So my start of Beatrix Potter: A Life in Nature was rather derailed by this trip. I'm about sixty pages into it, though, and still enjoying it. I am into the early years of her life right now, and in my opinion, she had a childhood and adolescence worthy of envy. There were constant visits to country homes and her childhood was steeped in art and literature. She was quite the witty one as well, and I've laughed out loud through several passages. There is a particular paragraph about a "horrid" hamster that had me giggling and the Daddy giving me another one of his "Oh, no, she's lost it again" looks.

I decided not to bring it with me on this trip, though, because I got sucked into a book that one of my very dearest friends, the glorious Miss Gretchen, suggested. She and I have often traded books and have similar taste in fiction, at least most of the time! I'm not a lender, in general (although as I've gotten out of college, that has changed somewhat), but with my books, I have a pretty much open-door policy. I am working to become more of a library-goer, but most years I my "library" has been other people's bookshelves. Even now I frequently trade and talk books with my friends.

So anyway, train's back on the tracks. It was derailed there for a minute. So Gretchen loaned me a book. It's called Rooms, by an author I'd never heard of, James L. Rubart. And it's got a very interesting principle. It's about a man, Micah Taylor, who runs an extremely successful software company. He receives a mysterious letter telling him that he's inherited a multi-million-dollar mansion on the Oregon Coast, at almost the exact place he had suffered a tragedy as a child.

Several authors whom I admire recommend this book, as well, so I picked it up and am already about halfway through it.

I like it, but I want to like it more. It has a great premise, and I do like the way it is unfolding, but it feels really preachy to me in a lot of ways. Not church-preachy, but still preachy... Like, everything-is-a-little-too-perfect-when-he-starts-to-bring-God-into-the-mix kind of preachy. The writing is also not as compelling as I would typically like, so I guess this book is what I consider fluff, sort of mindless reading.

On an aside, the Daddy and I just had this conversation about the term I was looking for to describe what kind of reading I feel like I'm doing right now (the ones above still don't quite fit):

Me: What is it called when you watch something for ONLY it's entertainment value? Like, you're not looking to get really anything out of it, and if you miss a part of it, it's not really a loss?

The Daddy: Fun?

Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHA. NO.

Here's the word: Distraction. This is distraction reading. I get the point he's trying to make, the writing isn't all that great, but it's not awful, and I want to find out how it ends (Because, unlike other "fluff" books, I actually can't really see how it's going to end.), so I'll plow through it. Gretchen was right, that it is a good book, if you're looking for something easy. But I guess I'm just looking for something more.

It seems like the last few books I've read and talked about on here, I've been rather critical, and honestly, I guess I either have extra-high expectations, or I'm just not picking great ones. I don't know.

But I'll finish Rooms, and maybe I'll be happier with it when it's finished. I'll let you know.

In the meantime, I've gotten finally Scarlet, the sequel to Hood by Stephen Lawhead, from the library, and have read about twenty pages of it. I actually got it a lot sooner than I'd anticipated. Yay! So far, very interesting. I like it.

In other book news, I ordered the D'Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths for the girls for Christmas, and started reading it to them, and letting KayKay do some independent reading in it. Thus far, we all love it. And considering I'm not well-versed in Greek mythology, I've been learning a lot.

KayKay has made several comments about the "silly Greek gods," and even mentioned, how for being "gods" they did an awful many things just like regular people. The Ladybug had lots of questions, and it was a little difficult to try to explain to her four-year-old brain why Cronus decided to EAT HIS CHILDREN.

But we love it. I'm definitely going to be planning on getting the other D'Aulaire's books in the future.

Links

We Interrupt This Existential Crisis: Throwing Marshmallows. This post struck me because that's very nearly what I'm doing right now. My blog post last week, The Revelation, caused a little buzz, and I haven't even mentioned it since I've been here in Miami.

Listening In The Car: Throwing Marshmallows. Another post from her... I like this idea - it's not a new one by any standards - however, I didn't know that The Story of the World came on CD??? Wow. Awesome. We may be picking those up in the near future.

If Your Resolutions Are Already Mocking You: The Gypsy Mama. Love this post. It was recommended by Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience. The author centers this post around Christmas, but I really love how she talks about parenthood and how plans just totally get derailed when you have kids. SO TRUE. Love it. Since I'm a planner, this makes my life miserable at times, but it is a really stretching and growing experience. If having kids teaches nothing else, it teaches that you simply can't plan for everything. Or anything at all. Because having a child means that life is FULL of unexpected moments. Unexpected STUFF.

Jesus Wasn't Radical: Inspired To Action. Speaking of unexpected, Kat always throws stuff at me that I'm not expecting (Kind of like my kids, but with a grown-up twist. Ha!), and this post was one of them. Made me think, that's for sure. I would like to increase my faithfulness in a serious way, because there are times when I find myself floundering in this area. Would you?

12 Words For Setting Goals In The New Year: Inspired To Action. Just... WOW. Looks like I've got a lot of work to do this year.

January Joy, 1000 Gifts: Planted By Streams. Also referencing Ann Voskamp and her book, this post feels like a gratitude list, which I have not yet tried, but am very interested in doing!

Chores In Our Family: The Thinking Mother. Oooooh, the endless chores debate. I love how she handled the laundry thing. I may have to consider that (I loathe the laundry, and the kids complain about it a lot) at some later date. I just discovered this blog, and from what I've read, I LIKE IT.

Carnival of Homeschool, Week 252: Why Homeschool. And, as if all this wasn't enough reading, here's a post with about a bajillion links in it, ALL about homeschooling. I haven't even gotten a chance to look through half of them, but wow. AWESOME! There is some fantastic stuff in here. And, even better, it's Princess Bride-themed! Whooo!

Oh, and check out this video. SOOOOOO CUTE. SOOOOOO SWEET. I've never liked Jonah all that much (selfish, ungrateful man that he was), BUT... This little girl actually makes me want to like him. And that's saying something!

Alright. I'm done (finally). Good night!

Monday Reading Becomes Tuesday's Fodder

2011-01-10T22:23:00.003-06:00

Sorry, friends. No Monday Reading.

I'm in Miami. It's tropical.

Whoooo.

Left a blizzard of gloriously beautiful snow to come down to a balmy eighty degrees and TWO HUNDRED PERCENT humidity. Ah. Lovely.

Actually, Miami in the winter is pretty fantastic. To visit, I mean.

Florida in November through February: FABULOUS.

Any other time of year: Satan has his summer home here because the temperature is just about right for his tastes. Ugh.

Imagine this: Miami in August. It's - and I'm not kidding - averaging around ninety-six degrees and eighty-percent humidity. Classes for fall semester start at the beginning of August. Worst month of the year, no joke, just ask ANYBODY who lives down here. Campus is about thirty miles across, and that's after you park and actually GET to some of the buildings where classes are held. Hauling (And no, I'm not exaggerating here, either.) at least twenty-five pounds of books and laptop with you.

And all my classes are on opposite ends of campus. But I can't drive between them, because that would take too long, and then I'd have to fight for another parking space and probably lose to some blonde Beverly Hills bimbo with fake boobs in over-priced Gucci glasses whose Daddy just bought her her second BMW after she totaled the first one. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

I'm actually NOT. Totally not. In fact, I kind of live my life trying to be the opposite of everything that girl stands for. You couldn't pay me to be her. Except, maybe, for the lipo, boob job, and Beamer. But other than that... Nah. I don't much like spoiled little rich brats. Especially ones who waste their parents' money.

But anyway. I'll get down off my rantbox now.

August and September here were always the worst. But the rest of fall semester, even with the heavy books and twelve-mile long treks between classes - everything - was absolutely gorgeous.

And then, about halfway through spring semester, the heat would come back, with a vengeance, like it was angry for being banished even for a few months. By the end of March, the gorgeous was pretty much all gone, and it's back to dragging your sweat-laden bodies through humidity so thick you had to push through it like swinging doors. Ugh, ugh, UGH.

But it's not March, it's January. Beautiful January. Happy January. Breathtaking sunsets and cool nights with the salt breeze January. Makes dealing with the traffic much easier. I'm SO happy to be here in January. Then, I can actually do stuff with my family OUTSIDE, instead of hibernating inside until the sun goes down like we're some sort of weird family of vampires. Not the sparkly kind, mind you.

So anyway, I'm here.

Happy to be here. Happy to see my Dad, step-Mom, Grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, and everyone else.

Planning on eating all the amazing Cuban food I can stuff down, drink all the amazing Cuban coffee I can guzzle, enjoy my family, visit with my friends (Oops, I meant to say, FRIEND... There is no plural, and YES, I know that it's SAD. And you know who you are.), take a couple of little old ladies out to lunch, go to all my favorite haunts, and just generally enjoy being down here during the most beautiful time of South Florida's season (Yes, there truly is only one season here, and it has two settings: "Warm," and "Hellish").

It will be fun. It already has been. I miss my family. A lot. I just don't miss Miami when Satan's visiting. Or the traffic. Or bajillion other things I could write about right now, but won't because it's almost midnight.

But... I *will* write a Reading post this week. Just not on Monday.

Because I've been up since some unholy early hour, have been through three states and three airports with two small children, lots of whining (Although on the upside, no projectile vomit - now THERE'S a story for another time.), not enough coffee, all the excitement and exhileration of visiting with family and getting settled in, and I am JUST PLAIN TIRED. So tired that I can hardly think straight. Not that I needed to explain all that, but whatever.

I'm going to bed. We'll read together soon, I promise.

The Revelation

2011-01-06T16:09:00.000-06:00

Today is the Day of Revelation. According to tradition, that is.

I thought that was a fitting word for today. There has been much revelation going on in my life lately. Just seeing myself, my life, different. Reflecting on some things that I have taken as TRUTH, when in fact, those things may only be delusions built by my own inability to trust real Truth.

Asking hard questions. Hard questions that are taking a sledgehammer to some foundations that have been laid. Hard questions that are made harder when sometimes, the only answer is faith. And not the pie-in-the-sky faith that sings Kumbaya and buries its head in the ground. No... Not the pretend faith that glosses over the hard things and lets everybody think your life is perfect when you're really screaming inside.

But faith. The real, nitty-gritty faith, the kind that shakes its fist at impossibilities and "the odds" and that leaves your fingertips cracked and bloodied because that's all you've got to hold on to.

I'm not talking about the kind of thing where it's obvious that God has closed a door and you're standing there banging your head against it because you just can't let go.

I'm talking about the kind of thing where you don't even know if the door is THERE. But you're going to keep pounding until Somebody either makes one and opens it, or tells you to shut up and go peddle your wares elsewhere.

I think, for a long time, I've been praying the wrong kinds of prayers with all the right intentions. But, as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Point taken, unknown person.

So I've started shifting the way I seek the Face of God.

The last few days have been full to bursting, unearthing questions I'd stopping asking, dreams I'd put away, impossibilities that were... Well, impossible.

In certain areas of my life - my health, for one (and OH! there are PLENTY of others) - I've gotten to complacent, accepting status quo. And it's time for that to end. I have no idea what that looks like (yet), but I know that I am moving into a different place.

I read yesterday over at SimpleMom, a post that basically said, "Never choose good when you CAN choose best." Whoa. Rocked my world, that right there. Because I've been choosing "good" and "good enough" for a good long time.

It's time for BEST. For me to be the best version of me that there is. And with God's help, I'll get there.

Just don't expect to see me next week or next month having lost 50 pounds and running five miles a day and having become Mother Theresa to my children and "the poor." Because I'm more of a realist than I admit, and all-too-often, change is a LONG TIME IN COMING. I know I need it, and sometimes even when I want it, I fight it.

But it's time for best. It's time for the revelation of who *I* can be to come out of the shadows and into LIVING.

So if you do see me next week or next month, though, ask me how the changes are coming. I might need a kick in the pants already.

What's YOUR revelation?

Monday Reading, New Year's Edition (Minus the Resolutions)

2011-01-03T20:31:00.002-06:00

Happy Monday. As Ann Voskamp said of this Monday in her post earlier today, “the first Monday of the first month of a new year, the first Monday of a brand new decade…”

Yes, indeed. Lots of firsts today.

Surprisingly (at least to me), I feel some of that newness today. I didn’t yesterday. I certainly didn’t on Saturday, the FIRST DAY of the New Year. So why today? I don’t know.

Perhaps because today has been solid day of progress. And happy attitudes. Whoa. Homeschool work was completed quickly, without complaint (WOW!! I mean seriously, WOW!!), naptime was relatively easy. And now the girls are at the park next door, screeching happily and playing, where they’ve been for the last HOUR. Can we say, Double WOW?? I think I may need to sit down, all the compliance and the noticeable lack of arguing are making my brain swell.

Maybe I even need to get back in bed, because I obviously didn’t wake up this morning and am still dreaming.

Dear God… I hope not.

I’m not one to bargain with God, but I’ll be honest – happiness and cooperation have been such that I’m tempted to do something foolish and offer God something He probably doesn’t really want anyway, like my left leg or something, just to keep it happy around here on a CONSISTANT basis for a while longer.

But I digress.

You’re not here to read about my happy perfect life (BWAHAHAHAHA! You know that’s a lie!), are you? You just wanna know what I’ve been reading, right? So let’s jump right in.

Books

My book reading list is a bit shorter this week than usual. That’s because one book in particular has captured all my attention and REFUSED to let it go.

That book is Defiance, by Nechama Tec.

This is the same book that the 2008 movie (of the same name) featuring Daniel Craig was based on. I haven’t seen the movie (surprising, I know), YET. But when I passed the book while looking for another at the library recently, I had to pick it up.

I’m not going to lie – the writing of the book is not so great. Not great at all, actually. Not truly awful, but she definitely needed a good editor to help clarify and condense. Nechama Tec, while a obviously a dedicated historian who took great pains to interview and research her work, definitely bounced around A LOT in the telling of the Beilski Otriad. That created a lot of confusion during the reading, and I didn’t discover the glossary and list of key players at the end of the book until the very last chapter! If I had, it probably would have made the reading a bit easier. And there is also quite a bit of repetition in the book, which, by the end, did get rather old.

BUT… The story. What a story! Just wow. The story centers on three of the Beilski brothers, namely Tuvia Beilski, who ended up being the leaders of the only fighting group in the woods of Western Belorussia (Poland) that dedicated itself to saving Jews from the Nazis. By the end of the war, there were over 1200 people in the group, most of which were unarmed and unable to fight – women, children, the elderly and the infirm. But the story of how these brothers accomplished this is simply unbelievable. In that respect, it was a joy to read.

It’s not an easy read, it’s often not a fun read, and honestly, the ending was rather depressing… But once I picked it up, I was completely absorbed. It went everywhere with me – doctor’s appointments, riding in the car, everywhere. I read the entirety of it in a week, which is unusual for me to do these days! And additionally, for non-fiction to grab and keep my imagination for that long – let’s just say that’s a feat. I typically don’t read much non-fiction (unless, as in this case, it’s Holocaust-related, but as I’ve gotten older, I have come to appreciate it more in other areas, too).

I can’t wait to watch the movie!

That’s pretty much it for this week, although I did pick up Beatrix Potter: A Life in Nature by Linda Lear during the same library trip. I have literally just picked it up (last night) and am about twenty pages into it (which isn’t saying much considering it’s just over SIX HUNDRED PAGES LONG. It vibrates the whole nightstand if I put it down too hard. I’m surprised the bed doesn’t vibrate. Talk about heft, that’s MY kinda book right there.), but so far I like it. It reads more like a novel than a biography, so it already appeals. That and I’ve always loved Peter Rabbit and Jemima Puddle-duck. Mostly for the adorable illustrations, but still.

But I’ll admit I’m a little intimidated by its length. I mean seriously, SIX HUNDRED PAGES.

That having been said, though… Honestly, it’s not that long. I guess it’s just that it’s a six-hundred page biography. Again, though, it reads appealingly, so I have hope.

Anyway, that’s it for now. I do have some new children’s and intermediate books that I’ll be working through in upcoming weeks as well, so pester me about those, will you?

Oh! Before I forget (and move on), next week there may not be a Monday Reading entry. We are leaving for Florida for two weeks that morning, and although I’ll try to get something ready the day before, there is no guarantee that I’ll actually remember AND DO what needs doing to get that done. Amidst packing for myself, the two monkeys and the multitude of other things that need doing before then. So yeah.

ANYWAY.

Links

As usual, there are 37 bajillion links that I’ve been reading, and I want to share them ALL. But I’m not going to, because then we’d all be here for WAY TOO LONG. So here are some of the best from this last week.

Philosophy of a Hang Nail, Resolutions Part 1: Strawberry Freckles. Wow, great read. I really identified with this post about allowing one’s anger at being mistreated to color your whole life. I have dealt with a couple of similar situations, and it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve been able to start putting those experiences into their proper places without serious anger about them. Even still, sometimes it’s a struggle.

Why I Can’t Not Be Shy: Perpetual Chaos of a Wandering Mind. The background on this blog is a little distracting for me, but it’s an excellent read. I can only pray that my life is such that I am as honored as Lorraine was when it is my time. On an unrelated note, I misread the title of the blog as Perpetual Wanderings of a Chaotic Mind. Freudian slip? Perhaps! Sounds a whole lot like my daily life! And like an awesome title for a book. Hmmm…

Five Things That Will Make You Happier: LiveScience. This is a very interesting article… I need to practice ALL of these things, although I’m generally never short on optimism!

Couples Grow Old, Happy and Sad Together: LiveScience. Another very interesting article. I love how it highlights how couples become more alike as they grow old together.

A New Year… Time for Me to Focus: Whimsyway. Although I talked about resolutions and goal-setting yesterday, I still really liked this post by the author of Whimsyway. She is *very* ambitious (at least in my opinion!), but her goals are ones that I can identify with and appreciate. I love that she wants to continue educating herself while she educates her child.

In Our House, There’s No Santa Claus: Babble. I think I posted a link similar to this a week or two ago, but I’ve found yet another good read (with good reasoning) about moving away from Santa. We don’t particularly “celebrate” Santa, so to speak, but we don’t altogether ignore him, either. I still struggle with this, because there is something special about the magic of Santa Claus, but at the same time, I completely agree with this author’s assessment of the whole thing. *Sigh* I’ll figure it out one day, hopefully before the children are grown and have to deal with it themselves.

The Five Obstacles to Eating Right: Clean Plate (Slate). A friend shared this with me on Facebook, and it’s a great read. I am working on a post about eating (not necessarily what’s categorized as “eating right”) and food, and I *may* include some of quotes from this post, because it really hit something with me that resonated.

New Word for the Year: SmallNotebook. Every time, every *single* time I go to her blog, I find something that inspires me. What is my word for 2011? Do I HAVE to choose just one? Man, that’s hard (and this being me, at least four times as hard as it would be for a normal person)… I guess I would choose Blessed. Or perhaps, Better. Or some other “B” word.

How To Select Good Picture Books: Ohdeedoh. So much good information in this article! And lots of wonderful links! What’s not to love??

Homeschool Mama, Self-Care for the Teacher: Beauty That Moves. This is a very good post about taking time for ourselves as mothers AND teachers.

Choosing Purposeful Words for Your Family in 2011: Simple Homeschool. Hmmmm, I'm thinking Rachel from SmallNotebook may have gotten her inspiration from here... But THIS POST doesn't limit you to only one word. Yay for wordy-word people like me!

Enjoy, friends! And seriously, happy Monday! (The lack of complaint has continued even to now, I’m feeling kind of shell-shocked. There was only ONE WORD of moaning about dinner – leftovers – usually there’s at least 20 minutes of whining for this particular dinner!! WHOA.)

A Year of Memories, A Year of Moments

2011-01-02T16:42:00.004-06:00

So here we are, a few hours into 2011... Well, closer to forty-eight hours into 2011, but who's counting?

It is a gloriously bright and beautiful winter's day, much unlike the unseasonably warm weather we had on Friday... Friday, New Year's Eve, was almost like spring has come three months early. Which was okay with me, because it feels like a good time to start blooming anyway.

But I am glad to embrace Mother Winter's return from her day trip, for wherever it was that she went, it obviously pleased her - the sun is shining, outside the air is chilled to perfection, and inside the afternoon light sighs warm through the windows, brightening every corner and glinting like glitter, bringing magic to even the most ordinary things.

So 2010 is over. Unlike most, I am not happy to see it go. But neither am I disheartened to be here, already in 2011. I am just... Me. And 2010, 2011, whatever year it is... Well, that's when it is.

There was no fanfare to welcome the new year - in fact, it was one of our more quiet evenings. There were no resolutions made by me, although I did fleetingly consider one or two.

I personally think that most resolutions - at least the ones that tend to crop up this time of year - are a waste. A waste of time, energy, and emotion. To resolve something - to stand firm in it, or change in such a manner as to eliminate a problem - the word has lost its meaning in much of our modern society. Oh, we resolve to do plenty of things, particularly around New Year's, but most get lost in the shuffle, when it's too hard, and we just don't feel like it. We toss around resolutions like they're fun and easy, when a resolution - I might even go so far as to say ANY resolution - should be entered with thoughtfulness, introspection, and a sobriety that is unheard of by many.

So if there ARE any resolutions that come into being this year, it will be after a time of consideration and prayer. And these last weeks have been too hectic, and I too unwell, to allow for that. Hopefully this week will present more opportunities for reflection, prayer, and thoughtfulness that might lead to some resolve. I don't know.

But in the meantime, I thought I would share the best of 2010 in photos...

January

What started out sweet and happy...

Quickly began disintegrating...

Into utter silliness.

February

I finally... FINALLY finished the girls' room. Isn't it beautiful??

March

Do I even need to put anything here?

April

Happy girls on Easter...

KayKay the cowpoke.

May

Only the Ladybug would want me to take THIS picture!

Making soup and having a blast!

June

A freshly hatched monarch butterfly...

July

With relatives like these...

Do you even HAVE to wonder about me?

August

Playing dress-up at a friend's.
Man, she loves that dress!

Friends!

September

Unhappy cowgirl.

Three girls and their boots.

October

KayKay loves Chihuly. So do I. But she's lovelier.

The Ladybug is, herself, a work of art.

Late afternoon little girls.

November

The girls with Santa Cow.
The Ladybug is a wee bit obsessed.
If Fritzy Von Buckeroo won't have her,
I think Santa Cow may be her second choice. Oy vey.

December

White Christmas, yay!

KayKay starting her (potential) career as a guitarist.

Cheesy pose, cheesy smile. Happy girl!

The Ladybug with her new, glow-in-the-dark game.
Cheesy smile part deux.

And that's that. The moments, the memories... That's all we have left. So goodbye, 2010. It was a good year, dark days and all. And although I feel that I may have had a few more than my share of dark days this year, 2010 was still good to me. I am truly and ever so blessed.

Here we come, 2011. I hope you can keep up with me!

The Day Before New Year's Eve

2010-12-30T20:56:00.000-06:00

Today is December 30th, 2010.

Tomorrow is the last day of the year.

Always, before, there has been an impatience, an excitement to the realization that another year was just around the corner. A new year.

But right now, this week, even the last month, I have been wanting to put it off the newness and keep with the comfort of the old for a little while. Wanting to lengthen the hours, to stretch them and savor their moments a little longer than usual.

I don't know why I'm feeling this way - to be honest, this has not been my best year by any method of accounting. For several months there, I was convinced it was my worst, not that many people knew about that season of my life... But no, there is nothing firm or fixed that I can point to and say, "Yes, THIS is why I'm not ready for 2010 to end."

I'm just not... I feel... Unprepared. I rather wish, at this moment, that there was a month *between* December and January, just so that I could take the time to prepare. We could call it "Decembruary." Or "Janucember." Or something completely random, like "Procrastination." Or pull an Edward Lear and create a word just for that month, like "Cranowobblerism."

But no, as the old saying goes, time stops for no man - or in this case - no woman. So march the seconds, the minutes, the hours, ever forward, and unlike us humans, they turn around and look back at what has been, they are only forward-facing, in the here, in the now. There is no introspection beyond the moment.

And maybe, that is how we're supposed to be. But we get too caught up in our past mistakes (ME!!), our past hang-ups, our PAST, that we stop looking forward and long for the momentum to end, to slow, to stop. So that we can do nothing but look and analyze and re-analyze what has been, rather than filling the space that IS.

So here, now, I make this resolution: I will savor the hours tomorrow, the last day of December, the last day before the tides of 2011 come rolling in, and then... I will make it, as in the words of Ann Voskamp, "The Year of Here." I will work hard to be me, and fill the space that is, rather than those of has been and will be.

Monday Reading, The Post-Christmas Craziness Edition

2010-12-27T21:20:00.002-06:00

Good Monday, friends!

So. I’ve kind of figured out the issue with Blogger, but I’m still frustrated at it. Lost my post last week AND didn’t ever let me post it?!?!? Argh! Stupid ~~#$(*&@!~~ Blogger.

Anyway.

Both of my children are sitting on the toilet right now (NO, not the SAME toilet), one with her Gameboy, one with a book. For some bizarre reason, whenever one gets “the urge,” the other follows suit. And then they both bring entertainment, because you know, it’s just not right to be bored whilst on the toilet. *Sigh* Should I be disturbed?

And speaking of disturbing, I just had to tell one of my children (who shall remain nameless) to “Take the turtle OUT OF YOUR UNDERWEAR NOW!” Do you really want to know more? I didn’t think so.

So it's been three Mondays since my medical debacle, and I'm *still* dragging most mornings. And noons. And evenings. Grrrr. It's been one of those things where I don't feel completely awful, just REALLY, REALLY TIRED and a little achy. And then I got a cold last week, YAY. Now I’m back to not feeling like I want to be taken out to the back forty and put down, so I haven't been focusing on it as much as I should be (bad Kristen!)... But hopefully the 32 different meds and supplements I've started taking will kill off whatever might still be in my system and I'll be back to my (much more) energetic self within the next few days. That would be good... VERY good.

I’m going to include some (actually, MOST) of last weeks’ post in here, so you’ll be all caught up for next week. Yay! And this time, I’ve gotten wise to Blogger’s wily ways and am prepared. Ha! (Insert evil laugh here.) You shall not foil me again with your dastardly deeds, Blogger!

Christmas was a good one for us here, as you might have suspected from my Christmas post. The Daddy has been home now for four days, and it’s been wonderful to have him home for so many days! We’ve had a low-key weekend, with lots of games and snuggle time and just general enjoyment.

As usual, I have about forty-seven different posts I want to write, but it always seems like Monday catches up with me again before I have the chance to write about all the other things I have stuck inside me. Always, suddenly, it's time for another reading list. Time management is not my forte. Neither is patience. Or a multitude of other things. Not that I'm complaining...

Well, actually, now that I think about it, I am complaining. I wish the time didn't seem to fly quite so quickly through my fingers and out the door. My little birds are starting to sprout their own feathers, and I'll be honest - I take no pleasure in the thought of how quickly these years have passed, and how soon it'll be that they will take flight into adventures that I can only be a small part of. I would repackage them both up into little babies again and do it all over - every minute, every tantrum, every scream and tears like rain, every brilliant smile like sunshine, and every giggle that makes the whole world right - I would, if I somehow could.

And even as I type this, I cry, because I know the days, the weeks, the years... They grow shorter with every inch that my girls grow taller. My prayers have come to include something along these lines: "Lord, let them stay close to me, live close to me, even when they are all grown up and have their own babies, so that I never have to be without them."

...Okay, I'm back. Not that you knew I was gone, but still. I stopped myself from going into full-on bawl-your-eyes-out-because-your-babies-are-growing-up mode, dried my tears and did some things relatively useful, like surf Facebook, grade schoolwork, and put on a pot of red lentil soup for dinner.

But anyway, I've been thinking about several different topics that I want to touch on in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, I have, in my own mind at least, been doing some stretching, some growing, some learning. And much of that has been related to the reading I've been doing, although I’ll only give you guys a taste of that today.

I'm also thinking of doing a daily, one-or-two-sentence post, just about life, the girls, or whatever. What do you think? Good idea? Can I keep it up (ACK!)?

Anyway, on to reading. Enjoy!

Books

So I recently purchased a book that was SO WORTH the money. It's called How To Fit A Car Seat On A Camel, and is a compilation of short stories edited by Sarah Franklin. And it's absolutely hysterical. There are about thirty stories in it, and they are all about traveling with kids. Although they are written by women from all walks of life, the recurring theme is that traveling with kids is NEVER DULL. I have laughed so hard I've cried over some of the stories… Mostly tears of recognition, because as a mother who has traveled many thousands of miles with her children, I’ve pretty much had it all happen. *Shudder*

I’m very nearly done with Illuminated… I only have like twenty pages left, but I still haven’t finished it. Yeah, yeah, I know, I should have been done with it ages ago, but the holidays have sort of taken all the wind out of my reading sails. Or deflated my reading balloon. Or… Well, you get the picture. But anyway, it’s been an interesting read.

My verdict thus far: While not the most well-written novel I’ve ever read, the writing is good and it has definitely been worth my time. The idea of a secret code hidden within the illuminations of the Gutenberg Bibles is an intriguing one, and I am definitely going to be researching the Gutenberg’s and medieval illuminations in the near future. The storyline is tight, and action-packed, keeping you on your toes pretty much throughout. It actually reads like an action movie, in some regards. There have been a couple of unexpected twists in the story that caught me completely off-guard (which is generally a good thing, unless I’m just looking for something mindless, which in this case, I definitely wasn’t), and surprisingly, there has been quite a bit more gore than I was expecting. Not like, you know, flesh-eating zombies with every atrocious detail spelled out or anything, but still a few mental images that were quite a bit more disturbing than I had expected the book to have.

I tend to avoid horror and gore in my reading and movie material – not religiously, but still avoid it, as I have too active of an imagination to fare well with much gore… As it is bloody nightmares have been a part of my life for many years, though fortunately, not NEARLY as frequently as they were when I was a child. So no horror movies or Stephen King for me, thankyouverymuch. Although I *did* read The Stand last year (after much prodding from my husband), and MAN, was that a GREAT BOOK. I may even devote a review to it, because it was over a thousand pages of (mostly) total awesomeness.

Anyway, my only gripe with the book so far is that it was over too soon… And I’m not even finished with it. But I almost am, and it’s over too soon. The info on the book says that it’s 320 pages, but it feels more like 120. It’s only 320 because the font isn’t a small one, and for me to be truly satisfied with a book, it generally needs to be at least 400 pages of smallish font. (That having been said, sometimes less is more, as with Elie Weisel’s Night. Just… Wow.) I just typically like more heft to my books. I like my books like I like my steaks, thick and meaty, with plenty to chew on, and leaving me totally sated, but wanting more in the near future. And this one has been closer to a veggie burger than a steak. Now THERE’S a connection I haven’t made before.

I’ve also picked up and read a few paragraphs here and there out of these books in the last week or so:

Go Fly A Kite, by our own local Karen Costello. A seasoned homeschooling mom, Karen gives great and timely advice about all that homeschooling is (and isn’t) to those like me, who are just starting the homeschooling journey. A worthwhile read (although I haven’t read much of it, it’s still very good!)

Homeschooling For Excellence, by David and Micki Colfax. Although this book is a bit dated by some standards, there is some good information in it. I like their philosophy on education, and like how they implemented it. I also like what I have read thus far in it because the Colfax’s have been able to articulate in ways that I couldn’t, some of the compelling reasons behind wanting to homeschool in the first place.

Links

Are You Making Your To Do List Too Hard? Find Out Why: Small Notebook. Love Rachel, love her blog. And as if she wasn't already awesome enough, she's moving to Tuscany. As in, Italy. Ugh. It's so fabulous, it's disgusting. Good thing I'm not the jealous type or anything.

Saffron To Boost Your Mood: MSN Health. Yes, I know, it's MSN. Should I be ashamed? Probably. Oh, well. Interesting read, though.

Doctoral Degrees: The Disposable Academic: The Economist. This is a really good article on the general uselessness of the modern PhD. Not that that was any great revelation, but still. I mean, please. Who gets their PhD for money, anyway? And it hasn't dissuaded me from desiring to pursue my PhD at some point in the distant future. But I guess I'm one of those dreamy-eyed humanities students who'll do it for love, not money. And that’s totally okay with me.

Healthier, Scoopable Ice Cream With A Little Stevia: Simply Sugar & Gluten Free. I'm SO excited to try this recipe because I seriously LOOOOOOOOOOVE ice cream. And I didn't know there was a way to make it quite so low-carb. Awesome! Although I may have to wait until spring and it's a little warmer than the balmy thirty degrees we have going on right now. Ice cream in winter... I don't know.

Some of the tears from earlier were very likely precipitated by this article on Evlogia, Are You Going To Have Any More? While I don't necessarily think that the question was out of line (but I'm nosy and not known for being a private person AT ALL.), I did think that her response to the lady next to her was exceptionally beautiful and heartbreaking for me, personally, to read.

Then I found this, the website for the Campaign for Love & Forgiveness. Wow. How cool is that? And what a timely find, in this season that is supposed to be all about love, and that celebrates the greatest act of forgiveness in history, the birth of the Sacrificial Lamb.

When I was speaking about stretching and growing, I was speaking of the fact that I have recently started reading some blogs written by several devoutly Catholic women. If you know me, you know that although I’m married to a Catholic, there’s pretty much NOTHING in my life that would qualify me for Catholicism. Ritual, blah. Rules, rules and more rules, blech. The Pope, meh. I’m all about a non-traditional approach to faith and grace and whooooooooo and dancing and all that. But suddenly, here I am, reading all these posts about the Church, priests, and faith, and I am drawn in, I am curious, and I am challenged. Whoa. Very unexpected.

Evlogia is one of those blogs. Conversion Diary is another. There is another, but it escapes me right now. I’ll post it soon. It is SUCH worthwhile reading, even if you don’t agree with everything these ladies write.

And last but not least, I found this post, from Simcha Fischer’s blog, I Have To Sit Down (yet another Catholic woman. But even better, she’s a Jewish Catholic. I love it!). It’s great, and to the point – particularly about the many ways we judge the holidays and all that they entail, and the last part is ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL. I’m not going to give anything away, but I LAUGHED SO HARD (and I completely agree, sorry friends).

All right. Good night. I hope you enjoyed week's reading!

And To All, A Good Night...

2010-12-25T23:16:00.020-06:00

Merry Christmas, friends.

Today has been a VERY GOOD DAY. I would venture to say, one of the best days we've had in a while.

I want to remember every moment of this day, to hold it quietly and let it shine in my memory, for those days when it is hard or when I am tired or lonely. I want to remember.

When I am old and grey, I will look back on these cozy winter hours with fondness, cherishing every second - the snow quilted on the ground and trees, lights twinkling, the girls giggles and shrieks as they opened their boxes of delights, the softness of KayKay's hair as I cuddle with her for a minute, a secret smile shared with the Ladybug, my surprise when I found a beautiful gift hidden for me by the Daddy under the tree. I will remember.

Today is about remembrance... Memories made. Grace given. Perfection in an imperfect world.

Even now, we remember: the prophesy, the journey, the mother, the manger, the star, the Child.

So merry Christmas, friends. I pray your holiday was filled with golden memories that shine bright for years to come. To remember, and be remembered.

An Open Letter To Blogger, My Traitorous Blogging Lover

2010-12-20T21:32:00.008-06:00

Dear Blogger,

I had written a fun, funny, entertaining and enlightening post. A LONG fun, funny, entertaining and enlightening post. It had links. It had book reviews. It had links. It took forever. It was awesome. Then you, Blogger freaked out on me, and LOST IT ALL.

It was fun while it lasted - I mean, I'd heard of your fickleness, your untrustworthy hangups, your willingness to flirt with disaster, but I chalked it up to part of your cute personality. Your quirks made you (mostly) lovable.

But seriously... How could you? After all the time, energy, and emotion I've invested in you, THIS is how you repay me???

If we could afford another laptop right now, I would throw this one across the room. I'm tempted to anyway. That says a lot, considering I'm not typically demonstrative when I'm angry. Or frustrated. Or agitated. Or $(*&#@@*! (Words I can't type because my children might see them.) ARGH!!! You've turned me into a monster, Blogger, and you have no one to blame but yourself.

I redid the list, even, to appease you. Not all of the list, but some. At least to have a taste of my original "Monday Reading" post. But to no avail. You would not even post one extra word for me, though I begged and pleaded and cried over my keyboard at your heartlessness.

So.

No Monday Reading, I'm sorry. For reasons only known to yourself, you won't post it. I've saved the redone list. If by some miracle, you heartless, unfeeling Blogger decide that you are feeling magnanimous and decide not to freak out later tonight, perhaps I'll find my way back into your good graces and be able to post it. Otherwise, it'll have to be Monday Reading on Tuesday. Or never, depending.

Right now, Blogger, I hate you.

Take me back, and maybe I can learn to love you again.

Sincerely,

Kristen

Monday Reading, Snowy December Edition Redux

2010-12-13T22:51:00.043-06:00

So.

It's Monday again, and there's snow on the ground. It snowed all day yesterday - big, fluffy, cotton ball flakes that conjure all the winter daydreams you've ever had and make the world suddenly seem so perfect, and so beautiful. It snowed all last night, too. And when we woke this morning, the sun was bright and everything was crystalline.

It was dazzlingly beautiful. Or pulchritudinous, if you're like the Daddy and are a walking thesaurus.

School was canceled today, and SURPRISE! It's canceled tomorrow, too. Not that that matters for us, because we homeschool, but still. Fun to know.

The girls had a blast yesterday afternoon and this morning playing in the inch or two of snow that we got... The Daddy and I stayed inside, bundled and warm, and watched them lick snow off of every imaginable surface. Yum. I call it "immune-system-building" and am sure not to watch if I can possibly help it. Although it seemed like every time I looked at them they were licking snow off of something else. Including, but not limited to, the rocks on the GROUND.

But they had fun. Crazy, running around, snow-throwing, miniature-snowman-building (does that make it a "munchkinman" - think "Wizard of Oz" or some such thing?), I'm-too-cold-because-I-didn't-put-on-enough-clothes FUN.

Anyway, I'll get to the "reading" portion of this post, as I had a major allergic reaction to something yesterday and am still not fully recovered and will therefore, be going to bed SOON.

Books

I finished Hood last night. It was good. The writing was good, the historical setting were obviously thoroughly researched, the characters pretty well-developed, and the twists on the age-old story interesting, although there were too many ideas that were "rejected outright," in my opinion. Lawhead, find another way of having your characters reject an idea. Four-to-six times, even over 450 pages, is simply too much redundancy for me. Other than that, no gripes.

My favorite character was Tuck, who is, to put it simply, AWESOME. Totally my kind of priest.

It leaves you hanging, though, so off to the library for me in a few days, to grab the other two in the trilogy and start devouring them. It is definitely worth picking the other two up. Not the most riveting book I've ever read, to be sure, but solidly well-written historical fiction, certainly. Out of five stars, I'd give it a 3.5.

In the meantime, Illuminated has arrived, and I started it immediately after putting Hood down. I'm only 20-ish pages into it, but so far, so good. The story has already grabbed my attention, and in my drugged-out state last night, that's a feat in and of itself. I'll expand more on this after I finish it.

I ordered the first three of the Books of Ember (link is to The City of Ember, the first book in the series) for KayKay for Christmas... And it's all I can do not to snatch them up and start reading them now, before she even has a chance to look at them. But I can't. I'll be a good mommy this time... But the movie was SO GOOD that I was thrilled to discover that it was based on a whole series of books! If you haven't seen the movie, City of Ember, please do. It is such a good, captivating and wholesome story! If the books are anywhere near as good, they will prove to be fantastic.

So yeah, after she opens them, all bets are off. She may have to wait in line to read them then (not that I think she'll mind - she has a pile of books as high as my own on her nightstand, and she's currently, and happily, immersed in the Happy Hollisters series by Jerry West...).

And speaking of the Happy Hollisters, which are from the 40's and 50's, are generally sweet, happy little mystery stories (think Nancy Drew for younger ones)... Yeah. So let me give you the back story. (I know, I know, we'll get back to the "reading" part in a minute!)

My mom discovered the Happy Hollisters series when I was a kid. Being the voracious reader that I was, she could hardly keep me stocked in books. Our local library was pitiful, and as she liked to screen most everything I read, but couldn't keep up with me, we would often frequent the local thrift stores. There, I would find whole, entire sets of old children's books from the turn-of-the-century through to the 50's and 60's for TEN CENTS EACH. Mom figured that they wouldn't have anything objectionable in them (and she was right!), and they kept me occupied for many happy hours. And then when I was done, she would donate them right back to the thrift store.

Nowadays, that thought makes me ill. IF I can find any of those books at all, it's on Ebay, and the cheapest ones are generally no less than $1.50/book. Many of them are impossible to find, or impossible to find complete sets of.

So when KayKay was a toddler, I found a nearly complete set of the Happy Hollisters on Ebay for, I think, around $25 for 26 books... And promptly bought them. I didn't do much more than flip through them when I got them, because they were intended for KayKay and the Ladybug to read, and as I'd already read them, there was no need... Well, I wish I'd paid greater attention at the time.

KayKay recently started reading them - she'd read the first one about a year ago, but I guess she wasn't ready for them yet, because she didn't want to read any of the others, but now I can't keep her out of them - and mentioned something to me about the girls having things drawn on them. Well, when I go to investigate, I see that in nearly all the illustrations through the book, the girls have BOOBS drawn on them (anatomically correct BOOBS, too.) AND, if that weren't bad enough, in some cases, pubic hair! ACK. Forgive me, Lord, for this, but why the blankity-blank-blank did I go to all the trouble to BUY the darned things if they were going to be practically graffiti-ed into porn? It's not, but that's not the point.

The whole thing smacks of adolescent young boy rebelling in his own "fun" way to me. Argh. Sorry, friends who have boys. I could be judging wrongly, as I only have girls, but from what I know of ten-to-twelve-year-old boys, the theory fits nicely.

Fortunately, KayKay doesn't seem too bothered. Perhaps it's the fact that most of the women in her family are relative nudists, or that her sister runs around in nothing but gloves and high heels half the time, but she actually thinks it's funny and doesn't seem to be uncomfortable with it at all. So, we roll with it. BUT STILL. *Shaking my head* Argh!

ANYWAY. Back to reading.

So that's the books... Not much this week - hopefully more next week!

Links

As to links, there are all kinds of fun things going on... Enjoy!

Been reading up about Vitamin D deficiency. Very interesting. This article on Dr. Tenpenny's website provides a lot of great information. This is also another very good source for information on the subject. We've already started taking supplements, if that gives you any idea of what I'm thinking.

This is a pretty hot-button topic for a lot of people, but I've also been doing some more research on non-immunization. I'm not looking to get into a debate about why I should or shouldn't immunize, because my kids are not, and they may never be. I won't say for certain, because I'm not certain, but that's where it is... And the more research I do, the more strongly I feel that I've made the right choice. So my kids aren't immunized. And they're pretty darn healthy. Healthier than many kids I know, actually. There are a lot of reasons for the choice not to immunize, but the main one is personal. I am that one-in-one-hundred-thousand that is severely allergic to immunizations. After multiple hospitalizations as a child, it was finally discovered which one was the most likely culprit for my weeks of lethargy, super-high fevers, and difficulty breathing - the tetanus vaccine in the DTaP. And adverse reactions to immunizations has been known to later cause Type 1 Diabetes in children. And GUESS WHO is a Type 1 Diabetic? I'll give you three guesses, and two don't count.

But anyway. Been doing research, and came across this article, which is about, interestingly enough - the DTaP, tetanus, and even has a blurb about Diabetes (although not in relation to what I wrote above). It is very interesting reading, whether you agree with it or not.

This is another article I've started (but not yet finished, ACK!) about the "required" Vitamin K shots they give newborns. I personally, am somewhat horrified by this article, as the Ladybug was given the Vitamin K shot without my consent or knowledge when she was born (my mom witnessed it and had a hissy fit).

But on to less disturbing stuff... I've been looking at some different ideas for making an Advent calendar for this time next year... I'd hoped to make one this year, but didn't get to it. I found some ADORABLE ideas, as follows:

Little Birdie Advent: Skip To My Lou (OH. MY. GOODNESS. Do I love these little birds!!)

Advent Calendar Cones: The Red Thread (So beautiful. SO easy. Love.)

Then I found this non-fiction piece that was recommended by a Facebook friend. Very interesting. Worth the read. It has nothing to do with the holidays, but whatever. It's the internet.

Then, of course, looking around for homeschooling stuff I found this interesting site on teaching reading... I don't know that this would work for us, but it's a unique idea nonetheless.

We recently ordered the Miquon Math (link is to the Yellow Book) set for KayKay... SO EXCITED to get it. I've heard nothing but good things about it. And we already have the Cuisenaire Rods, so that was a total bonus!

I also found this site (on reading, and teaching reading), which has some very useful information.

I've also been looking at this game, Frog Juice (which may or may not make the cut), and I am pretty certain we are going to end up purchasing Sleeping Queens at some point. Sleeping Queens was created by a little girl, and the illustrations are SO CUTE... What's not to love?!?!

A game company we're interested in was reviewed by Homeschoolers Magazine recently. That article is here... We are looking to get the game Erosion (link is to a Power-Point-type narrated overview) from them. It's not quite as heavy as some of their other games, but still very educational, and looks fun.

I've also been reading my dear friend, the brilliant and fiery Collette's blog, Strong Opinions. Don't you just love the sub-title?!?! I do... And I love it, Collette! Although I need more of your hilarious and fabulous witticisms in there!!

Read this - Laundry: Planted By Streams - and remembered... I need to choose joy. So simple. So complex. And of course, she uses LAUNDRY as her example. Of course.

Anyway. It's now MUCH LATER than I anticipated it being when I started this. I wrote much, much, more than I'd intended. Going to sleep. Enjoy your reading, friends!

B Is For Ballet And Saturday... Or Something

2010-12-11T22:19:00.004-06:00

Good rainy Saturday evening, friends. I'm about to pack it in, but I thought I'd share a few little nuggets before I do...

It's been a wet and gloomy day here, but perfect for our purposes: a whirlwind morning preparing for this afternoon's AMAZINGLY FABULOUS performance of "The Nutcracker" by the Nashville Ballet. Then the performance itself...

The timeless music. *Swoon* The gorgeously glittering gossamer costumes (I'm sure there are more "G" words, but I can't think of any right now). *Double swoon* The perfectly choreographed dancers. The grace which with they move. *Swoon, swoon, swoon* Be still my heart. It is simply so beautiful, I can't even put it into words.

The Sugarplum Princess at the Nashville Ballet*

The MOST beautiful part, for me, though, was watching the girls. It was the Ladybug's first time to the ballet, and watching her and KayKay sit on the edges of their seats, utterly enchanted, brought tears to my eyes. They loved every minute of it (as did I) and as soon as it was over, KayKay was asking when we were going to see it again. Ha! The child cracks me up.

So a decidedly wonderful time was had by all, AND we got to share it with some sweet friends, my delightful friend Miss Olivia and her darling little Abby... So fun!!

On another note, I also wanted to share a few links I've discovered over the last couple of days. I'll be honest, although this is the age of the internet and shared media and blah, blah, blah, I don't often WATCH videos online. It's weird, I admit it. Part of it is due to the slow and agonizing death of my computer, which means that most videos get all jacked up when I try to watch them, but another part is that watching videos generally requires me to stop flitting about and actually pay attention for more than 30 seconds. Which in and of itself can be agonizing at times (for me, at least!)... And me being me, oftentimes that 30 seconds is all it takes to COMPLETELY derail my train and leave it's smoldering ashes somewhere in the woods of Forgottenland, never to be found again.

And speaking of derailed trains...

ANYWAY. All that to say, I am breaking habit and have not only WATCHED the videos in this little list, but have found them compelling enough to share...

First... So while I don't actually agree with this crusty old dude's philosophy (phonetic spellings are cute when you're 6, not when you're 60), his presentation is pretty awesome. Especially considering what you find out at the end. Check it out!

Then my hubby clued me into this nifty little video about folding fitted sheets. Now... That's totally WORTH 30 seconds. I could kiss this woman, for she has just made my life SOOOOO much easier!

Then there's this post, by blogger Dan of Single Dad Laughing, about... Well, wedding cake and dog poop. With a twist. (Intriguing, isn't it? You KNOW you want to click on the link now, huh???) Man, this dude is right on about a LOT of things. I'm a frequent lurker there, and although I don't always agree with what he writes, I can't deny that there is a lot of poetry and power to much of his writing... And in this particular post, he's hit on some things that are big, red buttons for me. But I don't want to give anything away. Maybe I'll write more about it another time, though.

And for one last video and link... This will blow your mind. Another one the Daddy showed me, I was and still am completely blown away by the video (and following Wikipedia article) about this device. You really need to read the article to truly appreciate it, but still... It's just... WOW.

So enjoy, friends!

*Note: Photos above are not mine!

Because I Love Them

2010-12-10T23:30:00.001-06:00

It's late, and I'll be honest - I feel as though a steam-roller has run me over, followed by a semi or two. Or twelve.

But because I love them so, I must post this... My dear friends, The Lovespies (who apparently haven't updated their blog recently, but no matter, they're still fabulous), just finished recording a holiday album...

And released this song for preview. AND, they featured their sweet little butterfly in it! AAAAAH! It makes my heart get all fluttery.

Love, love, love. LOVE. Had to share.

G'night.

Monday Reading, Snowy December Edition

2010-12-07T00:31:00.002-06:00

This post got put off due to some unhappy, unexpected medical issues. They are now resolved, and it is now Tuesday at oh-dark-thirty AM. Oh, well. We can pretend it's still Monday morning, right?

_________________________________________________________________________________

It's snowing this morning - big, beautiful flakes that catch the light and dance with them. I had a ROUGH night last night, to say the least, so I'm getting a slow start this morning, still cradling my coffee in one hand as I watch the flakes twirl and pirouette outside our window.

There was much screeching and delight from the two little girls who inhabit this space upon discovering that there is actual, real snow falling outside. In her exuberance, my delighted and delightful little KayKay completely forgot that snow is COLD, and ran outside in a light shirt, sweats, and BAREFOOT. *Sigh* And of course, the Ladybug was at her heels, still dressed in her nightgown. Fortunately, I didn't have to do anything but sit there and wait. Sure enough, twenty seconds later, they were back in the door, looking shocked and exclaiming, "It's COLD." Well, uh, yeah.

Then there was the mad rush to go upstairs and get appropriate snow clothes. We're now on the third round of adding more layers. I've not offered much help in that department other than to encourage more clothes each time. Bad mommy, I know... But like I said, last night was rough. And they'll figure it out, they're smart kids.

I hope the snow sticks, though - it's been a long time since we've had a Christmastime snow, and there's simply nothing quite like enjoying snowfall this time of year.

Anyway, on to the "reading" part of this post.

Like I said yesterday, I've got loads to share. I don't know I'll even get to it all today. Let me swig down the last of (this cup of) my coffee, and I'll get started.

Books

Since I last posted Monday Reading, I have completely finished the Gideon Trilogy (a la, The Time Travelers, The Time Thief, and Time Quake) by Linda Buckley Archer. Which is well over 900 pages, if you're counting. Not that I am, or anything. It's been a fun ride, though. I love, love, LOVE the first two books. Totally worth the read... The third book, while it is a good read and ties up everything nicely... I don't know, it just wasn't quite as good. It ended exactly as it should have, which was not really the ending I wanted. Being me, I wanted everybody happy, and in essence, they were, but not in the way I wanted them to be. So just be aware, if you're like me, the last book might not quite live up to your expectations. But definitely good reads, all three of them. The Time Thief is equally as compelling as the first book, though. I would not, however, place these books into the hands of my eight-year-old. Perhaps when she's at the twelve end of the eight-to-twelve reading level, but not before. There is nothing questionable in the content (except for one scene in the last book, Time Quake, in which a peripheral character dies, but it is not graphic at all, just very sad), it is simply too mature for my KayKay as of yet.

I've also been reading snippets of Pablo Neruda's The Book of Questions. It was required reading in one of my creative writing classes, and to put it simply, it changed me. Reading this slim volume packs a punch. My writing and the way I consider the things my eyes behold have been forever altered through reading Neruda's poignant, eloquent, beautifully penned questions. One of things I love most about it is that it literally is a book of questions. There are NO answers. And I love that. The answers are wide open possibilities. This is, quite possibly, my favorite book of poetry ever. I mean, read these few of my favorites, and tell me they don't make your heart break and sing all at the same time:

Which yellow bird

fills its nest with lemons?

Why do trees conceal

the splendor of their roots?

Is it true our desires

must be watered with dew?

Why does the professor teach

the geography of death?

Do tears not yet spilled

wait in small lakes?

What will they say about my poetry

who never touched my blood?

Who shouted with glee

when the color blue was born?

Ah. Beautiful. These are just a few of the questions from the first pages of the book. If you haven't picked it up, DO!

Although I haven't read it yet, I am waiting on Matt Bronleewe's Illuminated to come... It looks interesting. It's apparently similar, but NOT THE SAME, in theme to The Da Vinci Code, except without all the blasphemy. Ha! Although it's rather sad for me to admit, I did read The Da Vinci Code, and was not very impressed. The idea of the riddles and the mystery was thoroughly compelling, but the "major revelation" was not. It was laughable, in my opinion. (If you loved it, forgive me. We can still be friends.) Brown might as well have introduced space aliens (because when you run out of original ideas, there are ALWAYS space aliens. Or Jesus having an illegitimate love-child with Mary Magdalene. You know, whatever.). However, this book, Illuminated, looks intriguing. I hope it lives up to my expectations... And not Dan Brown's space aliens. If not, it'll be re-listed on Amazon.com, and you'll hear all about it. Well, you'll hear all about it either way.

A friend of mine gave me - ages ago - Hood, by Stephen Lawhead. I've FINALLY picked it up and am about fifty pages into it so far. I've read Steven Lawhead in the past - a number of years ago, actually - and liked his stuff, for the most part. I stopped reading him some years ago because I wasn't that much into his writing, but so far, this is a very interesting take on the story of Robin Hood. I'll let you know how it develops.

Articles

It being the holidays and all, I've been reading a lot about gifting and Advent and Hanukkah and all kinds of other fun things. Enjoy!

A Jesse Tree Devotional: Planted By Streams: Like this blogger, we too are following Ann Voskamp's Jesse Tree Devotional. I am planning on making these ornaments in the next day or two - I have the supplies, but don't know if I will get to it today or not.

Two Favorite Fall Projects: Planted By Streams: I love this idea! We will be making coffee filter leaves next year, I think.

And one more from here... Art Boards: Planted By Streams: These are awesome. I totally want some for the girls!

Vintage Kids' Books My Kid Loves: This blog is very interesting and gives some great inspiration and ideas for older books to look for at thrift stores and online.

I would LOVE to post what I'm going to make for holiday gifts on here, but I can't (Sorry, Dad, you won't find out for a few days yet!), so instead, I'll post some of the OTHER things I've been looking at to make. Starting with Rhoda’s Peppermint Hot Fudge Sauce: The Kitchn. Yum-O. Unfortunately, I don't think this would ship well... But I am still thinking of making some anyway.

Then there's the Roasted Garlic Lemon Mustard: Local Kitchen. Wow, this looks amazing. This is definitely a project for another time, but I'm filing it away.

And how about Candy Cane Syrup: Storybook Woods?? Does the name of of THIS POST on THIS BLOG get any more fabulous? I wanted to make it just from the name... And then I read the post, and I wanted to make it even more!

And then I found The Thankful Jar: Little Birdie Secrets. Perfect!&

I can't divulge where I got this Wikipedia link from (as it also has to do with gifting), but I thought this tradition was absolutely delightful. Does anyone else want thirteen desserts now, too? Seriously, the French know how to do a whole lot of things right. Despite what SOME PEOPLE might think. Ahem.

How could I not want to make apple butter with this, Carolina Braunschweig's Apple Butter: The Wednesday Chef?? Looks wonderful, doesn't it?

You must think I'm hungry by now (which I actually am, but that has nothing to do with it), but actually I've been looking at these different links for days... Anyway... Enjoy, friends!

ARGH! And Bah-HUMBUG... Oh, Hello There!

2010-12-05T23:50:00.000-06:00

Can we say, "Not ready for the holidays????" Argh! My life and my computer have conspired against me to not be able to post for quite a few days longer than I'd anticipated. So sorry, friends.

Mother Winter has settled in for her annual visit whilst I have been away, and shook out her silver-grey shawl all over us today. Slate skies, trees shivering in their undress - and yet unashamed, glittery snow flurries all around. It was a good day to settle in with a cup of tea and a good book (which, alas, I did not get to do. But I have been reading a lot lately, so it's okay...).

I *had* plans to post a few Halloween photos over Thanksgiving weekend. Ha! Lightroom (or more precisely, my dying computer in general) decided it wasn't going to play nicely, and I've only JUST NOW been able to get to them and edit them. I mean, it's only been five weeks, right? And seriously, WHERE has the time gone?!?! Five weeks, and it's already December!!!

But if we talk, even on a semi-regular basis, you'll know that my computer has been on its last legs for some time. It keeps wheezing through the days, with increasing slowness and frustration on my part... So yeah, Lightroom was its most recent victim. I've finally been able to reconnect, but I don't know how long it'll last, so we'll see.

But I have so much to tell! It's been crazy-busy around here lately, and interesting, to say the least.

But first, please check out my other page, The Flour Girls, particularly the "Holiday Specials"... We are doing some exciting things for the holidays!

I'll be back on track with my Monday Reading series tomorrow, I promise. And I have some very interesting reading to share, so be sure to stop by!

In other news, KayKay has battled - and come out mostly victorious, although, poor kid, she's still seriously itchy - against scarlet fever, business is crazy - mostly crazy good, we still have (what feels like) 32 pounds of turkey in the freezer (two meals a day for over a week, and we're still not tired of it... Well, the kids have started complaining, but they'll live.), the Ladybug has mentioned marrying one of my mother's goats (OH, BOY. Now there's a turn in conversation I wasn't expecting. Let's hope the idea doesn't take hold.), and speaking of goats, the selfsame goat that my daughter wants to marry has fathered seven, that's right, SEVEN kids, all of which were born this past week. Again, if I haven't mentioned it before, the whole child-goat marriage thing is rather disturbing. I'd rather not satyrs for grandchildren. So yeah... We'll be working on that.

The Ladybug confused Hanukkah with her harmonica earlier this evening. We were talking about our menorah and the Hanukkah lights, and next thing we know, she's running upstairs to get her harmonica. Apparently, she thought we wanted a concert.

She also confused Advent with something equally as amusing, however, my addled mommy-brain has already filed it away under "Forgotten." If I remember, I'll post it here.

Homeschooling has slowed to a near-crawl due to the scarlet fever thing with KayKay. Poor kid. It was an exceptionally mild case, but it's been well on two weeks now and she's still easily tired and kind of dragging at times. So we've been doing a lot of reading... A LOT of reading... With a little math sprinkled in for good measure. I'm okay with that, and she seems happy, but at some point we'll need to pick back up history, geography, language arts and science. I think we'll start easing back into it tomorrow, but we probably won't go super-heavy into anything until after New Year's. At least, that's the thought...

I am excited about some new materials we'll be trying, though, and also about the fact that she finally, FINALLY admitted that she really, truly does love homeschooling. She even went so far as to say she didn't know if she'd choose to go back to "regular" school. That's a big deal for me, because most of the issues we've had with homeschooling thus far have been the fact that she has really missed her friends at "regular" school.

However, one of the major reasons we ended up pulling her out of school was precisely because of those friends. Seven-year-old CHILDREN should not be having conversations with each other about sex, I'm sorry. I don't consider myself a prude, but at that, I must draw the line. I haven't really gone into our reasoning behind choosing to homeschool on here, but for me, and I can say pretty certainly for the Daddy, too, the increasingly negative impact that her school friends were having on KayKay was a big motivator. We watched our daughter go from sweet and (mostly) compliant to defiant, mouthy, and belligerent. And over-informed by UNINFORMED sources. Ugh. Besides being constantly inundated by requests for everything from certain types of clothes and toys to a CELL PHONE. Puh-leeze. The child lost her mind for a time...

But she's slowly gaining it back, methinks. There have been plenty of living room reenactments of "The Clash of the Titans" between her and I in recent months (which begs the question, then... Am I the dragon monster???), but it has gotten much better, and she has consistently progressed in her work. Her writing, logic, and mathematic abilities are impressive (at least to me!), and I am amazed at watching her how she is constantly learning. It's a beautiful thing to watch, and I am so grateful to have been given this opportunity to shepherd my sweet girls in their education.

The Ladybug, having not known school, and whose idea of "school" lives somewhere in her imagination, is much easier to please - although I am noticing trends with her, and how she learns. She is best with imaginative play (as many children her age are), and also with hands-on activities. She doesn't even like to color much, but in short bursts, so I have to change it up a lot. Stick-to-it-iveness is not one of her strong points, and something we'll be working on. I am constantly encouraging both girls, but particularly the Ladybug, to "do your best in everything." Being the baby (and riding on that, OFTEN), she frequently tries to skate through things by doing only enough to get by. Granted, she's only 4, but still... Striving for excellence should start early.

Anyhoo, I didn't intend for this post to turn into a homeschool post, but it kind of did. Oh, well. It's late, and we have school tomorrow. And baking. And blogging. Amongst other things. Going to bed now.